WELCOME to THURSDAY SEPTEMBER 29, 2022
ACTUAL EXCERPTS FROM STUDENT SCIENCE EXAMS:
Charles Darwin was a naturalist who wrote the organ of the species.
Benjamin Franklin produced electricity by rubbing cats backwards.
The theory of evolution was greatly objected to because it made man think.
Three kinds of blood vessels are arteries, vanes and caterpillers.
The process of turning steam back into water again is called conversation.
The Earth makes one resolution every 24 hours.
To collect fumes of sulfur, hold a deacon over a flame in a test tube.
Algebraical symbols are used when you do not know what you are talking about.
The pistol of a flower is its only protection against insects.
Dew is formed on leaves when the sun shines down on them and makes them perspire.
A super-saturated solution is one that holds more than it can hold.
A triangle which has an angle of 135 degrees is called an obscene triangle.
When you haven’t got enough iodine in your blood you get a glacier.
For fractures: to see if the limb is broken, wiggle it gently back and forth.
To remove dust from the eye, pull the eye down over the nose.
For asphyxiation: apply artificial respiration until the patient is dead.
When you smell an odorless gas, it is probably carbon monoxide.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a GREAT THURSDAY people, stay safe,
and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁
q u o t e s o f t h e d a y
Starbucks yesterday announced plans to build 10,000 eco-friendly stores by
2025, which means America will have to add more street corners.” -Seth Meyers
“Weight Watchers announced it’s changing its name. They’ve changed their
name to ‘Screw It, Have the Fudge.'” -Conan O’Brien
“There are lots of foreign leaders here in New York City for the U.N. It’s that
special time of year when New Yorkers get road rage, then realize they
just flipped off the king of Norway.” -Jimmy Fallon
Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
While waiting in line at a busy airport check-in counter, I noticed a set of
rambunctious little boys in front of me. As the line inched along, their
mother tried in vain to get them to calm down.
Finally, she reached the counter, where the ticket agent asked her, “Have
any of the items you plan to take with you on this flight been out of
your immediate control since your arrival at the airport?”
The young mother replied honestly, “The luggage, no; the children, yes.” 😳😳
Wednesday’s’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “
“And my fear is… she won’t.”
Answer: Stepmom!
Jackie, who was played by Susan Sarandon, was dying of cancer and knew that she wouldn’t be around to see the future of her children, Ben and Anna. What made her even more scared was the fact that Isabel would be. Isabel also feared that Anna would wish her mother was at the wedding, when Jackie came back with “and my fear is… she won’t.”
Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???
“I do not believe in fairies”
Wednesday’s Quizzler is….
An elderly pool attendant is starting to get sick of having to open the swimming pool every Monday, so he decides that the pool will remain closed on Mondays from now on. Being of reasonably limited English, he makes up a sign which he hangs from the front gate. What’s special about his sign?
NOW NO SWIMS ON MON
Answer: If you spin the sign upside down it will still read the same thing as it did.
Thursday’s Quizzler is…….
Below are 3 pairs of words. Find the words that fit in the middle of each pair of words to create two new words, one front-ended and one back-ended.
Example: EVER – __ – HORN
Answer: EVER – GREEN – HORN
- GRAND – _ – OUT
- QUARTER – _ – MIND
- HAIR – ___ – FIRE
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in FRIDAY’S Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! 😎 Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
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