Tuesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!


Here’s the Story……
A man and his friend were exiting a drugstore and at the front door there was a scale.
“Look, a scale,” the man said to his friend. “Let’s see how my new diet is working out.”
He stepped on the scale. “I can’t believe it!” he said as he read the result. “I’ve been
on this diet for two weeks but the scale says I’m heaver than I was before! How can that be?”
He pondered this as he stepped off the scale, then had a thought. He took off his jacket
and handed it to his friend. “Here, hold my jacket,” he said. The friend took the jacket as
the man stepped back on the scale. Not much change. “Here,” he said as he handed his
purchase from the drugstore to his friend. “Hold my Twinkies too.” 😳
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a HAPPY TUESDAY! people, stay safe,
and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁

q u o t e s o f t h e d a y

“Wal-Mart is working on a self-driving shopping cart that would return itself to the store
after you’re done using it. Though the minute that Wal-Mart shopping cart becomes self-aware,
it’s going to drive itself to Target and never look back.” -Jimmy Fallon

“In France, a shipment that was supposed to contain orange juice was discovered to actually
contain a massive shipment of cocaine. Either way, a great way to start your morning.” -Conan O’Brien

“IHOP is now making their own beer. It’s perfect for people who think
Waffle House beer is just a little too trashy.” -Jimmy Fallon

Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
The elevator in our building malfunctioned one day, leaving several of us stranded. Seeing a
sign that listed two emergency phone numbers, I dialed the first and explained our situation.
After what seemed to be a very long silence, the voice on the other end said, “I don’t know
what you expect me to do for you; I’m a psychologist.”
“A psychologist?” I replied. “Your phone is listed here as an emergency number. Can’t you help us?”
“Well,” he finally responded in a measured tone. “How do you feel about being stuck in an elevator?” 😳

Monday’s’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “
“All I do is dream of you the whole night through; with the dawn I still go on, dreaming of you. You’re every thought, you’re everything, you’re every song I ever sing; summer, winter, autumn and spring. And were there more than twenty-four hours a day; they’d be spent in sweet content dreaming away; when skies are grey, when skies are blue; morning, noon and night time too; all I do the whole day through is dream of you.”

Answer: “Singin’ In the Rain”!
Debbie Reynolds, as Kathy, is with the Coconut Grove Girls. In the movie she jumps out of a cake at a party Gene Kelly, as Don, is attending. This is a movie made in 1952, showing the trials and tribulations of moving from silent movies to talkies, while filling in the space with an unrequited love story of Gene Kelly and Jean Hagen. It finally ends with a requited one of Gene Kelly and Debbie Reynolds. The final scene shows them kissing in front of a billboard advertising the movie.

Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???
“I like a man who can run faster than I can”

Monday’s Quizzler is….​
Five friends recently entered a poetry writing competition. Each chose a different title for his or her piece and took a different length of time to compose it. Can you discover the full name of each poet, the title of his or her work and the amount of time he or she spent on its construction?

  1. Mandy took two hours longer over her piece of work than the author of ‘Gentle Lady’, who spent longer writing a poem than the person surnamed Chester.
  2. ‘Mark of Cain’ (coincidentally written by the man named Mark) took less time to write than Miss Holford’s piece, which isn’t entitled ‘Garden of Desire’.
  3. George wrote ‘Capital Charisma’ and the poet surnamed Willis penned a futuristic poem entitled ‘Final Frontiers’ which, incidentally, won first prize in the competition.
  4. The poet surnamed Jork took an hour longer to write an entry than Mrs Clayton spent at her creation.

Answer: The two women (Ingrid and Mandy) are surnamed Holford (MISS, clue 2) and Clayton (MRS, clue 4). Mark wrote ‘Mark of Cain’ (2) and George wrote ‘Capital Charisma’ (3). So, Robert is Willis who wrote ‘Final Frontiers (3). The author of ‘Gentle Lady’ isn’t Mandy (1), so Ingrid. Mandy wrote ‘Garden of Desire’. Thus she isn’t Miss Holford (2), so she’s Mrs Clayton and Ingrid is Miss Holford. Mandy’s piece didn’t take 11 hours (4), so (1) Mandy’s took 10 hours, Ingrid 8 hours and the poet surnamed Chester took 7 hours. The one surnamed Jork took 11 hours (4), so Robert (Willis) took 9 hours. Mark’s surname is thus Chester (2), so George’s is Jork.

George, Jork, ‘Capital Charisma’, 11 hours
Ingrid, Holford, ‘Gentle Lady’, 8 hours
Mandy, Clayton, ‘Garden of Desire’, 10 hours
Mark, Chester, ‘Mark of Cain’, 7 hours
Robert, Willis, ‘Final Frontiers’, 9 hours

Tuesday’s Quizzler is…….
I am not a king, I am not a queen
But most of you will bow when I’m seen
Currently I am resting on my side
But soon I will continue my stride
I can’t walk, run, fly or crawl
Yet I am the greatest traveller of all

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in WEDNESDAY’S Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! 😎 Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

https://elisabethluxe.com., http://www.themuscleministry.com.

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