WELCOME to FRIDAY OCTOBER 15, 2021
ACTUAL EXCERPTS FROM STUDENT SCIENCE EXAMS:
Charles Darwin was a naturalist who wrote the organ of the species.
Benjamin Franklin produced electricity by rubbing cats backwards.
The theory of evolution was greatly objected to because it made man think.
Three kinds of blood vessels are arteries, vanes and caterpillars.
The process of turning steam back into water again is called conversation.
The Earth makes one resolution every 24 hours.
To collect fumes of sulfur, hold a deacon over a flame in a test tube.
Algebraical symbols are used when you do not know what you are talking about.
The pistol of a flower is its only protection against insects.
Dew is formed on leaves when the sun shines down on them and makes them perspire.
A super-saturated solution is one that holds more than it can hold.
A triangle which has an angle of 135 degrees is called an obscene triangle.
When you haven’t got enough iodine in your blood you get a glacier.
For fractures: to see if the limb is broken, wiggle it gently back and forth.
To remove dust from the eye, pull the eye down over the nose.
For asphyxiation: apply artificial respiration until the patient is dead.
When you smell an odorless gas, it is probably carbon monoxide.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a GREAT WEEKEND people,
stay safe, and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁
q u o t e s o f t h e d a y
“Google just released a pair of headphones that can translate 40 languages instantly. They say
it’s a great way to travel to a new country and find out everyone’s making fun of you.” -Jimmy Fallon
“According to a new report, Nigeria owes New York City over $500,000 in unpaid parking tickets for
its foreign diplomats. Nigeria apologized and said they’ll pay the fines right away if they we send them
our bank account number, our PIN, and our mother’s maiden name.” -Seth Meyers
“A New York fitness expert has released an exercise book for nuns called, ‘Changing Habits: The Sister’s
Workout.’ The Vatican rejected the original title, ‘Nuns of Steel.'” –Conan O’Brien
Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
While waiting in line at a busy airport check-in counter, I noticed a set of rambunctious little boys
in front of me. As the line inched along, their mother tried in vain to get them to calm down.
Finally she reached the counter, where the ticket agent asked her, “Have any of the items you plan
to take with you on this flight been out of your immediate control since your arrival at the airport?”
The young mother replied honestly, “The luggage, no; the children, yes.” 😁😎
Thursdays’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “
“Paulie, it’s Thanksgiving. I got a turkey in the oven.”
“Oh… a turkey in the oven.”
In this scene, meat plant employee Paulie (Burt Young) is having a heated discussion with his almost 30-year-old, unmarried sister Adrian (Talia Shire) at the home they share together. He wants to get her out of the house socially or, he thinks, “if she don’t wise up, she’s gonna die an old maid.” When she says the first line, he replies with the second. Then he takes the turkey out of the oven, throws it in the alley and says, “You want the bird? Go in the alley and eat the bird.” In the 1977 Academy Awards, “Rocky” won three Oscars, including Best Picture. Sylvester Stallone, Burt Young, Burgess Meredith, and Talia Shire were all nominated for awards but didn’t win. Sylvester Stallone wrote the script for “Rocky” in just three days after he saw a match between boxing great Muhammad Ali and an unknown club fighter named Chuck Wepner in which Wepner went the distance. “Rocky” tells the story of Rocky Balboa, a Philadelphia club boxer who gets a chance to fight for the heavyweight title of the world. The theme song “Gonna Fly Now” played by Bill Conti was a big hit in the late 1970s and is still frequently heard at sporting events.
Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???
“As for me, I’m just a slave, a living slave.”
Thursday’s Quizzler is….
Each pair of definitions is for two words, where the second word is the first word with an extra letter added
somewhere (example: band & brand). The length of the short word in each pair is provided.
1) low in fuel content & to gain knowledge (4 letters)
2) a small vessel for liquids & essential (4 letters)
3) a low or open slipper & malicious gossip (6 letters)
4) a mark used to indicate the place where something is to be inserted & a floor covering (5 letters)
Answer: 1) lean & learn
2) vial & vital
3) sandal & scandal
4) caret & carpet
Friday’s Quizzler is…….
I hover out there in darkness unseen.
I will shred things to pieces ’till they’re just smithereens.
I might serve as a gateway to places unspoken,
Yet I’m sealed off to man, forever unbroken.
I twist and distort, only darkness escapes,
I destroy all I find
Whatever I take.
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in MONDAY’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
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