Monday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

WELCOME to MONDAY JUNE 13, 2022

Here’s The Story…
Five surgeons are having drinks together at a surgical convention and making jokes…
The first, a Florida surgeon, says: “I like to see accountants on my operating table,
because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered.”
The second, a Michigan surgeon, responds: “Yeah, but you should try electricians.
Everything inside of them is color coded.”
The third, a California surgeon, says: “No, I really think librarians are the best;
everything inside of them is in alphabetical order.”
The fourth, an New York surgeon, chimes in: “You know, I like construction workers.
Those guys always understand when you have a few parts left over.”
But the fifth, from Washington D.C. shut them all up when he observed, “You’re all wrong.
Politicians are the easiest to operate on. There’s no guts, no heart, no brains, no spine,
and the head and the bottoms are interchangeable.”
That’s my Story and I’m sticking to it! Have a GREAT MONDAY! people,
stay safe, and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁

q u o t e s o f t h e d a y

“Last week, a 90-year-old letter to Santa Claus was found in a chimney. On the
bright side, the 96-year-old who wrote the letter is still alive
and finally got that tricycle.” -Conan O’Brien

“Italian chefs recently set a new world record after making a mile-long pizza that
took five ovens and over 11 hours to bake. It got weird when the person who
ordered the pizza was like, ‘Ooh, I said no pepperoni.'” -Jimmy Fallon

“Here’s some strange fashion news. According to The New York Times, the monocle
is back in style. Unless you’re a Batman villain or a giant salted peanut,
you should not wear a monocle.” -Jimmy Kimmel

Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
While at a marine-supply store stocking up on equipment for my boat, I also
purchased an inflatable life preserver. “It was my wife’s idea,” I explained to
the grizzled salesman at the counter. “She’s buying it for me as a gift.”
“Lucky you,” he said as he started to write up the order. “My wife got me a
length of chain and a cement block.” 😳

Fridays’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “
“Group W is where they putcha if you may not be moral enough to join the army after committin’ your special crime. There was all kinds of mean, nasty ugly-lookin’ people on the bench there.”

Answer: Alice’s Restuarant!
The scene for this quote takes place as Arlo tells Alice (Pat Quinn) and Ray (James Broderick) about what happened when he showed up for his induction interview for the army. He had been asked if he had ever been arrested by one of the officers. When he told them yes, and the reason why, he was sent to a section for questionable candidates called Group W. The irony is that Arlo had been arrested for littering…and creating a nuisance, yet he was viewed on the same level as the hard core criminals in Group W.

Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???
“Protecting the Queen’s safety is a task that is gladly accepted by the police squad. No matter how silly the idea of having a queen might be to us, as Americans, we must be gracious and considerate hosts.”

Friday’s Quizzler is….​
When you behead a word, you remove the first letter and still have a valid word. You will be given clues for the two words, longer word first.
Example: Begin -> Sour, acidic
Answer: The words are Start and Tart.

  1. Long depression between heights -> Narrow passage between walls
  2. Selling -> Ceasing; conclusion
  3. Spew out -> Leave out
  4. Justify; show to be blameless -> Point out
  5. Moral weakness -> Frozen water
  6. Personal guarantee -> Expression of pain
  7. Making a promise -> Due for payment
  8. Boast; self-praise -> Female relative Answer: 1. Valley -> Alley
  9. Vending -> Ending
  10. Vomit -> Omit
  11. Vindicate -> Indicate
  12. Vice -> Ice
  13. Vouch -> Ouch
  14. Vowing -> Owing
  15. Vaunt -> Aunt

Monday’s Quizzler is…….
When you were in your early school years, you can remember when you had a CRUSH on that cute girl sitting nearby. The only problem comes when you say something stupid and she SLAPS your face. Try to get from CRUSH to SLAPS in 5 steps by making a word each time.

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in TUESDAY’S Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! 😎 Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

RECOMMENDED WEBSITE LINKS:
https://elisabethluxe.com., http://www.themuscleministry.com.

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