Friday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

WELCOME to FRIDAY DECEMBER 24, 2021

Christmas Punagraphy….
How do you wash your hands over the holiday? With Santatizer.
Why don’t you ever see Santa in a hospital? Because he has private elf care.
Why is Santa afraid of getting stuck in a chimney? He has Claus-trophobia.
Why does Santa have three gardens? So he can ho ho ho.
What does Santa do when his elves misbehave? He gives them the sack.
What do you call a kid who doesn’t believe in Santa? A rebel without a Claus.
What nationality is Santa Claus? North Polish.
How much did Santa pay for his sleigh? Nothing. It was on the house.
How can you tell that Santa is real? You can always sense his presents.
Why will Santa go down your chimney on Christmas Eve? Because it soots him.
If Santa and Mrs. Claus had a baby, what would he be? A subordinate Claus.
What does Santa spend his hard-earned salary on? Jingle bills.
What brand of motorcycle does Santa ride? Holly Davidson.
What goes “Oh Oh Oh”? Santa walking backwards.
Why does Santa have so many gardens? So he can hoe hoe hoe.

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a GREAT CHRISTMAS WEEKEND people,
stay safe, and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁

q u o t e s o f t h e d a y

“It didn’t matter how big our house was; it mattered that there was love in it.” — Peter Buffett
“Call it a clan, call it a network, call it a tribe, call it a family: Whatever you call it,
whoever you are, you need one.” — Jane Howard
“Family means nobody gets left behind or forgotten.” — David Ogden Stiers
“We may have our differences, but nothing’s more important than family.” –Coco
“The bond that links your true family is not one of blood, but of respect
and joy in each other’s life.” – Richard Bach
“A happy family is but an earlier heaven.” – George Bernard Shaw
“Being a family means you are a part of something very wonderful. It means
you will love and be loved for the rest of your life.” – Lisa Weed

Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
What do you get if you eat Christmas decorations? Tinsillitis!
What do you call a bunch of chess players bragging about their games in a hotel lobby? Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer.
What happened to the man who stole an Advent Calendar? He got 25 days.
What’s the most popular Christmas wine? “But I don’t like Brussels sprouts!”
How does Christmas Day end? With the letter Y!
What do you get when you combine a Christmas tree with an iPad? A pineapple.
Who is never hungry at Christmas? The turkey—he’s always stuffed.
I asked my wife what she wanted for Christmas. She told me that nothing would make her
happier than a diamond necklace. So I bought her nothing.
My friend just won the tallest Christmas tree competition. I thought to myself, ‘How can you top that?’
A gingerbread man went to the doctor’s complaining of a sore knee. The doctor asked him. “Have you tried icing it?”

Thursdays’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “
“Sport [a nickname], truth, like art, is in the eye of the beholder. You believe what you choose and I’ll believe what I know.”
“Good luck, Jim.”

Answer: Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil
This movie is based on a true story. In the events leading up to this scene, journalist John Kelso (John Cusack) travels to Savannah, Georgia, to write a feature article about the impressive Christmas party thrown each year by art and antiques collector Jim Williams (Kevin Spacey). After the party is over and just before Kelso heads home, Jim Williams shoots and kills his homosexual lover, Billy Carl Hanson (Jude Law), but claims it was self-defense. Kelso decides to stay for the trial, hoping there is a story in it he can write a book about. During the trial, Williams changes his story for his defense lawyer and is eventually found not guilty in a jury trial. In this scene (at the end of the movie) Kelso asks Williams what really happened. Williams (who calls Kelso “Sport”) replies with line one, and Kelso, realizing he’ll probably never know what really happened, replies with line two. This movie won one award but no Oscars. The luxurious mansion where Williams lived is Mercer House, which was originally built for the great-grandfather of Johnny Mercer (perhaps best known for writing the lyrics for the Academy Award-winning song “Moon River.”)

Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???
“We don’t care about money here.”
“Well, that’s because you have it.”

Thursday’s Quizzler is….
Can you find the word within a word for each set of clues listed below? The dashes beside each clue tell you how many letters are in the word you are to find. (ex. A young lion…in skin diving gear = ScubA)

A snooze…in a hiking bag: _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
An armed conflict…in one who lacks courage: _ _ _ _ _ _
A line of seats…in a king’s headdress:_ _ _ _ __
A brooch…in a statement of belief:_ _ _ _ _ _ __
A math term…in a fireman’s climbing apparatus:_ _ _ _ _ _

Answer: 1. KnapSACK

COwarD
CrowN
OpinION
LaddER

Friday’s Quizzler is…….
Welcome! My desk can be called the NICETIES PORT,
I know who comes and goes; I have ENTIRE OPTICS.

I often serve another role, not as a TIE INSPECTOR,
But as one who writes memos and NOTICES TRIPE.

My notes are complete, not just TOPIC ENTRIES,
I’m often asked for details and to RECITE POINTS.

Photocopier problems? I can help with TINT, RECOPIES,
I track expenses, I am who you bring RECEIPTS IN TO.

Who am I?

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in MONDAY’S Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! 😎 Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

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