Friday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

WELCOME to THURSDAY JULY 22, 2022

2021 EMPLOYEE REPORT RESULTS…
“Since my last report, this employee has reached rock bottom and has started to dig.”
“I would not allow this employee to breed.”
“Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap.”
“He would be out of his depth in a parking lot puddle.”
“This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.”
“This employee should go far, and the sooner he starts, the better.”
“I would like to go hunting with him sometime.”
“He brings a lot of joy whenever he leaves the room.”
“When his I.Q. reaches 50, he should sell.”
“If you see two people talking and one looks bored, he’s the other one.”
“Donated his brain to science before he was done using it.”
“If he were any more stupid, he’d have to be watered twice a week.”
“If you gave him a penny for his thoughts, you’d get change.”
“If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean.”
“Takes him two hours to watch 60 Minutes.”
“The wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead.”
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a GREAT WEEKEND people, stay safe, and whatever
you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁

q u o t e s o f t h e d a y

“Change is the law of life, and those who look only
to the past and present are certain to miss the future” -John F. Kennedy

“The measure of intelligence is the
ability to change” -Albert Einstein

“If you can’t fly, then run. If you can’t run, then walk. If you can’t walk,
then crawl. But whatever you do, you have to
keep moving forward” -Martin Luther King Jr.

“If I’d asked my customers what they wanted, they’d
have said ‘Don’t change anything.’” -Henry Ford

“Change will not come if we wait for some other person or some other time.
We are the ones we’ve been waiting for. We are the change that we seek.” -Barack Obama

“I alone cannot change the world, but I can cast a stone across
the waters to create many ripples.” -Mother Teresa

“Change is inevitable. Growth is
optional.” -John C. Maxwell

Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
A young college girl came running in tears to her father.
“Dad, you gave me some terrible financial advice!” she cried.
“I did? What did I tell you?” said the dad.
“You told me to put my money in that big bank, and now that big bank is in trouble.”
“What are you talking about? That’s one of the largest banks in the world,”
he said. “Surely there must be some mistake.”
“I don’t think so,” she sniffed. “They just returned one of my checks
with a note saying, ‘Insufficient Funds’.” 😳

Thursday’s’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “
“Walking around like regular people. They don’t see each other. They only see what they want to see. They don’t know they’re dead.”
“How often do you see them?”
“All the time.”

Answer: The Sixth Sense!
Noted psychologist Malcolm Crowe was shot by a patient whom he had failed to help. Now he has a chance to redeem himself by helping a second young boy who suffers from the same affliction…he sees dead people. This exchange takes place between Crowe and his young patient, fairly early on in their professional relationship, when they are getting to know each other. It also turns out to be rather prophetic. Bruce Willis and Haley Joel Osment starred under M. Night Shyamalan’s direction.

Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???
“The United States Government just asked us to save the world. Anybody wanna say no?”

Thursday’s Quizzler is….​
Fill in the sentence below so that the first two words combine to make the third word. For example, given “The prime minister _ the meeting, even though the was technically the ___ official,” you would fill in RAN, KING, and RANKING.

I _ so to his antics that I am no longer __ by them.

Answer: I AM so USED to his antics that I am no longer AMUSED by them.

Friday’s Quizzler is…….
In honor of the astounding popularity of the Harry Potter books and movies, I thought I would attempt to challenge your knowledge of this very enjoyable series.

Good luck and I hope you have as much fun solving this teaser as I had in creating it!

  1. The opposite of bald + a person who works with clay, a wheel and a kiln?
  2. A large domesticated pig + an “old wives tale” that if you play with frogs, you will get __?
  3. A common saying at bed time, “It’s time to hit the ?” + an aid that is sometimes used in solving a logic teaser with numerous clues is called a logic __?
  4. The opposite of smart + a round dish used to eat soup or cereal + what a person opens at an entryway?
  5. A determined person is sometimes called______? + the color of coal is _?
  6. A mythological creature with the head and wings of an eagle and the body of a lion + what a person opens at an entryway?
  7. The name of a bird of ill omen + the sharp, curved structure at the end of the toe of a mammal is called a __?
  8. The possessive form of she + not you, but ? + the opposite of off is ? + an association of farmers founded in the United States in 1867 + r?
  9. To make (a person) insane + what is used to row a boat?
  10. Directions on a prescription bottle, “To be taken twice __?” + a person whom the will of God is expressed through?

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in MONDAY’S Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! 😎 Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

RECOMMENDED WEBSITE LINKS:
https://elisabethluxe.com., http://www.themuscleministry.com.

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