Monday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

WELCOME to MONDAY APRIL 18, 2022

A. A. A. D. D. – Classic Retirement Syndrome

Recently, I was diagnosed with A. A. A. D. D. – Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder.
This is how it manifests itself:

I decide to water my garden. As I turn on the hose in the driveway, I look over at my car and decide my car needs washing. As I start toward the garage, I notice that there is mail on the porch table that I brought up from the mail box earlier.
I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car. I lay my car keys down on the table, put the junk mail in the rubbish bin under the table, and notice that the bin is full.
So, I decide to put the bills back on the table and take out the rubbish first.
But then I think, since I’m going to be near the mailbox when I take out the garbage anyway, I may as well pay the bills first.
I take my check book off the table, and see that there is only one check left. My extra cheques are in my desk in the study, so I go inside the house to my desk where I find the can of coke that I had been drinking.

I’m going to look for my checks, but first I need to push the coke aside so that I don’t accidentally knock it over. I see that the coke is getting warm, and I decide I should put it in the refrigerator to keep it cold. As I head toward the kitchen with the coke, a vase of flowers on the counter catches my eye: they need to be watered I place the coke down on the work surface, and I discover my reading glasses that I’ve been searching for all morning.
I decide I better put them back on my desk, but first I’m going to water the flowers.
I set the glasses back down on the work top, fill a container with water and suddenly I spot the TV
remote. Someone has left it on the kitchen table.

I realise that tonight when we go to watch TV, I will be looking for the remote, but I won’t remember that it’s on the kitchen table, so I decide to put it back in the lounge where it belongs, but first I’ll water the flowers. I pour some water in the flowers, but quite a bit of it spills
on the floor. So, I set the remote back down on the table, get some towels and wipe up the spill.
Then, I head down the hall trying to remember what I was planning to do.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a GREAT MONDAY! people,
stay safe, and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁

q u o t e s o f t h e d a y

Flu season is behind us, allergy season is here. It’s nice to see
people in L.A. allergic to something other than
gluten for a change.” -Jimmy Kimmel

“A new report did not name New York City as one of the 25 best
places to live in the country. ‘I’m shocked!’ said an adult
New Yorker with six roommates.” -Seth Meyers

Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
During his physical, a doctor asked his patient about his daily activity level.
The man said, “Well, yesterday afternoon, I waded along the edge of a lake,
drank eight beers, escaped from wild dogs in the heavy brush, jumped away
from an aggressive rattlesnake, marched up and down several hills, stood in
a patch of poison ivy, crawled out of quicksand and took four leaks behind big trees.”
Impressed by the story, the doctor said, “You must be one hell of an outdoors man!”
“Outdoorsman nothing,” replied the man, “I’m just a lousy golfer.” 😳

Fridays’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “
“You’re a brave man. Go and break through the lines. And remember, while you’re out there risking your life and
limb through shot and shell, we’ll be in here thinking what a sucker you are.”?

Answer: Duck Soup!
As well as the anarchic Marx Brothers, “Duck Soup” (1933) stars the wonderful Margaret Dumont, who plays Mrs Gloria Teasdale, a wealthy widow, who financially supports the bankrupt Freedonia. She insists that Rufus T Firefly, played by Groucho, be made ruler. Meanwhile the neighbouring country, Sylvania, wants to take over and enlists the incompetent support of the other Marx brothers. As diplomacy, unsurprisingly, fails the two countries go to war in some of the funniest battle scenes ever seen on film. “Duck Soup” ends with Mrs Teasdale singing the national athem of Freedonia, while the brothers pelt her with fruit. This film was not initially a financial success and had mixed reviews, but is now regarded as one of the best Marx Brothers films made.

Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???
“You must forgive me if I seem a little slow, but it’s a bit early in the day to see double. Even for me.”

Friday’s Quizzler is….​
What advice is shown below?

BEETROOT
YEETROOT
YOETROOT
YOUTROOT
YOURROOT
YOURSOOT
YOURSEOT
YOURSELT
YOURSELF

ANSWER: Be true to yourself.
BEETROOT to YOURSELF (sound it out)

Monday’s Quizzler is…….
1: flawed
2: not flawed
1: flawed
3: not flawed
1: flawed
4: not flawed
1: flawed
5: not flawed

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in TUESDAY’S Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! 😎 Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

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