WELCOME to FRIDAY SEPTEMBER 23, 2022
Finally, my winter fat is gone. Now I have spring rolls.
Why did the banana go to the doctor? He wasn’t peeling well.
Why did the Viking buy a boat? There was a sail.
Why did the Viking buy a secondhand boat? He couldn’t a fjord a new one.
Butterflies just aren’t what they used to be.
A bossy man walks into a bar. He orders everyone a round.
Alcohol won’t fix your problems, but it’s worth a shot.
Whoever invented zero, thanks for nothing.
Vin Diesel starts his day with not one but two meals. Breakfast and breakfurious.
I burned my Hawaiian pizza. I should have used aloha temperature.
Buying a belt that doesn’t fit is a huge waist.
What happens after you eat alphabet soup? You have a vowel movement.
Why did the computer need a rest after its road trip? He had a hard drive.
How do you cut an ocean in half? With a sea-saw.
I tried to phone the ladder company, but it just rung and rung.
Dad, can you tell me what a solar eclipse is? No sun.
Did you hear about the ATM that got addicted to money? It suffered from withdrawal symptoms.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a GREAT WEEKEND people, stay safe,
and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁
q u o t e s o f t h e d a y
“My mama always said, life is like a box of chocolates.
You never know what you’re gonna get.” — Forrest Gump
“Watch your thoughts; they become words. Watch your words; they become
actions. Watch your actions; they become habits. Watch your habits; they
become character. Watch your character; it becomes your destiny.”— Lao-Tze
“When we do the best, we can, we never know what miracle is
wrought in our life or the life of another.” — Helen Keller
“The healthiest response to
life is joy.” — Deepak Chopra
“Life is like a coin. You can spend it any way you wish,
but you only spend it once.” — Lillian Dickson
Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
In the British documentary 56 Up, a man shared that he had earned a law
degree at Oxford. Then, in his thick English accent, he proudly
proclaimed that he was now a “barrister.”
My 13-year-old daughter wasn’t impressed. “So,” she said, “he spent all
that effort getting an Oxford law degree, and now he works at Starbucks?” 😳
Thursday’s’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “
“I don’t know, but she’ll be there by 10:30 tomorrow morning.”
Answer: Runaway Bride!
As Maggie ditches Ike at the alter, she runs up to the Fed Ex truck and rides away from another ex soon-to-be-groom. I felt so sorry for Ike, I mean, he was engaged to her a whole week at the most? Poor guy! Hector, who played Fisher, delivers this comical line to his wife, who was played by Rita Wilson.
Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???
“Do they teach beauty queens how to apologize?”
Thursday’s Quizzler is….
What classic western phrase is represented by this?
Answer: This town ain’t big enough for the both of us.
The words “The both of us” do not entirely fit into the words “This town.”
“This Town” isn’t large enough for “The both of us.”
Friday’s Quizzler is…….
Each of the following clues describes two words. One of the words is a type of fish. The other word is that fish with one of the following changes: a letter added anywhere (eel reel), a letter deleted anywhere (carp cap), a letter changed anywhere (shark spark). There is no rearrangement of the other letters. No fish is used more than once.
1) This is a metallic fish.
2) This is a medical fish.
3) This is a frozen fish.
4) This is a fish that removes chaff from grain.
5) This is a fish that sinks.
6) This is a musical instrument that is played by a fish in a marching band.
7) This is clothing for a fish.
8) This is what you get when you cross a fish with a dog.
9) This is where a fish can drink liquor.
10) This is a long scarf worn by a fish.
11) This is a jogging gait of a fish.
12) This is a cart for a fish.
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in MONDAY’S Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! 😎 Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
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