WELCOME to TUESDAY SEPTEMBER 27, 2022
Here’s The Story….
Two small county judges both got arrested for speeding on the same day. Rather than
call the state Supreme Court for a visiting judge, each agreed to hear the other’s case.
The first judge took the bench while the second stood at the defendant’s table, and admitted
his guilt. The sentencing judge immediately suspended both the fine and costs.
They switched places. The second judge admitted that he was speeding, too. Thereupon the
first judge immediately fined him $250 and ordered him to pay court costs.
The second judge was furious. “I suspended your fine and costs, but you threw the book at me!”
he fumed. The first judge looked at him and replied, “This is the second such case we’ve had in
here today. Someone has to get tough about all this speeding!”
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a HAPPY TUESDAY people, stay safe,
and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁
q u o t e s o f t h e d a y
“Psychologists now believe that adulthood begins at 25, not 18. They also
believe that middle age begins the first time you
eat at a Denny’s while sober.” -Conan O’Brien
“A team of scientists recently completed an experiment studying the effects
of the drug MDMA on octopuses. Which is part of a bigger experiment of
what happens when you give scientists LSD.” -Seth Meyers
Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
Frequent hand washing in my job as a medical technologist and the harsh weather combined give me very dry skin. One night as I prepared for bed, I rubbed my hands with petroleum jelly and covered them with an old pair of white gloves. As I sat in bed reading a book with my gloves on, my husband finished showering and came into the room wearing a towel. Drying himself off, he went to the closet, selected a tie and put it on. “What are you doing?” I asked.
“Well” he replied, “if you are going to be formal. So am I.” 😳
Monday’s’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “
“Kiki? Kiki-kins? Is that smoke? Is someone smoking within a six-mile radius…
Answer: America’s Sweethearts!
Julia Roberts played the cute little “Kiki” in this movie with her snobbish sister, Catherine Zeta-Jones. Kiki loves Eddie Thomas, who is played by John Cusack, in this Las Vegas based movie. The one liners are terrific and so is the entire cast. Billy Crystal puts the finishing touches on this movie!
Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???
“You of all people should know Terry, in your hotel, there’s always someone watching.”
Monday’s Quizzler is….
What expression is represented here?
Run, Hit, Jump = Volume Level 9
Dictionary = Volume Level 2
Answer: Actions speak louder than words.
Explanation: Run, Hit, Jump are all actions and the volume level for them is higher that than
of Dictionary which simply contains a whole lot of words. Hence you get Actions speak louder than words.
Tuesday’s Quizzler is…….
A man went to a drive through of a bank with his mind set on robbing it. When he pulled up to the window he put a note in the box and sent it to the teller. The note read,
“I have a gun and I am a very dangerous man, if you quietly cooperate I will not shoot. If you don’t I will kill you and the teller next to you. Fill a money bag with as many one hundred dollar bills from the safe as you can fit and bring it back to me quickly.”
The teller nodded, did as the man asked and the man drove quickly away. When the man drove several blocks out of harm’s way, far away from the crime scene, he got out of his car, took the false license plate off and placed the legitimate one back on – so he could not be traced. He threw the false tag and fake gun in the dumpster and headed home. Feeling like he was invincible and could get away with anything, he took a quick peek at his goods – nothing was inside but a bunch of wadded up tissues to give the bag a nice bulge. The man was absolutely beside himself with shock. He considered going back to the bank, but decided it was best not to as the police were probably swarming. So after disposing of the money bag he decided to just head home. Upon arrival at his house he was greeted by 6 police cars and 3 Sheriff cars. He knew there was no way for them to have traced him, so he pulled up into his driveway and got out nonchalantly.
“Hello, officers. What’s going on? This is usually a quiet neighborhood. Need my help with anything?” An officer approached the man and said “Yes sir, I was wondering if I could see your I.D.?” The man saw no problem and politely handed it over. After glancing at the man’s I.D. the officer read him his Miranda Rights and arrested him.
Now, if the man threw away all evidence connecting him to the bank robbery, how was the officer so sure it was him, and how did they know where to find him?
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in WEDNESDAY’S Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! 😎 Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
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