Monday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

Computer Upgrade….
Dear Tech Support,Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend to Husband and noticed a distinct slowdown in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend.
In addition, Husband uninstalled many other valuable programmes, such as Romance and Personal Attention and then installed undesirable programs such as Rugby, Football, Sailing and Continuous TV.  Conversation no longer runs, and Housecleaning simply crashes the system. I’ve tried running Nagging to fix these problems, but to no avail.What can I do?
Signed, ~ Desperate <(o.O)>
Dear Desperate,First keep in mind, Boyfriend is an Entertainment Package, while Husband is an Operating System. Please enter the command: ‘http: I Thought You Loved Me.html’ and try to download Tears. Don’t forget to install the Guilt update. If that application works as designed, Husband should then automatically run the applications Jewellery and Flowers, but remember – overuse of the above application can cause Husband to default to Grumpy Silence, Garden Shed or Beer.Beer is a very bad program that will download the Snoring Loudly Beta. Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-in-law (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources). Also, do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband. In summary, Husband is a great system, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. It also tends to work better running one task at a time. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend Food and Hot Lingerie.Good Luck, Tech Support
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a GREAT MONDAY people,stay safe, and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here!  Eucman!  😁

q u o t e s o f t h e d a y
“Researchers have published a letter from a Harvard student in 1743 asking his parents for money. On the bright side, just this year his student loans were finally paid off.” -Conan O’Brien

“Indonesia’s anti-drug chief is proposing that the country put narcotics offenders in a jail on an island surrounded by crocodiles. The plan is to send the inmates food supplies every day but they will have to survive on their own. This already sounds like a reality TV show I would totally watch.” -James Corden

“New research has found that contrary to popular belief, it could be beneficial for women to eat and drink while in labor. Though I don’t think the other people in the restaurant would be too happy about it.” -Seth Meyers  

Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes On October 13, 1944, the Durham N. C. Sun Reported that a Durhamite had been brought before a Judge Wison in traffic court for having parked his car on a restricted street right in front of a sign that read “No Stoping.”Rather than pleading guilty, the defendant argued that the missing letter in the sign meant that he had not violated the letter of the law. Brandishing a Webster’s dictionary, he noted that stoping means:
“Extracting ore from a stope or, loosely, underground.” “Your Honor”, said the man, “I am a law-abiding citizen and I didn’t extract any ore from the area of the sign. I move that the case be dismissed.” Acknowledging that the defendant hadn’t done any illegal mining, the judge declared the man not guilty and commented, “Since this is Friday, the 13th, anything can happen, so I’ll turn you loose.” 😳😁😎 

Fridays’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? ”     “Politicians, ugly buildings and prostitutes all get respectable if they last long enough.”  Answer: “Chinatown”The son of actor Walter Huston, John is known for directing several classic films including “The Maltese Falcon”, “The Asphalt Jungle”, “The Treasure of the Sierra Madre”, “Key Largo” and “The African Queen”. He is the father of actress Anjelica Huston and director Danny Huston. He portrays Faye Dunaway’s millionaire father, Noah Cross, in “Chinatown”. He relates the line during a cat-and-mouse dinner conversation with Jack Nicholson’s character, J J Gittes. J J Gittes believes that Cross is involved in a scandal and asks Cross how he can feel respectable if he’s involved in a water supply scandal. The entire line is “Of course I’m respectable. I’m old. Politicians, ugly buildings and whores all get respectable if they last long enough.” 

Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???  “A commanding officer doesn’t need brains, just a good loud voice.”

Friday’s Quizzler is….​
Do you know what this means?

Answer:  Across the Seven SeasA Cross (the ‘t’ shape)
The seven seas (sea is spelled seven times in that cross)

Monday’s Quizzler is…….Identify the fruits and vegetables from the following clues:
(Don’t assume that you know how part of a clue is pronounced. There may be more than one way!)
1. “Mom, may we please go outside? Will you please let us play? PLEASE! PLEASE!”
2. Another name for a taxi + the rings in a tree indicate what? = ___________________.
3. A pool stick + C + a burnt brownish color = ______________________.
4. Your mother pairs socks at the toes.
5. A drink + me + the end of the word “talon” = _____________________.

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in TUESDAY’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at,


CHECK THIS BOOK OUT online at, The Banquet Servers Hand Guide (Basic) eBook: Euclid Strayhorn: Kindle Store.​​​ ​​​ ​​​​​​​​​​​


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