WELCOME to THURSDAY DECEMBER 30, 2021
New Year’s Eve Punagraphy…
Q: Why do you need a jeweler on New Year’s Eve?
A: To ring in the New Year.
My New Year’s resolution is to stop hanging out with
people who ask me about my New Year’s resolutions.
Q: What did the little champagne bottle call his father?
Q: What’s a cow’s favorite holiday?
A: Moo Year’s Eve.
Q: Where can you find comedians on New Year’s Eve?
A: Waiting for the punch line.
Q: What do farmers give their wives at midnight on New Year’s Eve?
A: Hogs and kisses.
An optimist stays up until midnight to see the New Year in. A
pessimist stays up to make sure the old year leaves.
I see no need to make more New Year’s resolutions when the
ones already on the books aren’t being enforced.
Q: What do you call always wanting a date for New Year’s Eve?
A: Social Security.
Q: What’s a digital camera’s New Year’s resolution?
This New Year’s, I’m going to make a resolution I can
keep: no dieting all year long.
Abby New Year.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a GREAT THURSDAY people,
stay safe, and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁
q u o t e s o f t h e d a y
“I was thinking about Santa Claus. When you really think about it, this has to be the biggest, most
elaborate prank in the history of the world. It’s like we’re all in on a huge joke we’re playing on kids.
And eventually they figure it out and they start lying to their kids, too.” -Jimmy Kimmel
“Aren’t we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas? You know, the birth of Santa.” -Matt Groening
“There was an 11-hour power outage at the airport in Atlanta yesterday. And people were stranded
on the tarmac for six hours. Don’t worry, though, flight attendants came through every hour with a
thimble-size cup of room temperature water.” -Jimmy Fallon
Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
I’m a driving examiner for the state of Indiana, and while I was giving a road test to a young man,
he went through a red light without stopping. I told him that he had automatically failed the test.
We met up with his mother back at the office, and I explained what had happened. At first she was
speechless. Then she asked incredulously, “He ran a red light?”
“Yes,” I replied.
“Well,” persisted the mom, “how red was the light?” 😳
Wednesdays’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “
“Hey, Ryan, be careful what you shoot at. Most things in here don’t react too well to bullets.”
“Right. I have to be careful what I shoot at?”
Answer: The Hunt for Red October!
In this scene, Russian submarine captain Marko Ramius (Sean Connery) has successfully defected and has surrendered his technologically advanced submarine, Red October, to American commander Bart Mancuso (Scott Glenn). One of the Russian crewmembers does not react kindly to this defection and starts firing a gun at Ramius and American CIA analyst Jack Ryan (Alec Baldwin) in the missile room of Red October. Ramius is hit, gives his gun to Ryan and says line one to him. A sarcastic Ryan replies with line two. This was the first of several Tom Clancy novels involving the character Jack Ryan to be made into movies. In the 1991 Academy Awards “The Hunt for Red October” won one Oscar and was nominated but did not win in two more categories. Baldwin was the first actor to play the character of Jack Ryan in movies made from Tom Clancy stories. The next two were Harrison Ford in “Patriot Games” (1992), Harrison Ford again in “Clear and Present Danger” (1994) and Ben Affleck in “The Sum of All Fears” (2002).
Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???
“That boy is a P-I-G pig.”
“See if you can guess…what I am now.”
Wednesday’s Quizzler is….
In these Word Pyramids, the first letter is given to you (which is the first answer). Use the clues to build the pyramid to find the answer. In each consecutive answer, a letter is added to the previous answer. However, the answer letters might not be in the same order. Good Luck!!
Starting letter: S
- Chemical symbol for the synthetic transuranic element first produced by neutron irradiation of uranium in a thermonuclear explosion and now usually produced in the laboratory by irradiating plutonium and other elements.
- A division of an ocean or a large body of salt water partially enclosed by land
- Being the very one; identical.
- A southern constellation between Hydrus and Volans.
- The inside seam of a pant leg.
- A small group of advanced students in a college or graduate school engaged in original research or intensive study under the guidance of a professor who meets regularly with them to discuss their reports and findings.
- A country of northeast South America on the Atlantic Ocean.
First colonized by the British, the region was ceded to the Dutch in 1667 and became an autonomous
territory of the Netherlands in 1954. Full independence was achieved in 1975.
Thursday’s Quizzler is…….
When you curtail a word, you remove the last letter and still have a valid word. You will be given clues for the two words, longer word first.
Example: Begin -> Heavenly body
Answer: The words are Start and Star.
- Head and shoulders sculpture -> Large vehicle
- Vision -> Audibly let out breath from sorrow
- Idea; mental process -> However
- Unable to remember -> Create by hammering; counterfeit
- Something that happens -> Level; balanced
- Portion; divide -> Average or normal amount
- Light hit in golf -> Place in a location
- Light hit in baseball -> Small bread loaf
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in FRIDAY’S Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! 😎 Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
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