WELCOME to TUESDAY AUGUST 16, 2022
Once upPUN a time… Part TWO…
A doctor made it his regular habit to stop off at a bar for a hazelnut daiquiri on his way home.
The bartender knew of his habit, and would always have the drink waiting at precisely 5:03 p.m.
One afternoon, as the end of the work day approached, the bartender was dismayed to find that
he was out of hazelnut extract. Thinking quickly, he threw together a daiquiri made with hickory nuts
and set it on the bar. The doctor came in at his regular time, took one sip of the drink and exclaimed,
“This isn’t a hazelnut daiquiri!” “No, I’m sorry,” replied the bartender, “it’s a hickory daiquiri, doc.”
A hungry lion was roaming through the jungle looking for something to eat. He came across two men. One was sitting under a tree and reading a book; the other was typing away on his typewriter. The lion quickly pounced on the man reading the book and devoured him. Even the king of the jungle knows that readers digest and writers cramp.
There was a man who entered a local paper’s pun contest. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope
that at least one of the puns would win. Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
A guy goes to a psychiatrist. “Doc, I keep having these alternating recurring dreams. First I’m a tepee;
then I’m a wigwam; then I’m a tepee; then I’m a wigwam. It’s driving me crazy. What’s wrong with me?” The doctor replies: “It’s very simple. You’re two tents.”
A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named “Amal.” The other goes to a family in Spain; they name him “Juan.” Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his mom. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Amal. Her husband responds, “But they are twins – if you’ve seen Juan, you’ve seen Amal.”
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a HAPPY TUESDAY!
people, stay safe, and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁
q u o t e s o f t h e d a y
“Nintendo fans are worried about Mario’s brother, Luigi, because in a trailer
for a new game, he appears as a ghost. They said 30 years of jumping ‘groin-first’
into a flagpole must’ve finally caught up to him.” -Jimmy Fallon
“A beach near San Francisco yesterday hosted the annual world dog surfing championships.
And just like last year, the surfers had a really hard time staying on their dogs.” -Seth Meyers
“A man in Florida was recently arrested after running into a liquor store with a live alligator and
chasing people who were shopping there. I’m just going to say it: This emotional support
animal thing has officially gone too far.” -James Corden
Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
A teenage boy is getting ready to take his girlfriend to the prom. First he goes to rent a tux,
but there’s a long tux line at the shop and it takes forever. Next, he has to get some flowers,
so he heads over to the florist and there’s a huge flower line there. He waits forever but eventually gets the flowers. Then he heads out to rent a limo. Unfortunately, there’s a large limo line at the rental office, but he’s patient and gets the job done. Finally, the day of the prom comes. The two are dancing happily and his girlfriend is having a great time. When the song is over, she asks him to get her some punch, so he heads over to the punch table and there’s no punchline.😳
Monday’s’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “
“You have a girl. Unless I cut the wrong cord.”
Answer: Nine Months!
Hugh Grant and Julianne Moore are having their first baby and unfortunately the wacky Dr. Kosevich is performing the duties of the OB GYN. Oh my gosh, they are in trouble! The only thing Dr. Kosevich is good at delivering is his jokes. Robin Williams plays the role of the wacky doctor in this movie.
Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???
“O Captain, my Captain. Who knows where that comes from? Anybody? Not a clue? It’s from a poem by Walt Whitman about Mr. Abraham Lincoln. Now in this class you can either call me Mr. Keating, or if you’re slightly more daring, O Captain my Captain.”
Monday’s Quizzler is….
The phrase “From the heart” has been known to bring thoughts of love and passion to many. However, if you rearrange the 12 letters, you can come up with two 6 letter words that are opposite of each other, but also bring about thoughts of love and passion to many. What are those two words?
Answer: FATHER & MOTHER
Tuesday’s Quizzler is…….
I am one simple word, but I mean different things
One of my meanings brings great forceful swings,
The other of me, may have curve, like the first…
But only one meaning can help quench a thirst.
One of my meanings will often bring cheers,
Either of them could hold a few beers.
What word am I?
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in WEDNESDAY’S Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! 😎 Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
CHECK THIS BOOK OUT online at https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07FF669PT/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1531337765&sr=1-1&keywords=The+Banquet+Servers+Hand+Guide#, Amazon.com: The Banquet Servers Hand Guide (Basic) eBook: Euclid Strayhorn: Kindle Store.