Monday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!


Here’s The Story…..
FBI agents conducted a raid of a psychiatric hospital in San Diego that was under investigation for medical insurance fraud.
After hours of reviewing thousands of medical records, the dozens of agents had worked up
quite an appetite. The agent in charge of the investigation called a nearby pizza parlor with delivery service to order a quick dinner for his colleagues.
The following telephone conversation took place and was recorded by the FBI because they were taping all conversations at the hospital:

Agent: Hello. I’d like to order 19 large pizzas and 67 cans of soda.

Pizza Man: And where would you like them delivered?
Agent: We’re over at the psychiatric hospital.

Pizza Man: The psychiatric hospital?
Agent: That’s right. I’m an FBI agent.

Pizza Man: You’re an FBI agent?
Agent: That’s correct. Just about everybody here is.

Pizza Man: And you’re at the psychiatric hospital?
Agent: That’s correct. And make sure you don’t go through the front doors. We have them locked. You’ll have to go around to the back service entrance to deliver the pizzas.

Pizza Man: And you say you’re all FBI agents?
Agent: That’s right. How soon can you have them here?

Pizza Man: Everyone at the psychiatric hospital is an FBI agent?
Agent: That’s right. We’ve been here all day and we’re starving.

Pizza Man: How are you going to pay for all of this?
Agent: I have my checkbook right here.

Pizza Man: And you’re all FBI agents?
Agent: That’s right. Everyone here is an FBI agent. Can you remember to bring the pizzas
and sodas to the service entrance in the rear? We have the front doors locked.
Pizza Man: I don’t think
so. Click 😳

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a GREAT MONDAY people,
stay safe, and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁

q u o t e s o f t h e d a y

“As he read, I fell in love the way you fall asleep:
slowly, and then all at once.” – John Green

“Loved you yesterday, love you still,
always have, always will.” – Elaine Davis

“I saw that you were perfect, and so I loved you.
Then I saw that you were not perfect and I
loved you even more.” – Angelita Lim

“I love you not only for what you are, but for what I am
when I am with you. I love you not only for what you have
made of yourself, but for what you are making of me. I love
you for the part of me that you bring out.” – Elizabeth Barrett Browning

“Thinking of you keeps me awake. Dreaming of you keeps
me asleep. Being with you keeps me alive.” – Unknown

“When I say I love you more, I don’t mean I love you more than you love me.
I mean I love you more than the bad days ahead of us, I love you more than
any fight we will ever have. I love you more than the distance between us,
I love you more than any obstacle that could try and come between us.
I love you the most.” – Unknown

Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
Some men in a pickup truck drove into a lumberyard. One of the men walked in the office and said, “We need some four-by-twos.”
The clerk asked, “You mean two-by-fours, don’t you?”
The man said, “I’ll go check,” and went back to the truck. He returned and said, “Yeah, I meant two-by-four.”
The clerk said, “All right. How long do you need them?” The customer paused for a minute and said, “I’d better go check.”
After a while, the customer returned to the office and said, “A long time. We’re gonna build a house.” 😳

Fridays’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “
“Christmas. Christmas dinner. Dinner means death. Death means carnage! Christmas means carnage! Christmas means carnage!”

Answer: Babe
A truly delightful movie which appeals to all ages, this line is spoken by Ferdinand the Duck – with a gulp.
It’s almost Christmas Day and he knows the fate of table birds on these occasions.

Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???
“Now it isn’t that I don’t like you, Susan, because, after all, in moments of quiet, I’m strangely drawn
toward you, but – well – there haven’t been any quiet moments.”

Friday’s Quizzler is….​
Alice came across a lion and a unicorn in a forest of forgetfulness. Those two are strange beings. The lion lies every Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday and the other days he speaks the truth. The unicorn lies on Thursdays, Fridays and Saturdays, however the other days of the week he speaks the truth.

Lion: Yesterday I was lying.
Unicorn: So was I.

On which day did they say that?

Answer: As there is no day when both of the beings would be lying, at least one of them must have spoken the truth. They both speak the truth only on Sunday. However, the Lion would then be lying in his statement, so it couldn’t be said on Sunday. So exactly one of them lied.

If the Unicorn was honest, then it would have to be Sunday – but previously we proved this wrong. Thus only the Lion spoke the truth when he met Alice on Thursday and spoke with the Unicorn about Wednesday.

Monday’s Quizzler is…….
It goes up, but at the same time goes down.
Up toward the sky, and down toward the ground.
It’s present tense and past tense too.
Come for a ride, just me and you.

What is it?

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in TUESDAY’S Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! 😎 Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at,


CHECK THIS BOOK OUT online at, The Banquet Servers Hand Guide (Basic) eBook: Euclid Strayhorn: Kindle Store.
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