Friday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

WELCOME to FRIDAY OCTOBER  22, 2021
The Law Of…

Law of Mechanical Repair – After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch.

Law of the Workshop – Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.  

Law of Probability – The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.

Law of the Telephone – When you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal.

Law of the Alibi – If you tell the boss, you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you really will have a flat tire.

Law of Variation – If you change traffic lanes, the one you were in will start to move faster than the one you are in now. (works every time)

Law of Bathing – After the body is fully immersed in warm, soothing water, the telephone rings.

Law of Close Encounters – The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don’t want to be seen with.

Law of the Result – When you try to prove to someone that a machine won’t work, it will. Likewise, if you try to prove that a machine will work, it won’t.

Law of Biomechanics – The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

Theatre Rule – At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.

Law of Coffee – As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something that will last until the coffee is cold.

Murphy’s Law of Lockers – If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.

Law of the Locker Room – If you are uncomfortable being naked; the dressing room will fill up with greek gods or goddesses.

Law of Dirty Rugs/Carpets – The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich of landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet/rug.  

Law of Location – No matter where you go, there you are.

Law of Logical Argument – Anything is possible if you don’t know what you are talking about.

Brown’s Law – If the shoe fits, it’s ugly.

Oliver’s Law – A closed mouth gathers no feet.

Wilson ‘s Law – As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it or the store will stop stocking it.

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a GREAT WEEKEND people,stay safe, and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here!  Eucman!  😁

q u o t e s o f t h e d a y
“Some national parks have long waiting lists for camping reservations. When you have to wait a year to sleep next to a tree, something is wrong.”
–George Carlin  

“If it weren’t for Philo T. Farnsworth, inventor of television, 
we’d still be eating frozen radio dinners.”–Johnny Carson

“If you shoot at mimes, should you use a silencer?”–Steven Wright

“Political correctness is tyranny with manners.”–Charlton Heston

“Give me a museum and I’ll fill it.”–Pablo Picasso

Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes Perks of reaching 50 or being over 60 and heading towards 70! Kidnappers are not very interested in you.
In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first. No one expects you to run–anywhere. People call at 9 pm and ask, did I wake you? People no longer view you as a hypochondriac. There is nothing left to learn the hard way. Things you buy now won’t wear out. You can eat supper at 4 pm. You can live without sex but not your glasses. You get into heated arguments about pension plans. You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge. You quit trying to hold your stomach in no matter who walks into the room. You sing along with elevator music. Your eyes won’t get much worse. Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather service. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can’t remember them either. Your supply of brain cells is finally down to manageable size. You can’t remember who sent you this list. And you notice these are all in Big Print for your convenience. 

Thursdays’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? ”      “God is a luxury I can’t afford.”  
Answer:  “Crimes and Misdemeanors” This 1989 Woody Allen film deals with Martin Landau’s character having to come to terms with murder. Martin’s character is Judah Rosenthal. In an imaginary conversation with a rabbi Judah says “God is a luxury I can’t afford. Jack lives in the real world. You live in the kingdom of heaven.” After Judah confirms that Dolores has been killed he goes to her apartment and takes her address book and anything that could link him with her. He gets away with the murder. New York native Martin Landau is probably best known for his roles in the television shows “Mission Impossible” and “Space 1999”. In 1968 and 1969 he received Emmy award nominations for Best Actor for his “Mission Impossible” roles. In 1994 he won the Best Supporting Actor Oscar for his portrayal of Bela Lugosi in “Ed Wood”. 

Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???   “Politicians, ugly buildings and prostitutes all get respectable if they last long enough.”

Thursday’s Quizzler is….​ TRANCE, STAIN, CHIME, TUBA and PERK. These words all belong to the same logical family. Which of the following words also belongs to that family?
GERMANE, EMBARGO, BANANA and NIGHTMARE    Answer:  GERMANE. In the logical family of words, you can change one letter in each word and create a country`s name. FRANCE, SPAIN, CHILE, CUBA and PERU. Germane can be changed into GERMANY. 

Friday’s Quizzler is…….Do you know what this means?

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in MONDAY’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

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