Monday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

WELCOME to MONDAY OCTOBER 18, 2021

New Orleans Lawyer…
Part of rebuilding New Orleans caused residents often to be challenged with the task of tracing home titles back potentially hundreds of years. With a community rich with history stretching back over two centuries, houses have been passed along through generations of family, sometimes making it quite difficult to establish ownership. Here’s a great letter an attorney wrote to the FHA (Federal Housing Administration) on behalf of a client:
He was told the loan would be granted if he could prove satisfactory title to a parcel of property being offered as collateral. The title to the property dated back to 1803, which took the lawyer three months to track down. After sending the information to the FHA, he received the following reply:
“Upon review of your letter adjoining your client’s loan application, we note the request is supported by an Abstract of Title. While we compliment the able manner in which you have prepared and presented the application, we must point out you have only cleared title to the proposed collateral property back to 1803. Before final approval can be accorded, it will be necessary to clear the title back to its origin.”

Annoyed, the lawyer responded as follows:
“Your letter regarding title in Case No.189156 has been received. I note you wish to have title extended further than the 206 years covered by the present application. I was unaware any educated person in this country, particularly those working in the property area, would not know Louisiana was purchased by the United States from France in 1803, the year of origin identified in our application. For the edification of uninformed FHA bureaucrats, the title to the land prior to U.S. ownership was obtained from France , which had acquired it by Right of Conquest from Spain. The land came into the possession of Spain by Right of Discovery made in the year 1492 by a sea captain named Christopher Columbus, who had been granted the privilege of seeking a new route to India by the Spanish monarch, Queen Isabella. The good Queen Isabella, being a pious woman and almost as careful about titles as the FHA, took the precaution of securing the blessing of the Pope before she sold her jewels to finance Columbus ‘s expedition. Now the Pope, as I’m sure you may know, is the emissary of Jesus Christ, the Son of God, and God, it is commonly accepted, created this world. Therefore, I believe it is safe to presume God also made the part of the world called Louisiana . God; therefore, would be the owner of origin and His origins date back to before the beginning of time, the world as we know it, and the FHA. I hope you find God’s original claim to be satisfactory. Now, may we have our loan?”

The loan was immediately approved.

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a GREAT MONDAY people,
stay safe, and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁

q u o t e s o f t h e d a y

“Not how long, but how well you have
lived is the main thing.” ~ Seneca

“Life is what happens when you’re busy
making other plans.” ~ John Lennon

“Life is ten percent what happens to you and ninety
percent how you respond to it.” ~ Charles Swindoll

“Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know
what you’re going to get.” ~ Forrest Gump

Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
A DEA officer stopped at a ranch in Texas, and talked with an old rancher. He told the rancher,
“I need to inspect your ranch for illegally grown drugs.”
The rancher said, “Okay, but don’t go in that field over there,” as he pointed out a distant location.
The DEA officer verbally exploded, saying, “Mister, I have the authority of the Federal Government with me!”
Reaching into his rear pants pocket, he removed his badge and proudly displayed it to the rancher.
“See this badge? This badge means I am allowed to go wherever I wish…on ANY land! No questions asked or
answers given! Have I made myself clear…do you understand??”
The rancher nodded politely, apologized, and went about his chores.
A short time later, the old rancher heard loud screams, looked up and saw the DEA officer running for his life,
being chased by the rancher’s enormous Santa Gertrudis bull.
With every step the bull was gaining ground on the officer, and it seemed likely that the officer would be gruesomely
gored before he reached safety. The man was clearly terrified.
The rancher threw down his tools, ran to the fence and yelled at the top of his lungs:
“Your badge…show him your BADGE!” 😅😆😁

Fridays’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “
“As for me, I’m just a slave, a living slave.”

Answer: “Bridge on the River Kwai”
William Holden portrays American Navy Commander Shears. In a conversation with Colonel Nicholsen (played by Alec Guiness) he tries to stress the importance of the Japanese war prisoners being treated like soldiers while they’re being forced to build a bridge. The entire quote is “I hope they can remain soldiers, Colonel. As for me, I’m just a slave, a living slave.”
The movie is a fictional account of a bridge being built by POWs as part of the Burma railway in WWII. It was filmed mostly in present day Sri Lanka. The movie won several Academy Awards including Best Picture. Alec Guiness won the Best Actor Oscar. William Holden did not receive an Oscar for his performance. Born William Franklin Beedle Jr. in Illinois, Holden’s first major film role was in 1939’s “Golden Boy”, a movie about a boxer who becomes a violinist.

Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???
“It’s the beast in me.”

Friday’s Quizzler is….​
I hover out there in darkness unseen.
I will shred things to pieces ’till they’re just smithereens.
I might serve as a gateway to places unspoken,
Yet I’m sealed off to man, forever unbroken.
I twist and distort, only darkness escapes,
I destroy all I find
Whatever I take.

Answer: A black hole.
Scientists theorize that black holes and wormholes might lead to other dimensions or
different parts of the universe and so on.
Thus a “gateway to places unspoken.”
Man cannot (as yet) enter a black hole. The end is self-explanatory.
As for the hint, black holes have an event horizon, and if something is to pass it, there
is no way of escaping. (At least none that we know of.)

Monday’s Quizzler is…….
I have T at my start,
I have T at my end.
I have T in my middle,
And it comes through my bend.

What am I?

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in TUESDAY’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

RECOMMENDED WEBSITE LINKS:
https://elisabethluxe.com., http://www.themuscleministry.com.

CHECK THIS BOOK OUT online at https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07FF669PT/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1531337765&sr=1-1&keywords=The+Banquet+Servers+Hand+Guide#, Amazon.com: The Banquet Servers Hand Guide (Basic) eBook: Euclid Strayhorn: Kindle Store.
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