Tuesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!


Please Give me Patience….
Recently, when I went to McDonald’s I saw on the menu that you could have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets.
I asked for a half dozen nuggets.
‘We don’t have half dozen nuggets,’ said the teenager at the counter.
‘You don’t?’ I replied.
‘We only have six, nine, or twelve,’ was the reply.
‘So I can’t order a half dozen nuggets, but I can order six?’
‘That’s right.’
So I shook my head and ordered six McNuggets.

I was checking out at the local Walmart with just a few items and the lady behind me put her things on the belt close to mine.
I picked up one of those ‘dividers’ that they keep by the cash register and placed it between our things so they wouldn’t get mixed.
After the girl had scanned all of my items, she picked up the ‘divider’, looking it all over for the bar code so she could scan it.
Not finding the bar code, she said to me, ‘Do you know how much this is?’
I said to her ‘I’ve changed my mind; I don’t think I’ll buy that today.’
She said ‘OK,’ and I paid her for the things and left.
She had no clue to what had just happened.

A woman at work was seen putting a credit card into her floppy drive and pulling it out very quickly.
When I inquired as to what she was doing, she said she was shopping on the Internet and they kept
asking for a credit card number, so she was using the ATM ‘thingy.’😳

I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car.
‘Do you need some help?’ I asked.
She replied, ‘I knew I should have replaced the battery to this remote door unlocker. Now I can’t get into my car.
Do you think they (pointing to a distant convenience store) would have a battery to fit this?’
‘Hmmm, I don’t know. Do you have an alarm, too?’ I asked.
‘No, just this remote thingy,’ she answered, handing it and the car keys to me. As I took the key and manually
unlocked the door, I replied, ‘Why don’t you drive over there and check about the batteries. It’s a long walk….’

Several years ago, we had an Intern who was none too swift. One day she was typing and turned to a secretary and said,
‘I’m almost out of typing paper. What do I do?’
‘Just use paper from the photocopier’, the secretary told her.
With that, the intern took her last remaining blank piece of paper, put it on the photocopier and proceeded to make five ‘blank’ copies.

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a HAPPY TUESDAY people,
stay safe, and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁

q u o t e s o f t h e d a y

“The federal government is starting to plan for climate change by making extended forecasts
that can help people plan for extreme weather – because what can go wrong when you combine
the efficiency of government with the accuracy of weathermen?” -Jimmy Fallon

“Scientists in northern California and Oregon found that marijuana gardens are threatening the
salmon population. I don’t see the problem, really. Everyone loves baked salmon.” -Seth Meyers

“Archaeologists believe they have found the tomb of St. Nicholas beneath an ancient church in
Turkey. St. Nicholas, of course, is the basis for the legend of Santa Claus. And they think they
found him. Which means now when my son asks me if Santa is real, I can confidently say,
‘Yes! He is dead though. That’s why you didn’t get that bike.'” -James Corden

Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
A pretty young blonde stood at the bank cashier’s window and smiled. “I’d like to cash this check, please,” she said, handing it over.
The teller examined the check and said: “Could you identify yourself, Miss?”
For a moment the lovely girl’s brow creased over, then with a bright look she fumbled in her handbag and producing a mirror,
glanced in it and with relief said, “Yes! It’s me, all right!”
The clerk said, “No Ma’am, you misunderstood me. We require a photo identification.”
The girl searched her bag again and found a picture with a group of people. “This is a recent family photo,”
she explained. “That’s me, third from the left.” 😳

Mondays’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “
“It’s the beast in me.”

Answer: Elvis Presley/”Jailhouse Rock”
In the movie Elvis plays ex-con Vince Everett. Upon his release he meets a record company talent scout named Peggy Van Alden. She agrees to allow Everett to record a song. Everett and Van Alden start their own label and Everett becomes successful and famous. When he makes advances to Peggy she rejects him. Elvis says the line to Peggy in an attempt to explain his behavior. Judy Tyler plays Peggy Van Alden. She died in a car wreck soon after the film was made and Elvis claims that he never watched the completed film. Elvis made 31 films during his career as an actor.

Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???
“It’s better to be looked over than overlooked.”

Monday’s Quizzler is….​
I have T at my start,
I have T at my end.
I have T in my middle,
And it comes through my bend.

What am I?

Answer: A teapot!

Tuesday’s Quizzler is…….
Professor C. D. Rock ran out of teasers, so he went to Teaserville to buy some more. After arriving there he went to 6 different stores. He first went to the “Theater” to buy some teasers about movies. He then went to the “ER Hospital” to buy teasers about health, and the human body. Then he went to, in order, the “Art Center,” the “Supermarket,” and the “Energy Plantation.” He then went to one last store. It was one of the following:

A. Library
B. High School
C. Dance Arena
D. Saloon
E. Dog Pound
F. Railroad Station
G. Petting Zoo
H. Carnival

Can you figure out which place Professor C. D. Rock visited lastly?

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in WEDNESDAY’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

https://elisabethluxe.com., http://www.themuscleministry.com.

CHECK THIS BOOK OUT online at https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07FF669PT/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1531337765&sr=1-1&keywords=The+Banquet+Servers+Hand+Guide#, Amazon.com: The Banquet Servers Hand Guide (Basic) eBook: Euclid Strayhorn: Kindle Store.
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