Monday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!


Here’s The Story…..
To all of my neighbors – I don’t mean to be a Grinch, however…. to those of you who are placing Christmas lights/decorations in your yards, would you please avoid anything that has RED or BLUE flashing lights together!! Every time I come around the corner in my neighborhood, I think it’s the police. I have to brake hard, toss my margarita out the window, fasten my seat belt, throw my phone on the floor, turn my radio down, and push the gun under the seat. All while trying to drive. It’s just too much drama, even for Christmas. Thank you for your cooperation and understanding. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a GREAT MONDAY people,
stay safe, and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁

q u o t e s o f t h e d a y

“A family in Florida took their Elf on the Shelf to the ER after their dog tore it apart, and the doctors
were able to save it. While the guy in the next room was like, ‘Don’t worry – my broken leg will
be just fine! You take care of that elf!'” -Jimmy Fallon

“Experts in Israel are trying to re-create a wine used in the time of Jesus. Apparently, all they
need is some water and Jesus.” -Conan O’Brien

“Some parenting experts are suggesting that the holiday tradition of the elf on the shelf may actually
be harmful to children. So instead just take them to the mall and let them sit on a weird old dude’s lap.” -Seth Meyers

Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
The pastor of our church began his sermon with this story:
“I was on a plane last week, from Chicago to California, when we ran into some very severe turbulence. As it got worse, the passengers became more and more alarmed, and even the flight attendants began to look concerned. Finally, one of them noticed that I had ‘Rev.’ in front of my name on the passenger list, came over to me, and said, ‘Sir, this is really frightening. Do you suppose you could, I don’t know…do something religious?'”
“So I took up a collection.” 😳

Fridays’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “
“It seemed like a good idea at the time.”
“Mr. Verger, you indicated that you’ve received some kind of new information.”

Answer: Hannibal!
This movie was the first sequel to the 1991 hit “The Silence of the Lambs.” In this scene rich Mason Verger (Gary Oldman) is explaining his horrible face disfigurement to FBI agent Clarice Starling (Julianne Moore). Verger had gone to see psychiatrist Dr. Hannibal Lecter (played wonderfully again by Anthony Hopkins) and while high on drugs was persuaded by Dr. Lecter to scrape off his face flesh with a piece of broken glass and feed it to dogs! Verger says line one and Clarice coolly replies with line two. Verger’s attempt at revenge is chilling. I’m not real fond of heights and the scene where Dr. Lecter throws Italian Inspector Renaldo Pazzi (Giancarlo Giannini) off a balcony (starting with the cheerful line, “Here we go!”) was pretty hard for me to take! This movie won several awards but no Oscars. The scenes of the luxurious mansion where Mason Verger lived were filmed at the Vanderbilt mansion (the Biltmore estate) in Asheville, North Carolina.

Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???
“Got that boys? Now he’s got his wife doing his fightin’ for him.”
“Yeah. Ain’t she something?”

Friday’s Quizzler is….​
I am bound in a book but you cannot read me,
I am struck and played but not musically,
I am your equal in skill and also in stature,
I am used in heat and light manufacture.

What am I?

Answer: A Match.
A book of matches.
You strike a match and can play in a match.
If someone is your match they can either look like you or be your equal in skill.
A match can make heat and light.

Monday’s Quizzler is…….
The following riddle was originally printed in 1867 in “London Society”.
On six feet, I am a noxious drink,
Of whose effects you shudder to think.
Change only my second foot, and then
You convert me into a horrible den
Where the culprit, who gave the noxious drink,
Awaits the fate of which you shudder to think.

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in TUESDAY’S Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! 😎 Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at,


CHECK THIS BOOK OUT online at, The Banquet Servers Hand Guide (Basic) eBook: Euclid Strayhorn: Kindle Store.
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