Monday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!


Here’s the Story…
The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends. I mean, life is tough. It takes up a lot of your time.
What do you get in the end of it? Death. What’s that…a bonus? I think the life cycle is all backwards.

(1) You should die first, you know, start out dead, get it out of the way. You wake up in a an old age home, feeling better every day.

(2) You get kicked out for being too healthy, go collect your pension, then, when you start work, you get a gold watch on your first day.

(3) You work 40 years until you’re young enough to enjoy your retirement. You drink alcohol, you party, play golf, you’re generally
promiscuous (hey, you’ve only got a few years left, what’s the big deal?!?) and you get ready for High School.

(4) Then you go to primary school, you become a kid, you play, you have no responsibilities, and, finally, you become a baby;

(5) The last step, you spend your last 9 months floating peacefully with luxuries like central heating, spa, room service on tap, larger quarters everyday!

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a GREAT WEEKEND people,
stay safe, and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁

q u o t e s o f t h e d a y

“A Japanese company created a $150 noise-canceling ramen fork to cover up slurping noises.
So, if you’ve got 150 bucks to spend on a fork – why are you eating ramen?” -Jimmy Fallon

“A fast-food restaurant in Australia is celebrating Halloween by offering a hamburger in a blue bun,
sprinkled with real ants and worms. Or as Arby’s calls that, ‘The No. 6.'” -Conan O’Brien

“Amazon is introducing a new service called Amazon Key, which will allow delivery men to open your
front door and put packages directly inside your house. I don’t have a joke here. I just wanted to tell
you how you’re going to be murdered. Sleep tight, folks.” -James Corden

Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
My wife and I were going through a rough patch financially, but we kept ourselves sane by repeating,
“As long as we have each other, we don’t need anything else.”
But when the television in our bedroom broke and we couldn’t afford to repair or replace it, my wife lost it.
“That’s just great!” she shouted. “Now there’s no entertainment in our bedroom at all!” 😳😁😎

Fridays’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “
“There was a moment when I used to blame everything and everyone for all the pain and suffering and vile things that happened to me, that I saw happen to my people. Used to blame everybody. Blamed white people, blamed society, blamed God. I didn’t get no answers ’cause I was asking the wrong questions. You have to ask the right questions.”
“Like what?”

Answer: American History X
After white supremacist Derek Vinyard (Edward Norton) is sentenced to jail for killing several black men, he starts to rethink his life and how his little brother Danny (Edward Furlong) is being twisted like he was by local racist Cameron Alexander (Stacy Keach). In this scene high school principle Dr. Bob Sweeney (Avery Brooks) visits Derek in the prison infirmary after some fellow inmates brutalized him. They start talking about the meaning of life and Sweeney says line one. Derek asks him line two and Sweeney answers, “Has anything you’ve done made your life better?” In the 1999 Academy Awards Edward Norton was nominated for Best Actor in a Leading Role but lost to Roberto Benigni in “La Vita è bella.” In preparation for his role in “American History X,” Edward Norton gained 30 pounds of muscle.

Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???
“Please inform these men that the mess hall is closed.”
“But sir, it’s only a quarter ’til eight.”

Friday’s Quizzler is….​
Blade to blade I always win,
My foe laid low and even.
Yard by yard through thick and thin,
I’m busiest in season.

Answer: A lawn mower.
Explanation: It cuts blades of grass with its blade, leaving them low and even. It is used in home yards and is busiest in summer when grass grows fastest.
(Hint) You push and pull when cutting and generally stay in a straight course, and your lawn mower engine has a horsepower rating (like 3.5 horsepower).
Hope it was enjoyed more than mowing the yard!

Monday’s Quizzler is…….
I have two arms and a back,
Supported by four legs.
But there is something I do lack,
Actually, I have no eyes to see.

I also cannot move around,
Or at least, not on my own.
Unfortunately I can make no sound,
Except perhaps a squeak.

If you chop off my head,
You are left with a hair.
If you chop off my tail,
Only tea is left there.

One more clue I will add,
Is that you often use me.
Yet you barely ever notice,
In fact I’d much rather be a tree.

What am I?

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in TUESDAY’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at,


CHECK THIS BOOK OUT online at, The Banquet Servers Hand Guide (Basic) eBook: Euclid Strayhorn: Kindle Store.
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