Monday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

WELCOME to MONDAY SEPTEMBER 19, 2022

Here’s The Story…
This old lady handed her bank card to the teller and said, “I would like to withdraw $10”.
The teller told her, “For withdrawals less than $100, please use the ATM.”
The old lady wanted to know why. The teller returned her bank card and irritably told her,
“These are the rules, please leave if there is no further matter. There is a line of customers behind you”. The old lady remained silent for a few seconds and handed her card back to the teller and said, “Please help me withdraw all the money I have.” The teller was astonished when she checked the account balance. She nodded her head, leaned down and respectfully told her, “You have $300,000 in your account, but the bank doesn’t have that much cash currently. Could you make an appointment and come back again tomorrow?” The old lady then asked how much she could withdraw immediately. The teller told her any amount up to $3000.
“Well, please let me have $3000 now.” The teller, very kindly and with a smile, handed $3000 to her.
The old lady put $10 in her purse and asked the teller to deposit $2990 back into her account.
The moral of this story is…Don’t be difficult with old people, they spent a lifetime learning the skill.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a GREAT WEEKEND people, stay safe,
and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁

q u o t e s o f t h e d a y

Don’t judge each day by the harvest you reap but by
the seeds that you plant. -Robert Louis Stevenson

The future belongs to those who believe in the
beauty of their dreams. -Eleanor Roosevelt

Tell me and I forget. Teach me and I remember.
Involve me and I learn. -Benjamin Franklin

The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be
seen or even touched — they must be felt with the heart. -Helen Keller

It is during our darkest moments that we must
focus to see the light. -Aristotle

Whoever is happy will make others
happy too. -Anne Frank

Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is
no path and leave a trail. -Ralph Waldo Emerson

Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
A fellow’s wife went missing and being that everyone knew that he and his wife were in a big
fight he was accused of murdering her and disposing of the body. When witness after witness
came to the stand testifying to all sorts of horrible threats that the accused threatened his wife
and things were looking quite dim for the accused the man’s lawyer got up to the stand. “Ladies
and Gentleman of the jury I have something quite exciting to tell you, if you would all please direct
your attention towards the door behind me on my left you will see the supposedly dead women walk
in on her own two feet.” There was a loud murmuring in the courtroom as all eyes turned towards the
door. “Ladies and Gentleman” said the lawyer after a few seconds of anxious waiting, “To be honest
with you, Nobody is going to be walking through the door, however from the fact that your eyes all
turned towards the door it is quite obvious that you are not sure beyond the shadow of a doubt about my client’s guilt.” To the lawyer’s great surprise, the jury decided that the man was guilty. “But how could you say that he is guilty? Didn’t I prove it to you?” Questioned the lawyer. “It is true that we all turned towards the door,” one old lady explained, “but there was person who didn’t.” “Whose that?” Questioned the indignant lawyer. “Your client.” Came the reply. 😳

Friday’s’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “
“I don’t know what they taught you in France, but rude and interesting are not the same thing.”

Answer: French Kiss!
Kate is absolutely terrified of flying, but when she finds out that her fiancé has found a new love in France, she is determined to go and win him back. Her seatmate on the plane is a sometimes charming, sometimes obnoxious Frenchman, who manages to take her mind off of her fears. Unfortunately he also uses her to help him smuggle stolen jewels past customs, which guarantees that they will continue their bizarre relationship once they land. Of course they fall in love. This exchange takes place early in their relationship, before she realizes that his gruff exterior hides the heart of an injured little boy. Kevin Kline, Meg Ryan and Timothy Hutton star under Lawrence Kasdan’s direction.

Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???
Laura picked up the phone, dialed the police and said, “Come quickly. I’ve just shot an intruder”.

Friday’s Quizzler is….​
In each sentence a word is concealed, such as the word no in sentence five. If you can
find the buried words and read them in order from 1 to 6, they will form a well-known proverb.

1.The word buried here has only one letter.
2.Did you find a jelly roll in Gaskin’s Bakery?
3.It’s the best one I’ve ever seen.
4.The rug at her stairway was made in India.
5.He’s an old friend.
6.Amos sold his bicycle to a friend.
Answer: A rolling stone gathers no moss.

Monday’s Quizzler is…….
What is this rebus?

NOSE
your money
CHIN

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in TUESDAY’S Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! 😎 Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

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