WELCOME to MONDAY OCTOBER 11, 2021
Two Additions to the Periodic Table of Elements…
Element Name: WOMAN
Atomic Weight: (Don’t even go there)
Physical properties: Generally round in form. Boils at nothing and may freeze at any time. Melts whenever treated properly. Very bitter if mishandled.
Chemical properties: Very active. Highly unstable. Possesses strong affinity with gold, silver, platinum, and precious stones. Volatile when left alone.
Able to absorb great amounts of exotic food. Turns slightly green when placed next to a shinier specimen.
Usage: Highly ornamental. An extremely good catalyst for dispersion of wealth. Probably the most powerful income reducing agent known.
Caution: Highly explosive in inexperienced hands.
Element Name: MAN
Atomic Weight: (180+/-50)
Physical properties: Solid at room temperature, but gets bent out of shape easily. Fairly dense and sometimes flaky. Difficult to find a pure sample.
Due to rust, aging samples are unable to conduct electricity as easily as young samples.
Chemical properties: Attempts to bond with WO any chance it can get. Also tends to form strong bonds with itself. Becomes explosive when
mixed with KD (Element: Child) for prolonged period of time. Neutralize by saturating with alcohol.
Usage: None known. Possibly good methane source. Good specimens are able to produce large quantities on command.
Caution: In the absence of WO, this element rapidly decomposes and begins to smell.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a GREAT MONDAY people,
stay safe, and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁
q u o t e s o f t h e d a y
“NASA announced that it has finally discovered water on Mars. When they heard,
Americans were like, ‘Eh, tell us when they discover beer.'” -Jimmy Fallon
“A woman in Italy recently married herself in a ceremony that included a three-layer wedding
cake, bridesmaids, and 70 guests. Did I say guests? I meant cats. 70 cats.” -Seth Meyers
“The other day in Australia, a wedding took place inside a Costco. Because it
was Costco, the groom came home with 12 brides.” -Conan O’Brien
Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
While trying to explain to our six-year-old daughter how much technology had changed, my
husband pointed to our brand-new personal computer and told her that when he was in college,
a computer with the same amount of power would have been the size of a house.
Wide-eyed, our daughter asked, “How big was the mouse?” 😳
Fridays’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “
“Listen to me.”
“No, no! You listen to ME!”
Answer: Risky Business!
In the events leading up to this scene Chicago teenager Joel Goodson (Tom Cruise) has turned his home into a brothel while his parents are on vacation. As call girl Lana (Rebecca De Mornay) suggests, “If we could get our friends together, we’d make a fortune.” Lana’s former pimp Guido (Joe Pantoliano) thinks Joel has stolen Lana from him and cleans out Joel’s house of all furniture in retaliation. Joel wants to get it back before his parents return from vacation. In the power play by telephone in this scene, Guido says the first line and Joel replies with the second. “Risky Business” was the movie that made Tom Cruise a big star.
Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???
“You’re not a cook.”
“Yeah, well… I also cook.”
Friday’s Quizzler is….
S E Q U E N C _
What letter can you place on the line, other than E, to complete this sequence?
Answer: Place an F on the _ to form an E.
Monday’s Quizzler is…….
I’m called a man,
But I’ll never have a wife.
I was given a body,
But not given life.
They made me a mouth,
But I wasn’t given breath.
Water gives body,
And sun gives me death.
What am I?
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in TUESDAY’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
CHECK THIS BOOK OUT online at https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07FF669PT/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1531337765&sr=1-1&keywords=The+Banquet+Servers+Hand+Guide#, Amazon.com: The Banquet Servers Hand Guide (Basic) eBook: Euclid Strayhorn: Kindle Store.