Thursday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

WELCOME to THURSDAY SEPTEMBER 15, 2022

Farm Animal Punagraphy..
Don’t feel sheepish if you don’t know many puns yet.
Catch up with these udderly great farm animal puns.

A horse is a very stable animal.

If you hear it from the horse’s mouth, you’re listening to a neigh-sayer.

After the horse ate all of his hay, he had a baleful look about him.

One horse said to another, “Your pace is familiar, but I don’t remember the mane.”

The farmer bought a donkey because he thought he might get a kick out of it.

The best way to stop a charging bull is to take away his credit card.

It’s no fun telling jokes to cattle; they’ve herd it all.

Why was the goose jealous of the sheep? Her husband kept saying “I love ewe.”

The pig got out again, but don’t worry — I tractor down.

Why did the calf need to go to bed? Her mother told her it was pasture bedtime.

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a GREAT THURSDAY people, stay safe, and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁

q u o t e s o f t h e d a y

“Did you hear about the college student in Canada who emailed everyone at his school
named Nicole, Nicky, Nicolette, and Nik trying to find the woman he met at a bar. Meanwhile
the actual woman was like, ‘Phew! Thank God I gave him a fake name!'” -Jimmy Fallon

“A study has found that some people can suffer symptoms of withdrawal when they are
forced to stay away from social media sites. This is why I’m not even on Facebook. I update
my high school yearbook manually, with a pen.” -Jimmy Kimmel

“It was announced today the most common vegetable that toddlers eat is French fries.
Or as my brain processed this story: A study has confirmed that French fries are a vegetable.
I ate two plates of vegetables today. I’m joking. You cannot just eat French fries. You have
got to eat other vegetables. You know; onion rings, loaded potato skins, carrot cake.” -James Corden

Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
My wife is a very adventurous cook. “How does this sound?” she called out from
the kitchen. “Bonito, surimi, and anchovies in a decadent, silky broth.”
“Sounds delicious,” I hollered back. “Is that what we’re having tonight?”
“No. I’m reading from this packet of cat food.” 😳

Wednesday’s’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “
“This guy was killed in an auto accident, I looked it up. He was driving in the Yukon, in a pink convertible, to visit his brother who’s an ex-con named Frances, when a tractor-trailer comes along and decapitates him. You know what that means? It means he doesn’t have a head. How am I supposed to write for a guy who doesn’t have a head? He’s got no lips…no vocal cords!”

Answer: Soapdish!
This funny movie reveals the back-stabbing and conniving that goes on backstage at a popular, long-running, daytime soap opera. This outburst occurs when the show’s writer has been told to re-introduce a character who’d left the show several years before. Sally Field, Kevin Kline, Whoopi Goldberg and Robert Downey Jr. starred under Michael Hoffman’s direction.

Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???
“This is only two hunderd. We was promised five.”
“For killing him, five. For wounding him, two.”
“You wanted me to shoot him, so I shot him.”
“You woke him up. What good is that?”

Wednesday’s Quizzler is….
Find five words that contain the letters “LOVE” – in order, with no extra letters between. A clue is given for each word.
e.g.
CLUE: darling
WORD: beLOVEd
[But these words have little if anything to do with romance.]
The hint gives the number of letters for each word.
CLUES:

Useful spice (whole or ground)
It is known as the “crocodile bird” in Egypt
Scruffy, bedraggled and slobbish!
Wearing fingered hand coverings
Type of sweater

Answer: 1. clove

plover
slovenly
gloved
pullover

Thursday’s Quizzler is…….
Each pair of definitions is for two words, where the second word is the first word with a letter deleted (example: brand & band). The length of the first word in each pair is provided, along with the position of the deleted letter to obtain the second word.

1) something absurd or ridiculous (5 letters) & (delete 4th letter) money paid for transportation
2) a type of fruit (6 letters) & (delete 1st letter) a place for shooting practice
3) a dead body (6 letters) & (delete 3rd letter) a thicket of small trees or shrubs
4) to chew loudly (5 letters) & (delete 3rd letter) a great amount or quantity

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in FRIDAY’S Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! 😎 Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

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