Wednesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

WELCOME to WEDNESDAY DECEMBER 15, 2021

MIDWEEK PUNAGRAPHY….
A bicycle can’t stand on its own because it is two-tired.
No matter how much you push the envelope, it will still be stationery.
A pessimist’s blood type is always B-negative.
Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a-salted.
Reading while sunbathing makes you well-red.
After hours of waiting for the bowling alley to open, we finally got the ball rolling.
Always trust a glue salesman. They tend to stick to their word.
Every calendar’s days are numbered.
A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.
If you don’t pay your exorcist, you will get repossessed.
One hundred hares have escaped the zoo, so police are combing the area.
Everyone thinks my runny nose is funny, but it’s snot.
Did you hear about the lumberjack who couldn’t hack it? They gave him the axe.
Jungle animals are very fair. Cheetahs are always spotted.
A short psychic broke out of jail. She was a small medium at large.

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a WONDERFUL WEDNESDAY people,
stay safe, and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁

q u o t e s o f t h e d a y

“The Pope visited a Buddhist country and made some controversial remarks. The worst
was when the Pope saw a statue of Buddha and said, ‘At least, MY God has abs.'” -Conan O’Brien

“Uber signed a deal with NASA on Wednesday to develop ‘Uber Elevate,’ a new type of Uber
that will use flying cars. They’re developing a flying Uber. And you thought you vomited in the
backseat of Ubers before.” -James Corden

“After facing backlash from customers, Subway says it will remove a chemical in its bread that is also
found in yoga mats. Some people were like, ‘You mean I’ve been eating a dangerous chemical?’
While most people were like, ‘You mean I can eat my yoga mat?'” -Jimmy Fallon

Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
In a small business office, they have an answering machine that instructs callers to leave their
name and address, and to spell any difficult words. Early one Monday the secretary was reviewing
the weekend messages and she heard an enthusiastic young woman recite her name and address
and then confidently offer, “My difficult word is reconciliation. R-E-C-O-N-C-I-L-I-A-T-I-O-N.” 😳

Tuesdays’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “
“Nowadays people want glamour and tears, the grand performance. I’ve never been good at that.”

Answer: The Queen!
“The Queen” (2006) focuses on the Royal family in the wake of the death of Diana, ex-wife of Prince Charles. It explains their reluctance to leave their Scottish home of Balmoral Castle, the pleas of the then Prime Minister, Tony Blair to get them to relent, and shows the public outpouring of grief over Diana’s death. Of particular note is the division between Elizabeth II and Prince Charles, with her Majesty determined the funeral be a private affair of “The Spencer’s”. Charles was equally adamant that, despite their divorce, as mother of the future King of England, she deserved better.

Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???
“When I sit, you sit. When I kneel, you kneel. Et cetera, et cetera, et cetera!”

Tuesday’s Quizzler is….​
P is to L.
M is to OK.
Hence, D is to _

Answer: RT, RTS, or RTED.
P is to L forms PISTOL.
M is to OK forms MISTOOK.
The only letters you can add to DISTO to form a word is RT, RTS, or RTED, forming DISTORT, DISTORTS, or DISTORTED.

Wednesday’s Quizzler is…….
The same five-letter word can be added to either the front or back, but not both, of the following
words to create four new words. Can you determine what the five-letter word’s identity is?

KEY
WALL
GEM
WASHED

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in THURSDAY’S Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! 😎 Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

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https://elisabethluxe.com., http://www.themuscleministry.com.

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