Thursday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

WELCOME to THURSDAY DECEMBER 9, 2021

Things I’ve Learned from my Children…..

A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2,000 sq.ft. house 4 inches deep.

If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.

A 3-year-old’s voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.

If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound boy,
who is wearing Batman underwear and a superman cape. **It is strong enough, however, to spread paint on all fourwalls of a 20×20 ft. room.

You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using the ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.

The glass in windows {even double pane} doesn’t stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.

When you hear the toilet flush and the words “Uh-oh”, it’s already too late.

Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke… lots of it.

A six-year-old can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36 year old man says it only happens in the movies. A magnifying glass can start a fire even on an overcast day.

Certain Lego’s will pass through the digestive tract of a four-year-old.

PlayDoh and Microwave should never be used in the same sentence.

No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool, you still can’t walk on water.

Pool filters do not like Jell-O.

Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.

You probably do not want to know what that odor is.

The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earth worms dizzy. It will, however,
make cats dizzy! Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a GREAT THURSDAY people,
stay safe, and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁

q u o t e s o f t h e d a y

“The Pope visited a Buddhist country and made some controversial remarks. The worst was
when the Pope saw a statue of Buddha and said, ‘At least, MY God has abs.'” -Conan O’Brien

“Uber signed a deal with NASA on Wednesday to develop ‘Uber Elevate,’ a new type of Uber
that will use flying cars. They’re developing a flying Uber. And you thought you vomited
in the backseat of Ubers before.” -James Corden

“After facing backlash from customers, Subway says it will remove a chemical in its bread that
is also found in yoga mats. Some people were like, ‘You mean I’ve been eating a dangerous
chemical?’ While most people were like, ‘You mean I can eat my yoga mat?'” -Jimmy Fallon

Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
Two friends are discussing the possibility of love.
“I thought I was in love three times,” one friend says.
“How so?” his friend asks.
“Five years ago I deeply cared for a woman who wanted nothing to do with me.”
“And that wasn’t love?” his friend asks.
“No,” he replies. “That was obsession. Then two years ago I deeply cared for an attractive woman who didn’t understand me.”
“Was that love?”
“No,” he replies. “That was lust. And just last year I met a woman aboard a cruise ship to the Caribbean.
She was smart, funny, and a great conversationalist. And everywhere we met on that boat,
I would get this strange sensation in the pit of my stomach.”
“Was that love?” his friend asks.
“No,” he replies. “That was seasickness.” 😳

Wednesdays’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “
“Run behind the lines, Tom.”

Answer: Camelot!
The film of “Camelot” was adapted from the stage play and starred Richard Harris as Arthur, and Vanessa Redgrave as Guinevere. Lancelot was played by Franco Nero. A young Gary Marsh played the role of Tom of Warwick. Toward the end of the film, when King Arthur and Lancelot are preparing to fight the final battle, Arthur comes across a boy called Tom. Tom still believes in all the ideals of Camelot, and Arthur realises that, despite the way that things have gone so wrong, the boy is right and that the idea of the Round Table still matters. He sees that this boy could be the way of making sure that Camelot can go on being remembered – “that one brief, shining moment that was known as Camelot”. Arthur knights Tom, who becomes Sir Tom Malory of Warwick, and tells the boy to run behind the lines to safety.

Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???
“Why? Why this cruelty? You know I love him.”
“Then you’d better stop.”

Wednesday’s Quizzler is….​
Each of the following clues describes two words. One of the words is a type of fruit. The other word is that fruit with one of the following changes: a letter added anywhere (apple applet), a letter deleted anywhere (orange range), or a letter changed anywhere (cheery cherry). There is no rearrangement of the other letters. No fruit is used more than once.

1) This is a devilish fruit.
2) This is a crippled fruit.
3) This is a happy fruit.
4) This is a criminal fruit.
5) This is a large fruit.
6) This is a tardy fruit.
7) This is a sullen fruit.
8) This is an up-to-date fruit.
9) This is a handkerchief worn by a fruit.
10) This is a popular dance among fruit.
11) This is a complaint by a fruit.
12) This is a weapon used by a fruit.

Answer: 1) demon lemon
2) lame lime
3) merry berry
4) felon melon
5) big fig
6) late date
7) glum plum
8) current currant
9) banana bandana
10) mango tango
11) grape gripe
12) pear spear

Thursday’s Quizzler is…….
Here is a group of common three-letter words. Can you take these and turn them into half as many 6 letter words? Each three-letter word is used only once.

bar, bit, box, boy, car, day, den, dim, fly, hid, low, now, nut, pan, pea, sun, ten, try, win, wit

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in FRIDAY’S Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! 😎 Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

RECOMMENDED WEBSITE LINKS:
https://elisabethluxe.com., http://www.themuscleministry.com.

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