Wednesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

WELCOME to WEDNESDAY JULY 27, 2022

FUNNY Sayings…
Learning is not compulsory… neither is survival.
The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
Laughter is inner jogging.
The hardness of butter is directly proportional to the softness of the bread.
Nostalgia isn’t what it used to be.
How many of you believe in telekinesis? Raise my hand…
Like its politicians and its wars, society has the teenagers it deserves.
I feel like I’m diagonally parked in a parallel universe.
Love may be blind but marriage is a real eye-opener.
I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.
If at first you don’t succeed, then skydiving isn’t for you.
If at first you don’t succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how popular it remains?
Eagles may soar, but weasels don’t get sucked into jet engines.
A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.
You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be
misquoted, then used against you.
To succeed in politics, it is often necessary to rise above your principles.
A day without sunshine is like, night.
42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a WONDERFUL WEDNESDAY people, stay safe, and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁

q u o t e s o f t h e d a y

Love the moment. Flowers grow out of dark moments. Therefore,
each moment is vital. It affects the whole. Life is a succession
of such moments and to live each is to succeed. Corita Kent

Your time is limited, don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t
be trapped by dogma, which is living the result of other people’s thinking.
Don’t let the noise of other’s opinion drowned your own inner voice.
And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition,
they somehow already know what you truly want to become. Steve Jobs

You have not lived today until you have done something
for someone who can never repay you. John Bunyan

The trouble with not having a goal is that you can spend your life
running up and down the field and never score. Bill Copeland

Don’t allow your past or present condition to control you. It’s just a
process that you’re going through to get you to the next level.
T.D Jakes

Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
As the lone female in our house, I find that certain male habits have really
begun to get on my nerves. One day, I emerged from the bathroom
completely exasperated when I bumped into my husband.
“What is it with guys that they won’t replace the toilet paper?!” I raged.
“I know,” he said, nodding in agreement. “I noticed that when I was in there earlier.” 😳

Tuesday’s’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “
“I’ll make dinner.”
“I cook the dinners around here.”
“Sorry, not familiar with the outlaw code.”

Answer: Bandits!
After breaking out of prison, Joe Blake and his hypochondriac partner, Terry Lee Collins, become known as the “Sleepover Bandits” because of their pattern of holding bank managers hostage overnight, and robbing their banks the next day. When they kidnap a young, bored housewife, she refuses to leave, and before too long they find that they’re both in love with her. This exchange is early in their relationship, when her presence and desire to fit in is driving the hypochondriac crazy.
Barry Levinson directed Cate Blanchett, Billy Bob Thorton and Bruce Willis in this very funny movie.

Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???
“When do I learn how to drive?”
“When you’re sixteen.”
“When do I get a car?”
“When you’re eighteen.”

Tuesday’s Quizzler is….​
The doctor said “I think Seaman Jones will have to wait as I am to do the operation as there is .”

Exchange the stars with the same seven letters in the same order in each case.

Answer: The notable doctor said “I think not, Able Seaman Jones will have to wait as I am not able to do the operation as there is no table.”

Wednesday’s Quizzler is…….
Three Paley brothers and three Thomson brothers operate a company that manufactures lie detectors. Three of these six men always tell the truth, and three always tell lies; neither set of brothers consists exclusively of liars. Some recent statements from the six men are recorded below. Can you find the six men’s full names, and tell which men tell the truth and which tell lies?

  1. Alan: “Both my brothers tell lies.”
  2. Boris: “Both my brothers tell the truth.”
    3: Chuck: “Alan and Boris are both liars.”
  3. Dalman: “Chuck and I are brothers.”
  4. Edwin: “Boris and I are brothers.”
  5. Finney: “Edwin tells the truth.”
  6. Finney: “Boris is one of the Paleys.”

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in WEDNESDAY’S Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! 😎 Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

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