Tuesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

WELCOME to TUESDAY OCTOBER 4, 2022

Lexophile Punagraphy……..
Everyone loves a little bit of wordplay. English is an amazingly versatile language and being able to twist it into new and amazing forms while still being technically correct is fantastic talent to have. Why yes, I am a lexophile, which is to say, a lover of words. I’m also an autodidact but that’s something else entirely (and something I’ll let you figure out for yourself). Anyways, puns, like pizza, can be either really good or really bad, there’s no in-between. And no, I’m not trying to be punny. Below you’ll find some of the choicest puns around, puns for the lexophile in all of us (unlike the one I just made).

A bicycle can’t stand alone; it is two tired.
A will is a dead giveaway.
Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
A backward poet writes inverse.
In a democracy it’s your vote that counts; in feudalism, it’s your Count that votes.
A chicken crossing the road: poultry in motion.
If you don’t pay your exorcist you can get repossessed.
With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.
Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft and I’ll show you A-flat miner.
When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.
The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was fully recovered.
A grenade fell onto a kitchen floor in France resulted in Linoleum Blownapart.
You are stuck with your debt if you can’t budge it.
Local Area Network in Australia : The LAN down under.
He broke into song because he couldn’t find the key.
A calendar’s days are numbered.
A lot of money is tainted: ‘Taint yours, and ‘taint mine.
A boiled egg is hard to beat.
He had a photographic memory which was never developed.
A plateau is a high form of flattery.

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a HAPPY TUESDAY! people, stay safe,
and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁

q u o t e s o f t h e d a y

“A man in Ireland has created a working Batman outfit with 23 different features.
So now he just has to sit back and wait for somebody to murder his parents.” -Seth Meyers

“The investment banking firm Goldman Sachs joined Instagram in an attempt to endear
themselves to a new generation. Today, Goldman posted a meme that said, ‘We’re the
reason your parents lost your childhood home.'” -Conan O’Brien

“I saw that Gucci debuted a pair of leather underwear for men. Leather underwear.
The designers were like, ‘How can we make a humid day a thousand times worse?'” -Jimmy Fallon

Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
An elderly gentleman checked into a New York hotel. The clerk mentioned the phone
service the establishment made available for calling guests who wished to rise at an early hour.
“No need for that, young man,” snapped the old timer. “I always wake up at five A.M. sharp – without an alarm clock.” “Very good, sir,” the clerk replied, then asked, “Would you mind calling me at six?” 😳😳

Monday’s’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “
“If you are fighting, stop fighting. If you are marching, stop marching. Come back to me. Come back to me is my request.”

Answer: Cold Mountain!
Ada Monroe barely got to know Inman before he had to leave to fight in the American Civil War. Now, with her father dead and her world turned upside down, she finds herself thinking about him often, and wishing that he would come home. This line is said to Inman, but over the distance of miles, as she wills him to return. Jude Law, Nicole Kidman and Renee Zellweger starred under Anthony Minghella’s direction.

Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???
“And I don’t want them dancing naked under the full moon!”
“No, of course. The nudity is entirely optional, as you well remember.”

Monday’s Quizzler is….
Two personal pronouns if you take
And join them in due order,
An herb will name, without mistake,
That scents the garden border.

Answer: THY-ME

Tuesday’s Quizzler is…….
What is the next animal in this series:

Quail, Weasel, Emu, Racoon, -?-

Choose from:
Yak
Turkey
Bumblebee
Ostrich
Tiger
Eland

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in WEDNESDAY’S Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! 😎 Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

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