Wednesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!


Summer Classes for Women at Your Local Adult Learning Centre
Note that due to the complexity and difficulty level of the subject area, class sizes will be limited to 5 women.

Class 1: Up in Winter, Down in Summer – How to Adjust a Thermostat Step by Step, with Slide Presentation. Meets 4 weeks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 pm

Class 2: Which Takes More Energy – Putting the Toilet Seat Down, or Moaning About It for 3 Hours?
Round Table Discussion. Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 for 2 hours.

Class 3: Is It Possible To Drive Past a Grocery store Without Stopping? – Group Debate.
Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 pm for 2 hours.

Class 4: Fundamental Differences Between a Handbag and a Suitcase – Pictures and Explanatory Graphics. Meets Saturdays at 2:00 pm for 3 weeks.

Class 5: Curling Irons – Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Bathroom Cabinet?
Examples on Video. Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning At 7:00 pm

Class 6: How to Ask Questions During Commercials and Be Quiet During the Program
Help Line Support and Support Groups. Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00 pm

Class 7: Can a Bath Be Taken Without 14 Different Kinds of Soaps and Shampoos?
Open Forum. Monday at 8:00 pm, 2 hours.

Class 8: I Was Wrong and He Was Right! Real Life Testimonials.
Tuesdays at 6:00 pm. Location to be determined.

Class 9: How to Parallel Park In Less Than 20 Minutes Without an Insurance Claim.
Driving Simulations. Meets 4 weeks, Saturday’s noon, 2 hours.

Class 10: Learning to Live: How to Apply Brakes Without Throwing Passengers Through the Windshield .
Tuesdays at 7:00 pm. Location to be determined

Class 11: How to Shop by Yourself.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 pm.
Upon completion of ANY of the above courses, diplomas will be issued to the survivors.

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a WONDERFUL WEDNESDAY people,
stay safe, and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁

q u o t e s o f t h e d a y

“Valentine’s Day was yesterday. So, if I look like I didn’t get much sleep,
it’s because the couch was really uncomfortable.” -Seth Meyers

“According to a new study, children who are spanked are twice as likely
as those that aren’t spanked to get into fights and destroy things which
is probably why they get spanked in the first place.” -Jimmy Kimmel

“The former president of Trader Joe’s is opening a store that sells only
expired food. The new store will be known as 7-Eleven.” -Conan O’Brien

Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
Millions of years ago, there was no such thing as the wheel. One day, some
primitive guys were watching their wives drag a dead mastodon to the food
& fire area. It was exhausting work; the guys were getting tired just watching.
Then they noticed some large, smooth, rounded boulders and they had a great
idea! They could sit on top of the boulders and get a better view of their wives working.
This was the first in a series of breakthroughs that ultimately led to television…
and later to the remote control. 😁

Tuesdays’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “
“I see dead people.”
“In your dreams?”

Answer: The Sixth Sense!
In this scene a troubled young boy, Cole Sear (Haley Joel Osment), is explaining his troubles to child psychiatrist Doctor Malcolm Crowe (Bruce Willis). When Cole says line one, Doctor Crowe asks line two. When Doctor Crowe asks “Dead people like in graves? In coffins?” Cole explains, “Walking around like regular people. They don’t see each other. They only see what they want to see. They don’t know they’re dead.” In the 2000 Academy Awards “The Sixth Sense” was nominated for six awards, including Best Picture (but lost to “American Beauty”). It won no Oscars but did win numerous other awards. This is one of those rare movies that was filmed in sequence, which is usually not a very practical way of making a movie.

Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???
“You’re late.”
“A wizard is never late. Nor is he early. He arrives precisely when he means to.”

Tuesday’s Quizzler is….​
A 3-letter word has been taken out of each of the following words. Can you figure it out?

_ _ IO C _ ER W _ H O _ _OR

Answer: RAT.

Wednesday’s Quizzler is…….
A heron caught a fish in his bill and was carrying it alive back to his nest. Worried about his own life,
the fish was thinking hard to find a way to free himself. Coming up with a bright idea, he then said to the heron, “Birdie, I’ve learned that you’re a smart bird, and I’m dying to know if it’s true. Can you do me a favor before I die? I will ask you one question. If your answer is right, take me to your home and feed your chicks. If it’s wrong, just eat me right now. But if it’s too hard for you to answer, then please set me free. Will you accept the bet?” The heron thought it was a sure win because even if he couldn’t find the answer, he’d just simply say something wrong. Either way the fish would die. So he agreed immediately. The fish then asked a simple question. The heron then realized that he would lose for sure. So he had to drop the smart fish back to the waters, having learned a good lesson.
What was the question that saved the fish’s life?

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in THURSDAY’S Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! 😎 Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at,


CHECK THIS BOOK OUT online at, The Banquet Servers Hand Guide (Basic) eBook: Euclid Strayhorn: Kindle Store.
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