Wednesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!


20 Lines to make you smile….
My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God and I didn’t.
I don’t suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.
I work hard because millions on Welfare depend on me!
I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
Don’t take life too seriously; No one ever gets out alive.
You’re just jealous because the voices only talk to me.
Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
I’m not a complete idiot… some parts are just missing.
Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
NyQuil: The stuffy, sneezy, why-the-heck-is-the-room-spinning medicine.
Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
Being “over the hill” is much better than being under it!
Wrinkled was not one of the things I wanted to be when I grew up.
Procrastinate Now!
“Actually, I have a degree in Liberal Arts, thanks for asking. Do you want fries with that?”
A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance.
Ham and eggs. A day’s work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a WONDERFUL WEDNESDAY people,
stay safe, and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁

q u o t e s o f t h e d a y

Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are a good person is a little like
expecting the bull not to attack you because you are a vegetarian. Dennis Wholey

As a child my family’s menu consisted of two
choices: take it or leave it. Buddy Hackett

It is a scientific fact that your body will not absorb
cholesterol if you take it from another person’s plate.
Dave Barry

Everyone has a purpose in life. Perhaps
yours is watching television. David Letterman

My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty.
She’s ninety-seven now, and we don’t know where the heck she is.
Ellen DeGeneres

I can’t understand why a person will take a year to write a novel
when he can easily buy one for a few dollars. Fred Allen

Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
As I was conditioning my hair in the shower this morning, I took time to read my shampoo bottle.
I am in shock! The shampoo I use in the shower that runs down my entire body says “for extra volume and body!”
Seriously, why have I not noticed this before?
Now I understand why I am so “full-figured”!
Tomorrow I am going to start using “Dawn” dish soap.
It says right on the label “dissolves fat that is otherwise difficult to remove.”
It pays to read the warning labels my friends! 😳

Tuesdays’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “
“I’m a good girl, I am.”

Answer: “My Fair Lady”
Audrey Hepburn plays Eliza Doolittle in the award winning 1964 film adaption of George Bernard Shaws’s play, “Pygmalion”. The film depicts the transformation of a Cockney gal into a society girl. When Rex Harrison’s character reminds Eliza of her birthplace in lower-class Lisson Grove she bursts into tears and cries “I’m a good girl, I am!” Julie Andrews played Eliza in the stage version. Jack Warner wanted a known star so Audrey Hepburn was cast in the movie adaptation. Hepburn’s vocals were dubbed in the musical numbers. At the time Andrews was not yet considered a box-office draw. Elizabeth Taylor reportedly also wanted the role. Belgium born Hepburn was a WWII occupation survivor who wanted to be a dancer. Because she was too tall she ended up acting. Her first starring role in a Hollywood film was with Gregory Peck in “Roman Holiday”.

Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???
“May I obey all of your commands with equal pleasure, sire.”

Tuesday’s Quizzler is….​
Can you complete this grid of letters? Each line is a valid 5 letter word with its first and last letters missing.
The missing letters form a word when read downwards and the same word appears both at the start and at the end. What is the missing word?


Answer: CLASH.

Wednesday’s Quizzler is…….
What common phrase is represented below?


LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in THURSDAY’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at,


CHECK THIS BOOK OUT online at, The Banquet Servers Hand Guide (Basic) eBook: Euclid Strayhorn: Kindle Store.
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