Monday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

WELCOME to MONDAY OCTOBER 3, 2022

Here’s The Story….
An old man in Miami calls up his son in New York and says, “Listen, your mother and
I are getting divorced. Forty-five years of misery is enough.”
“Dad, what are you talking about?” the son screams.
“We can’t stand the sight of each other any longer,” he says. “I’m sick of her face, and
I’m sick of talking about this, so call your sister in Chicago and tell her,” and he hangs up.
Now, the son is worried. So he calls up his sister. She says, “Like hell they’re getting
divorced!” and calls her father immediately. “You’re not getting divorced! Don’t do
another thing, the two of us are flying home tomorrow to talk about this. Until then,
don’t call a lawyer, don’t file a paper, DO YOU HEAR ME?” and she hangs up.
The old man turns to his wife and says “Okay, they’re coming for Christmas and paying their own airfares.” That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a GREAT MONDAY! people, stay safe,
and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁

q u o t e s o f t h e d a y

“A high school student has developed an app that helps teens locate a welcoming
group of kids in the lunchroom called ‘Sit With Us’ – or as bullies call it, ‘Victim Finder.'” -Seth Meyers

“Scientists developed a robotic skin that can make stuffed animals appear to come to life.
It’s being hailed as a breakthrough for people who like to scare small children.” -Conan O’Brien

“Trump just got a new $1.5 million limo. It fires tear gas, has night vision, and can lay down
an oil slick to make anyone chasing it spin out of control. I’m pretty sure Trump was like,
‘Build me the Batmobile. Just do it.'” -Jimmy Fallon

Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
Years of smoking finally caught up with my friend John one morning when he
keeled over at work, clutching his heart. He was rushed to a hospital
and peppered with questions.
“Do you smoke?” asked a paramedic.
“No,” John whispered. “I quit.”
“That’s good. When did you quit?”
“Around 9:30 this morning.” 😳

Friday’s’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “
“four days to break up a wedding, steal the bride’s fella…”

Answer: “My Best Friend’s Wedding”
Julia Roberts has captured our hearts in so many different movies, with so many memorable lines. I loved her with Nick Nolte in “I Love Trouble”, and I adored her with Dennis Quaid in “Something to Talk About”. She definitely played a ruthless woman in “My Best Friend’s Wedding”, with Cameron Diaz. But the smile cannot be replaced in her movie “Mona Lisa Smile”. What an appropriate title for a Julia Roberts movie.

Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???
“If you are fighting, stop fighting. If you are marching, stop marching. Come back to me. Come back to me is my request.”

Friday’s Quizzler is….​
These well-known sayings were translated by computer to another language
then back into English. What were the original sayings?

  1. It hits while the iron is warm.
  2. Initially come, initially been useful.
  3. As for evidence of the pudding there are times when you eat.
  4. More than one road it removed the skin from the tomcat.
  5. Is human to mad.

Answer: 1. Strike while the iron is hot.

  1. First come, first served.
  2. The proof of the pudding is in the eating.
  3. There is more than one way to skin a cat.
  4. To err is human.

Monday’s Quizzler is…….
Two personal pronouns if you take
And join them in due order,
An herb will name, without mistake,
That scents the garden border.

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in TUESDAY’S Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! 😎 Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

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https://elisabethluxe.com., http://www.themuscleministry.com.

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