Wednesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!


Weights and Measures…..
★ Ratio of an igloo’s circumference to its diameter: Eskimo Pi
★ 2000 pounds of Chinese soup: Won ton
★ 1 millionth of a mouthwash: 1 microscope
★ Time between slipping on a peel and smacking the pavement: 1 bananosecond
★ Weight an evangelist carries with God: 1 billigram
★ Time it takes to sail 220 yards at 1 nautical mile per hour: Knot-furlong
★ 365.25 days of drinking low-calorie beer because it’s less filling: 1 lite year
★ 16.5 feet in the Twilight Zone: 1 Rod Serling
★ Half of a large intestine: 1 semicolon
★ 1000 aches: 1 kilohurtz
★ Basic unit of laryngitis: 1 hoarsepower
★ Shortest distance between two jokes: A straight line. (think about it for a moment)
★ 453.6 graham crackers: 1 pound cake
★ 1 million microphones: 1 megaphone
★ 1 million bicycles: 2 megacycles
★ 2000 mockingbirds: two kilomockingbirds (work on it….)
★ 10 cards: 1 decacards
★ 1 kilogram of falling figs: 1 Fig Newton
★ 1000 cubic centimeters of wet socks: 1 literhosen
★ 1 millionth of a fish: 1 microfiche
★ 1 trillion pins: 1 terrapin
★ 10 rations: 1 decoration
★ 100 rations: 1 C-ration
★ 2 monograms: 1 diagram
★ 8 nickels: 2 paradigms
★ 3 statute miles of intravenous surgical tubing at Yale University Hospital: 1 I.V. League

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a WONDERFUL WEDNESDAY people,
stay safe, and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁

q u o t e s o f t h e d a y

Never follow anyone else’s path. Unless you’re in the woods and
you’re lost and you see a path. Then by all means follow that path.”
—Ellen DeGeneres

“Insomnia sharpens your math skills because you spend all night
calculating how much sleep you’ll get if you’re able to ‘fall asleep right now.’”

“Breaking up is like knocking over a Coke machine. You can’t do it in
one push; you got to rock it back and forth a few times, and then it goes over.”
—Jerry (Jerry Seinfeld), Seinfeld

Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
I have been in many places, but I’ve never been in Cahoots. Apparently, you can’t go alone. You have to be in Cahoots with someone.
I’ve also never been in Cognito. I hear no one recognizes you there.
I have, however, been in Sane. They don’t have an airport; you have to be driven there. I have made several trips there, thanks to my children, friends, family and work.
I would like to go to Conclusions, but you have to jump, and I’m not too much on physical activity anymore.
I have also been in Doubt. That is a sad place to go and I try not to visit there too often.
I’ve been in Flexible, but only when it was very important to stand firm.
Sometimes I’m in Capable, and I go there more often as I’m getting older.
One of my favorite places to be is in Suspense! It really gets the adrenaline flowing and pumps up the old heart! At my age I need all the stimuli I can get!
I may have been in Continent, but I don’t remember what country I was in. It’s an age thing. They tell me it is very wet and damp there. 😳

Tuesdays’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “
“What happened to the warriors at Thermopylae?”
“Dead to the last man.”

Answer: The Last Samurai!
In the events leading up to this scene, decorated army hero Captain Nathan Algren (Tom Cruise) is hired in 1876 to train and modernize the Japanese army. However, while in Japan he comes to admire the fierce fighting spirit and sense of honor of samurai warriors, even though they only use swords and bows and arrows. He develops a relationship with samurai leader Katsumoto (Ken Watanabe) and tells him the story of how a small, vastly outnumbered army of Greeks held back a much larger Persian army for three days at the pass of Thermopylae in central Greece. In this scene just before the final climatic charge of the samurai army against the modern Japanese army, Katsumoto recalls this story and asks line one. Algren replies with line two. In the 2004 Academy Awards “The Last Samurai” was nominated for four awards but didn’t win any. The final climatic samurai charge is very reminiscent of the famous poem entitled “The Charge of the Light Brigade” by Alfred, Lord Tennyson (“Into the valley of death rode the six hundred…”). This poem was about a suicidal charge by mounted British forces in the battle of Balaclava (Ukraine) in the Crimean War (1854-56).

Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???
“I’m not sure I agree with you a hundred percent on your police work there, Lou.”

Tuesday’s Quizzler is….​
Beginning with the word “in,” add one letter from the given pool to create a new word until you get a
seven-letter word meaning “being in a state of suppressed agitation, worry, or resentment.”

Pool: T G E S W

1) IN

Answer: 1) IN
2) WIN

Wednesday’s Quizzler is…….
Eliminate all 26 letters of the alphabet in alphabetical order, but not necessarily starting with ‘A’, to reveal a sentence.


LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in THURSDAY’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at,


CHECK THIS BOOK OUT online at, The Banquet Servers Hand Guide (Basic) eBook: Euclid Strayhorn: Kindle Store.
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