Monday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

WELCOME to MONDAY JULY 25, 2022

Here’s The Story….
Rosie Hall buys a self-assembly, flat-pack, cupboard from her local
Homebase store. Reaching home Rosie reads the instructions carefully, counts the pieces
then assembles the cupboard in the bedroom. It looks really great and she is
delighted. Now, Rosie lives near a railway line and as the train passes by the
cupboard collapses. Undaunted by this misfortune she re-reads the
instructions and reassembles the cupboard. Once more, another train passes
and the whole cupboard collapses again. Rosie now frustrated and thinking that she must have done something “wrong” re-re-reads the instructions and re-re-assembles the cupboard.
Shortly, a train passes and the whole cupboard collapses yet again for the
3rd time.

Rosie is now fed up, cross and rather angry so she ‘phones the customer
service department. She is told that this is quite impossible and that
they’ll send along a fitter to take a look. The fitter arrives and assembles the cupboard. Again, a train passes and the cupboard collapses. Completely baffled by this unexpected event, the
fitter decides to reassemble the cupboard and sit inside it to see whether
he can find out what causes the cupboard to collapse. At this point,
Rosie’s husband comes home, sees the cupboard and says, ‘Oh, that’s a
splendid looking cupboard,’ and he opens it to look inside. The fitter, who had been wondering how to explain his position in Rosie’s bedroom cupboard, blurts out, ‘You probably won’t believe me, but I’m standing here waiting for a train.’ That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a GREAT MONDAY people, stay safe, and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁

q u o t e s o f t h e d a y

“Expedia released their rankings of the most annoying drivers in America. For the
15th year in a row, the most annoying driver on the road is every driver but you.
The survey says the least popular passengers are backseat drivers.
I would have said carjackers.” -Jimmy Kimmel

“A restaurant in China forces customers to solve complex math problems before
they can order their meal. The restaurant has no plans to
expand to the United States.” -Conan O’Brien

“New documents reveal that when Vincent Van Gogh cut off his ear, the woman
he sent it to was a cleaner, not a prostitute as previously thought. You know,
because otherwise it would have been weird.” -Jimmy Fallon

Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
A man went to see his doctor to go over his blood work results. As soon as he
entered the office, the doctor said to him, “I just looked at your results.
You’re lucky that you came in to see me today…”
The man suddenly became nervous and asked, “Why? What’s wrong with my blood work?”
“Oh nothing! It’s just that I’ll be out of the office tomorrow,” replied the doctor. 😳

Friday’s’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “
“The United States Government just asked us to save the world. Anybody wanna say no?”

Answer: Armageddon!
A huge asteroid (about the size of Texas) is hurtling towards the Earth, threatening to put an end to all life as we know it. The only way to prevent a collision is to land on the asteroid, drill into its core, and explode a nuclear device to divert its path. A team of world class oil drillers is hired to teach astronauts the procedures, but it is soon decided that there isn’t enough time to teach them properly, and the oil drilling team goes up instead.
Bruce Willis, Billy Bob Thorton, Ben Affleck and Liv Tyler starred under Michael Bay’s direction.

Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???
“I’ll make dinner.”
“I cook the dinners around here.”
“Sorry, not familiar with the outlaw code.”

Friday’s Quizzler is….​
In honor of the astounding popularity of the Harry Potter books and movies, I thought I would attempt to challenge your knowledge of this very enjoyable series.

Good luck and I hope you have as much fun solving this teaser as I had in creating it!

  1. The opposite of bald + a person who works with clay, a wheel and a kiln?
  2. A large domesticated pig + an “old wives tale” that if you play with frogs, you will get __?
  3. A common saying at bed time, “It’s time to hit the ?” + an aid that is sometimes used in solving a logic teaser with numerous clues is called a logic __?
  4. The opposite of smart + a round dish used to eat soup or cereal + what a person opens at an entryway?
  5. A determined person is sometimes called______? + the color of coal is _?
  6. A mythological creature with the head and wings of an eagle and the body of a lion + what a person opens at an entryway?
  7. The name of a bird of ill omen + the sharp, curved structure at the end of the toe of a mammal is called a __?
  8. The possessive form of she + not you, but ? + the opposite of off is ? + an association of farmers founded in the United States in 1867 + r?
  9. To make (a person) insane + what is used to row a boat?
  10. Directions on a prescription bottle, “To be taken twice __?” + a person whom the will of God is expressed through?

Answer: 1. Harry Potter (hairy + potter)

  1. Hogwarts (hog + warts)
  2. Hagrid (hay + grid)
  3. Dumbledore (dumb + bowl + door)
  4. Sirius Black (serious + black)
  5. Gryffindor (griffin + door)
  6. Ravenclaw (raven + claw)
  7. Hermione Granger (her + me + on + grange + r)
  8. Dementors (dement + oars)
  9. Daily Prophet (daily + prophet)

Monday’s Quizzler is…….
The doctor said “I think Seaman Jones will have to wait as I am to
do the operation as there is
.”

Exchange the stars with the same seven letters in the same order in each case.

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in TUESDAY’S Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! 😎 Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

RECOMMENDED WEBSITE LINKS:
https://elisabethluxe.com., http://www.themuscleministry.com.

CHECK THIS BOOK OUT online at https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07FF669PT/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1531337765&sr=1-1&keywords=The+Banquet+Servers+Hand+Guide#, Amazon.com: The Banquet Servers Hand Guide (Basic) eBook: Euclid Strayhorn: Kindle Store.
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