Tuesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

WELCOME to TUESDAY MARCH 22, 2022

Here’s The Story…
Paresh, an Indian carpenter I once hired to help me restore my old
farmhouse had just finished a difficult and hard first day on the job. A
flat tire on his lorry made him lose an hour of work, his electric saw
packed in, and now his ancient pickup truck refused to start. While I drove him home, Paresh sat in stony, thoughtful silence.
On arriving, Paresh, in the way of all Indian gentlefolk, invited me in
to meet his family. As we walked toward the front door, he paused briefly at
a small tree, touching the tips of the branches with both hands.
When opening the door to his home, he underwent an amazing transformation. His
tanned face wreathed in smiles and he hugged his two small children and gave
his wife a kiss. After a cup of tea, he walked me to my car. We passed the tree and my
curiosity got the better of me. I asked him about what I had seen him do
earlier. ‘Oh, that’s my trouble tree,’ Paresh replied. ‘I know I can’t help having
troubles on the job, but one thing for sure, troubles don’t belong in the
house with my wife and the children. So I just hang them on the tree every
night when I come home. Then in the morning I pick them up again. Funny
thing is’, he smiled winningly, ‘when I come out in the morning to pick them
up, there aren’t nearly as many as I remember hanging up the night before.’
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a HAPPY TUESDAY people,
stay safe, and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁

q u o t e s o f t h e d a y

“Google has a new service called ‘Flights’ that is now able to predict flight delays.
How it works is, if you’re flying United, your flight’s delayed.” -Conan O’Brien

“In financial news, billionaire investor Warren Buffett is facing some criticism after
saying in a recent interview, ‘You will not be way happier if you double your net worth.’
Spoken like someone who has $90 billion. But he is partially right. Happiness does not
come from net worth. It comes from the things you can BUY because of your net worth.” -James Corden

“If you clean the receipts out of your purse or wallet and stack them
all together, it makes a tiny book about why you’re broke.”

Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He’s not breathing
and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls 911.
“I think my friend is dead!” he yells. “What can I do?”
The operator says, “Calm down. First, let’s make sure he’s dead.”
There’s silence, then a shot. Back on the phone, the guy says, “Okay, now what?”😳

Mondays’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “
“Leave it to me. In ten days I’ll have us at war with them and make it look like their fault!”
“George, you’re mad! You’re absolutely out of your mind!”

Answer: Patton!
In this scene General George S. Patton Jr. (George C. Scott) is called away from having his portrait painted, for a phone call from Major General Walter Bedell Smith (Ed Binns). General Smith, referring to statements Patton made as reported in a recent newspaper article, says “Ike is furious. How could you compare Republicans and Democrats to the Nazi Party?” Then the conversation changes to the Russians. Patton, who does not like the Russians, says line one. An incredulous General Smith responds with line two. This movie follows extremely talented but very complex American General George S. Patton, Jr. (George C. Scott) through his WWII days. He was a brilliant tank tactician at the leading edge of tank strategy but identified with the ancient past (“God, how I hate the twentieth century.”). He was very religious but swore a blue streak. In the 1971 Academy Awards “Patton” won seven Oscars, including Best Picture. George C. Scott initially turned down the role of Patton but then reconsidered when he realized it would be a great acting challenge. He won the Oscar for Best Actor but refused to accept it.

Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???
“That’s the bedroom, but nothing ever happened in there.”
“What a crime”

Monday’s Quizzler is….​
Based on the clue in parentheses, find a four-letter word that can be inserted backwards into the blank to complete a longer word.

Example: di____ve (a defeat)
Answer: dissolve (“A defeat” gives you LOSS, which is placed backwards in the blank: di_SSOL_ve.)

  1. s____ing (profound, extreme, or intense)
  2. si____ll (inspired by a feeling of reverence)
  3. re____ed (draw with force)
  4. s____hot (to extend over)

ANSWER: 1. speeding (DEEP – s_PEED_ing)

  1. sidewall (AWED – si_DEWA_ll)
  2. regarded (DRAG – re_GARD_ed)
  3. snapshot (SPAN – s_NAPS_hot)

Tuesday’s Quizzler is…….
Can you figure out this rebus?

doCTOR

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in WEDNESDAY’S Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! 😎 Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

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