WELCOME to TUESDAY APRIL 12, 2022
Differences between men and women (REPOST)
If Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara go out for lunch, they will call each other Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara.
If Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head and Scrappy.
- EATING OUT
When the bill arrives, Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom will each throw in a $20, even though it’s only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.
When the women get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn’t need, but it’s on sale.
A man has five items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from the Marriott.
The average number of items in the typical woman’s bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify most of these items.
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything (ANYTHING!) a man says after that… is the beginning of a new argument.
Women love cats.
Men say they love cats, but when women aren’t looking, men kick cats.😁
- DRESSING UP
A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the garbage, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.
A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn’t.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won’t change, and she does. (INDEED!)
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a HAPPY TUESDAY! people,
stay safe, and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁
q u o t e s o f t h e d a y
A donkey had an IQ of 186. He had no friends at all though. Because
even in the animal kingdom, nobody likes a smart-ass.
You can tell a lot about a woman’s mood by looking at her hands. For
example; if she’s holding a handgun, she is probably angry.
The little boy wasn’t getting good marks in school. One day he made the
teacher quite surprised. He tapped her on the shoulder and said, “I don’t
want to scare you, but my daddy says if I don’t get better grades,
somebody is going to get a spanking.”😁
Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
Mothers come in all shapes and sizes. For example, an Italian Mother might chastise
her offspring for not eating by saying, “Eat your dinner, or I’ll kill you.”
A Jewish Mother on the other hand would say, “Eat your dinner, or I’ll kill myself.” 😳
Mondays’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “
“I’ve cleaned up this city. Have you forgotten my slogan? “Nihil expectore in omnibus” – no spitting on the public transport.”
Answer: Julius Caesar!
Released in 1964, this was the tenth in the “Carry On” series. With Kenneth Williams as Emperor Julius Caesar, Sid James as Mark Antony and Amanda Barrie as Cleopatra, the film has little or no regard for historical accuracy. Another well known quote from the film is “Infamy! Infamy! They’ve all got it in for me!” Spoken by Kenneth Williams this has often been described as the “all time funniest one liner in a film”.
Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???
“We’re in the cellar and you’re going back to prison and my life is wasted and we’ve lost each other..and you’re smiling.”
Monday’s Quizzler is….
Listo, the leader of a band of assassins, was taken captive by an opposing kingdom. “Give your daggers,” said one of the generals, “Or you are to be executed. But since you killed so many of our knights, we shall give you a small test. You must say a statement. If the statement is true, we burn you on a stake. If the sentence is false, we stab you through the heart. If you do not say anything, you are thrown to the lions. If you say something we can’t verify, you will be forced to drink a cup of hemlock. If it is not a statement or if it is a paradox, we simply toss you into the nearby volcano. We shall give you one hour to ponder.”
What should Listo say?
ANSWER: “Here are my daggers!”
Tuesday’s Quizzler is…….
What does this mean?
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in WEDNESDAY’S Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! 😎 Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
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