Friday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!


Here’s the Story…
Sitting on the highway waiting to catch speeders, a state police officer saw a car puttering along at 22 M.P.H.
He thinks to himself, that car is just as dangerous as a speeder. So, he turns his lights on and pulls the car over.
Approaching the car, he notices there are 5 old ladies, two at the front and 3 at the back, wide eyed and looking like ghosts.
The driver obviously confused said, “Officer, I don’t understand, I wasn’t doing over the speed limit!, What seems to be the problem?”
“Ma’am,” the officer said, “you should know that driving slower than the speed limit can also be dangerous”.
“Slower than the speed limit? NO SIR! I was doing exactly 22 miles an hour”, the old woman said proudly.
The officer containing a chuckle explains that 22 was the route number, not the speed limit.
A bit embarrassed, the woman grinned, thanking the officer for pointing out her error.
“Before I go Ma’am, I have to ask, is everyone OK? These women seem badly shaken and haven’t uttered a word all this time” “Oh! they will be alright in a minute, Officer, we just got off Route 142.” 😳
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a GREAT WEEKEND people,
stay safe, and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁

q u o t e s o f t h e d a y

“Insomnia sharpens your math skills because you spend all night calculating
how much sleep you’ll get if you’re able to ‘fall asleep right now.’”

“Breaking up is like knocking over a Coke machine. You can’t do it in one push;
you got to rock it back and forth a few times, and then it goes over.”
—Jerry (Jerry Seinfeld), Seinfeld

“Someone asked me, if I were stranded on a desert island
what book would I bring: ‘How to Build a Boat.’”
—Steven Wright

“You know you’ve reached middle age when you’re cautioned
to slow down by your doctor, instead of by the police.”
—Joan Rivers

Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
Most seniors never get enough exercise. In His wisdom God decreed that seniors become forgetful
so they would have to search for their glasses, keys and other things thus doing more walking.
And God looked down and saw that it was good
Then God saw there was another need. In His wisdom He made seniors lose coordination so they
would drop things requiring them to bend, reach & stretch.
And God looked down and saw that it was good.
Then God considered the function of bladders and decided seniors would have additional calls of
nature requiring more trips to the bathroom, thus providing more exercise.
God looked down and saw that it was good.
So if you find as you age that you are getting up and down more, remember it’s Gods will. It is
all in your best interest even though you mutter under your breath. 😳

Thursdays’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “
“Mr. President! Wow! This is… what a pleasure. As you can imagine, they… they don’t let us out much.
“I can understand that.”

Answer: Independence Day!
In the events leading up to this scene a large alien mother ship is detected moving towards the earth. It later launches smaller ships to earth, which hover over all major cities around the world and then unleash death rays which destroy earth’s buildings. In this scene the plane Air Force One carrying U.S. President Thomas Whitmore (Bill Pullman), his family, and a few close advisors had just escaped Washington, DC and has landed at the secret military base in Nevada called Area 51. President Whitmore is introduced to the chief scientist Dr. Brackish Okun (Brent Spiner), who gushes line one. President Whitmore, looking uncomfortable, replies with line two. In the 1997 Academy Awards “Independence Day” won the Oscar for Best Visual Effects and was nominated for Best Sound (but lost to “The English Patient”). Great comic relief is provided by crop duster pilot Russell Casse (Randy Quaid), who claims to have been abducted by aliens years before (his neighbors ask him if there were any “sexual experiments”). In the final climatic battle, when a computer virus has disabled the spaceships’ defensive shield, Casse flies his plane inside the space ship while laughing, “Ha-ha-ha! Hello, boys! I’m back!”

Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???
“There was a moment when I used to blame everything and everyone for all the pain and suffering and vile things that happened to me, that I saw happen to my people. Used to blame everybody. Blamed white people, blamed society, blamed God. I didn’t get no answers ’cause I was asking the wrong questions. You have to ask the right questions.”
“Like what?”

Thursday’s Quizzler is….​
The letter S is added to pluralise most words in the English language.

eg Letter to Letters, Word to Words and Language to Languages

There is a word however that is pluralised with the addition of the letter C.

What is it?

Answer: Dice
A singular Die becomes Dice when pluralised.

Friday’s Quizzler is…….
Blade to blade I always win,
My foe laid low and even.
Yard by yard through thick and thin,
I’m busiest in season.

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in MONDAY’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at,


CHECK THIS BOOK OUT online at, The Banquet Servers Hand Guide (Basic) eBook: Euclid Strayhorn: Kindle Store.
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