WELCOME to MONDAY AUGUST 8, 2022
“Why did the old woman fall into the well?”
“Because she couldn’t see that well.”
“Well I’m sure everybody here already knows about Murphy’s Law…but you guys
probably don’t know about Cole’s law, am I right?” “What’s Cole’s Law?” “It’s thinly
sliced cabbage. Sometimes it has vinaigrette or mayonnaise.”
“I didn’t know my dad was a construction site thief,
but when I got home all the signs were there.”
“I’ll never forget my grandfather’s last words to me before he kicked the bucket.
He looked me in the eyes and said, ‘Son, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?'”
“My grandfather had the heart of a lion and a lifetime
ban from the Central Park Zoo.”
“It’s always hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs because
they’re always taking things literally.”
“How do you find Will Smith in a snowstorm?”
“Look for the fresh prints.”
“Studies show that women who carry extra weight
live longer than men who bring it up.”
“What’s the difference between ignorance and
apathy?” “I don’t know and I don’t care.”
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a GREAT MONDAY!
people, stay safe, and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁
q u o t e s o f t h e d a y
“The USDA has issued a health alert over premade salads and wraps sold at Walgreens due to
concerns they may be contaminated with an intestinal parasite. So, if you’re buying your
meals at Walgreens, I have even more bad news.” -Seth Meyers
“Apple is close to becoming the first U.S. company worth over $1 trillion. Then Americans
looked at their drawers filled with old iPods, and said, ‘Yep. Seems about right.'” -Jimmy Fallon
“Recently, couples in Montana competed in the first ever Rocky Mountain Wife Carrying Championship. This is a competition where husbands carry their wives on their backs through an obstacle course. The obstacles included a mud pit, a median wall, and a dirt ramp, although most of the couples failed at the final challenge, which was agreeing on a place for dinner.” -James Corden
Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
A real woman is a man’s best friend. She will never stand him up and never let him down. She will
reassure him when he feels insecure and comfort him after a bad day. She will inspire him to do things he never thought he could do; to live without fear and forget regret. She will enable him to express his deepest emotions and give in to his most intimate desires. She will make sure he always feels as though he’s the most handsome man in the room and will enable him to be the most confident, sexy, seductive and invincible man alive. No wait…sorry. I am thinking of scotch. It’s scotch that does all that. 😳
Friday’s’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “
“Seeing as how the V.P. is such a V.I.P., shouldn’t we keep the P.C. on the Q.T.? ‘Cause of the leaks to the V.C. he could end up M.I.A., and then we’d all be put out in K.P.”
Answer: Good Morning Vietnam!
Lt. Steven Hauk and Adrian Cronauer were discussing the upcoming press conference with Vice President Nixon. Let’s see – V.P. – Vice President; V.I.P. – Very important person; M.I.A. – Missing in action. K.P. – Kitchen patrol? Okay, so I’m lost after that. Robin Williams picked up an Oscar nomination for his role of Adrian Cronauer in this movie. I loved the “Goooood Morning Vietnam!”
Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???
“Hello. My name is Leonard Lowe. It has been explained to me that I’ve been away for a long time. I’m back.”
Friday’s Quizzler is….
What is represented below?
Monday’s Quizzler is…….
Can you identify what phrase is represented here?
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in TUESDAY’S Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! 😎 Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
CHECK THIS BOOK OUT online at https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07FF669PT/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1531337765&sr=1-1&keywords=The+Banquet+Servers+Hand+Guide#, Amazon.com: The Banquet Servers Hand Guide (Basic) eBook: Euclid Strayhorn: Kindle Store.