WELCOME to MONDAY MAY 16, 2022
Here’s The Story…
A man just returned from traveling around the USA for a year. He had a lot of stories to tell.
Here is one of them. It seems he was looking for a bank and stopped to ask directions.
The man he asked replied “Just drive down this road about 5 miles and then turn left at the Stop n Go.”
He drove 5 miles, then 6, then 7. At about 10 miles down he stopped for directions again. The man
he asked replied, “Just go back down this road about 5 miles and turn right at the Stop n Go”
He headed out again but still had no luck. When he got back to where he had started, he stopped again. When he asked for directions, the answer was exactly the same. This time Jim asked, “Could you describe the Stop n Go for me?” The man gave him a funny look and said “It’s on a pole. It’s got a red light on the top, a Green light on the bottom…” That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a GREAT MONDAY! people, stay safe, and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁
q u o t e s o f t h e d a y
“A woman in Colorado was cited for property damage after she used a 7-Eleven
microwave to heat up a urine sample, and it exploded. The 7-Eleven owner was
like, ‘Lady, if you wanted hot urine, you could’ve just poured yourself a coffee.'” -Jimmy Fallon
“A New Hampshire man who went hiking and was reported missing by his wife now
owes the government thousands of dollars for the search effort, because when they
found him, he had been staying in a luxury hotel. He has to pay thousands of dollars and that’s just for eating the macadamia nuts from the mini-bar.” -James Corden
“Einstein Bros. Bagels shop is now serving mac and cheese bagels. So if you love
bagels, and you love mac and cheese, I hope you have a great personality.” -Seth Meyers
Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
My ten-month-old was sitting in her high chair, twisting and moving all over the place.
My wife who was trying to feed her said to me, “Straighten her up.”
I looked at my daughter and said, “What are you doing with your life? Do you want to
be this way forever? It’s time to grow up and take some responsibility.”
My wife hasn’t asked me to help with her since. 😳
Fridays’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “
“Why would she want some snotty, disobedient kid?”
Matilda’s parents told this to her in the movie, ‘Matilda’. Matilda wanted to stay with Ms. Honey because of the way her parents and brother had been treating her all through her life. This movie was about a girl who wanted to go to school, but her parents would not let her. But her dad met the principal of the school and found out that she was very strict, so he told Matilda to go to that school. The principal hated every student, and if someone made her mad, they would have had to go to the chokey. The chokey was something that the bad people sat in, which had a lot of huge needles coming in it.
Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???
“You think that they are one thing and then they turn out to be the exact opposite.”
Friday’s Quizzler is….
What does the following represent?
Answer: An Elbow. It’s a bow, made up of “EL’s”.
Monday’s Quizzler is…….
Emperor Akbar once ruled over India. He was a wise and intelligent ruler, and he had in his court the Nine Gems, his nine advisors, who were each known for a particular skill. One of these Gems was Birbal, known for his wit and wisdom. The story below is one of the examples of his wit. Do you have it in you to find out the answer?
There was once a blacksmith who used to make spears and shields. He came to Emperor Akbar’s court and claimed – “Your Majesty, nobody can make shields and spears like mine. My shields are so strong that nothing can pierce them and my spears are so sharp that there is nothing they cannot pierce.”
On hearing this statement, Birbal immediately said, “You lie and I can prove that you are lying.” What did he find wrong with the man’s statement?
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in TUESDAY’S Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! 😎 Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
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