Wednesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

WELCOME to WEDNESDAY DECEMBER 22, 2021

Laughing Quotes……..

  1. [Humanity] has unquestionably one really effective weapon—laughter. Power, money, persuasion, supplication,
    persecution—these can lift at a colossal humbug—push it a little—weaken it a little, century by century, but only laughter
    can blow it to rags and atoms at a blast. Against the assault of laughter nothing can stand. — Mark Twain

2.A good laugh heals a lot of hurts. — Madeleine L’Engle

  1. A good laugh is a mighty good thing, a rather too scarce a good thing. — Herman Melville
  2. A good laugh is sunshine in the house. — William Thackeray
  3. A smile is a curve that sets everything straight. — Phyllis Diller
  4. A smile starts on the lips, a grin spreads to the eyes, a chuckle comes from the belly;
    but a good laugh bursts forth from the soul, overflows, and bubbles all around. — Carolyn Birmingham
  5. A well-balanced person is one who finds both sides of an issue laughable. — Herbert Procknow
  6. Against the assault of laughter, nothing can stand. — Mark Twain

9. Always laugh when you can. It is cheap medicine. — Lord Byron

  1. Among those whom I like or admire, I can find no common denominator, but among those whom I love, I can: all of them make me laugh. — W. H. Auden

11. An optimist laughs to forget; a pessimist forgets to laugh. — Tom Nansbury

12. And keep a sense of humor. It doesn’t mean you have to tell jokes. If you can’t think of anything else, when you’re my age, take off your clothes and walk in front of a mirror. I guarantee you’ll get a laugh. — Art Linkletter

13. And we should consider every day lost on which we have not danced at least once. And we should call every truth false which was not accompanied by at least one laugh. — Friedrich Nietzsche

14. As soap is to the body, so laughter is to the soul. — A Jewish Proverb

15. As soon as you have made a thought, laugh at it. — Lao Tsu

16. At the height of laughter, the universe is flung into a kaleidoscope of new possibilities. — Jean Houston

17. Cancer is probably the unfunniest thing in the world, but I’m a comedian, and even cancer couldn’t stop me from seeing the humor in what I went through. — Gilda Radner

18. Each of us has a spark of life inside us, and our highest endeavor ought to be to set off that spark in one another. — Kenny Ausubel

19. Earth laughs in flowers. — Ralph Waldo Emerson

20. Even the gods love jokes — Plato

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a WONDERFUL WEDNESDAY people,
stay safe, and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁

q u o t e s o f t h e d a y

“Do not judge me by my success, judge me by how many times
I fell down and got back up again.” —Nelson Mandela.

“If you can’t fly then run, if you can’t run then walk, if you can’t walk then crawl,
but whatever you do you have to keep moving forward.” —Martin Luther King, Jr.

“A brave man acknowledges
the strength of others.” —Veronica Roth.

“We need women who are so strong they can be gentle, so educated they can be humble,
so fierce they can be compassionate, so passionate they can be rational, and
so disciplined they can be free.” —Kavita Ramdas.

Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
A little old man shuffled slowly into an ice cream parlor
and pulled himself slowly, painfully, up onto a stool.
After catching his breath, he ordered a banana split.
The waitress asked kindly, “Crushed nuts?”
“No,” he replied, “arthritis. 😳

Tuesdays’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “
“Excuse me, what did you say?”
“Magua said he understands the English very well.”

Answer: The Last of the Mohicans!
This movie is set during The French and Indian War in 18th century North America. In the events leading up to this scene, Huron Indian scout Magua (Wes Studi) is leading a column of British soldiers, British Colonel Munro’s two daughters, and frontiersman Hawkeye (Daniel Day-Lewis) to Colonel Munro at Fort William Henry (Magua calls him “Grey Hair”). In this scene British Major Duncan Heyward (Steven Waddington) instructs Magua by saying, “You there, scout. We must rest soon, the women are tired.” Magua wants to stop further ahead where the water is better but he is overruled by Major Heyward. When a displeased Magua mutters in the Huron language (with subtitles), “Magua understands that the white man is a dog to his women. When they are tired, he puts down his tomahawk to feed their laziness.” Major Heyward says line one. Magua replies, this time in English, with line two. In the 1993 Academy Awards “The Last of the Mohicans” won the Oscar for Best Sound. The opening credits of this movie, superimposed on the Adirondack Mountains in NY, with the great theme music, is spectacular on a wide screen.

Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???
“Mr. Hallorann, what’s in room 237?”
“Nothin’. There ain’t nothin’ in room 237. But you ain’t got no business goin’ in there anyway. So stay out. You understand? Stay out.”

Tuesday’s Quizzler is….​
Welcome to the Missing Idioms language game! An idiom is a speech form or an expression of a given language that is peculiar to itself grammatically or, cannot be understood from the individual meanings of its elements, as in “keep tabs on”.

Below you will find 10 sentences, with the missing idiom in brackets, (…). To solve the game, you will need to complete each sentence with an idiom, but there is a twist to it. Each round you will be given a Main Clue and, all missing idioms must relate to it.

The Main Clue for this round is “Animals”, therefore all missing idioms must relate to animals. Good luck and enjoy!

  1. He shouldn’t (complain if a gift is not perfect) and should be happy that he got a present from her.
  2. The little boy kept asking many questions until his mother finally said (that wanting to find out so much about everything will get him into trouble).
  3. Please (be patient and wait) while I make a phone call. There is no need to rush into things.
  4. Their computer software patent is a (good source of money) for their company.
  5. The little boys thought that their friend was (easily frightened) because he wouldn’t play with the dog.
  6. The supervisor has a reputation for (watching and controlling, keeping a close eye on) the workers.
  7. When the police arrived, the two men looked frightened and suddenly (ran away from the scene).
  8. I heard about the plans for the new magazine article (directly from the person responsible).
  9. The car engine stopping while driving on the freeway was the (thing that finally made me decide to do something). Therefore, I sold the car.
  10. He (misjudged his chance of success) when he found an unreliable partner for his business.

Answer: Here are the missing idioms.

  1. look a gift horse in the mouth
  2. curiosity killed the cat
  3. hold your horses
  4. cash cow
  5. a scaredy-cat
  6. riding herd on
  7. turned tail
  8. straight from the horse’s mouth
  9. straw that broke the camel’s back
  10. bet on the wrong horse

Wednesday’s Quizzler is…….
Once upon a time, a couple centuries ago, in a cold, harsh winter, three men were about to be executed. It was customary in their land to feed everyone who is about to be executed a last meal, consisting of whatever they want.

So, the first man says, “I am an old, poor fellow, and my whole family was vegetarian except for me. Therefore, I would like to eat one last chicken before I die”. His wish was granted, but right when he finished the last bite, the executioner killed him on the spot.

The second man asks for a pie. “My family is extremely poor, and we have never had the money to buy sweets, or anything of any sort of delicacy. So before I die, I would like the chance to taste a pie, the food I have been dreaming about for years.”

The executioner agreed, but right when the poor man finished the last piece, he was also killed on the spot. Finally, it was the third man’s turn. Without even taking a second to think, he said “I would like some strawberries”. The executioner burst out laughing. “I’m sorry”, he sputtered, “I just can’t understand why you would want to eat STRAWBERRIES of all things right before you die. Out of all the delicious foods you could have picked, why strawberries?”

What was the third man’s reply which allowed him to live?

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in THURSDAY’S Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! 😎 Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

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