WELCOME to FRIDAY SEPTEMBER 30, 2022
The World’s Best One Liners….
- Escalators don’t break down… they just turn into stairs
- “I’m sorry” and “I apologize” mean the same thing… except when you’re at a funeral.
- I intend to live forever… or die trying.
- We never knew he was a drunk… until he showed up to work sober.
- A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
- A blind man walks into a bar….And a table, and a chair.
- At what age is it appropriate to tell my dog that he’s adopted?
- Want to hear a pizza joke…. nah, it’s too cheesy. What about a construction joke? Oh never mind, I’m still working on that one. Did you hear the one about the rope? Skip it. Have you heard the one about the guy in the wheelchair? Never mind, it’s too lame.
- I used to be in a band, we were called ‘lost dog’. You probably saw our posters.
- I childproofed the house… but they still get in!
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a GREAT WEEKEND! people, stay safe,
and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁
q u o t e s o f t h e d a y
“The best portion of a good man’s life is his little nameless,
unencumbered acts of kindness and of love.” — Wordsworth
“In three words I can sum up everything I’ve learned about
life: It goes on.” ― Robert Frost
“Life is ten percent what happens to you and ninety percent
how you respond to it.” — Charles Swindoll
“Keep calm and carry on.” — Winston Churchill
“Maybe that’s what life is… a wink of the eye and
winking stars.” — Jack Kerouac
“Life is a flower of which love is
the honey.” — Victor Hugo
Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
“Harry,” whined Mary, to her husband of 20 years. “What should I do?! I’m not ready
for old age! I’m only 40 years old but I look and feel like I’m over 55! My face is all
wrinkly, my back is bent over, and my hair is all thinned out.” “Well,” said Harry after
looking her up and down, “There is one thing about you that still works as good as new.”
“Oh Harry!” said Mary sitting down next to her husband, “you always know just what to say!
What are you referring to?” “Never mind” said Harry looking down. “C’mon Harry, please tell
me what you were referring to.” “Mary, please don’t make me.” “Harry I insist.” “Well I was
going to remark about how your eyesight seems to be working just fine!”😳
Thursday’s’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “
“I do not believe in fairies”
Robin William just had his children kidnapped by the rotten Captain Hook. Who should come and take him away to Neverland but Tinkerbell, played by Julia Roberts. At first Peter was not ready to accept that she was a fairy.
Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???
“four days to break up a wedding, steal the bride’s fella…”
Thursday’s Quizzler is….
Below are 3 pairs of words. Find the words that fit in the middle of each pair of words to create two new words, one front-ended and one back-ended.
Example: EVER – __ – HORN
Answer: EVER – GREEN – HORN
- GRAND – _ – OUT
- QUARTER – _ – MIND
- HAIR – ___ – FIRE
Answer: 1. GRAND – STAND – OUT
- QUARTER – MASTER – MIND
- HAIR – BRUSH – FIRE
Friday’s Quizzler is…….
These well-known sayings were translated by computer to another language then back into English. What were the original sayings?
- It hits while the iron is warm.
- Initially come, initially been useful.
- As for evidence of the pudding there are times when you eat.
- More than one road it removed the skin from the tomcat.
- Is human to mad.
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in MONDAY’S Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! 😎 Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
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