Monday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

WELCOME to MONDAY OCTOBER 24, 2022

Here’s the Story……
Teeing off on the 12th hole at a golf resort, we stopped to buy cold drinks from the young
woman driving the beverage cart. As my buddy reached for his wallet, he said to her,
“You’re in great shape. You must work out a lot.”
Flattered, she gave him a big smile and gushed, “Oh, thank you so much!”
The next day a different young woman was driving the cart. “Watch this,” I whispered.
I walked up to her and said, “Wow, you look great. You must work out a lot.”
“Yeah,” she replied flatly. “You should try it.” 😳
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a GREAT WEEKEND! people, stay safe, and whatever you do,
don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁

q u o t e s o f t h e d a y

“A new study finds that having acne could be a good thing because it
protects your skin from aging. And then teenagers were like, ‘Right now
it just feels like it’s protecting me from girls.'” -Jimmy Fallon

“Over the weekend, a 102-year-old woman got herself arrested so she could
check that off of her bucket list. Now, it all seems like a cute story until you
learn that the arrest was for triple homicide.” -Conan O’Brien

“Paris Hilton just bought an $8,000 Chihuahua. The dog weighs 12 ounces.
I’ve eaten hot dogs that weigh more than 12 ounces. That’s not even officially
a dog, that’s a hamster; she spent eight grand on a hamster.” -Jimmy Kimmel

Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
I was walking past an alley last night, when I heard, “Help! Help!” coming from
behind a dumpster. Two thugs were trying to steal an old lady’s handbag, but she
was putting up a heck of a fight and wouldn’t let go.
I wondered if I should get involved, or keep walking and pretend I didn’t see anything.
I finally decided that I should help.
She was one tough old lady, but the three of us finally got that handbag. 😳😳

Friday’s’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “
“I haven’t worn a nightgown in years”

Answer: Roman Holiday!
While on a tour of European capitals, a princess, played by Audrey Hepburn in her American debut, rebels against her schedule and sneaks out, after having taken a sleeping pill. She is found sleeping on a park bench by an American newsman, Bradley, who takes her home to sleep it off. Later, he pretends he doesn’t know who she is, hoping for an exclusive interview, and offers to show her the sites of Rome. While doing this, he falls in love with her. The quote is one Bradley says to Princess Ann, in reply to her question if he “had a silk nightgown with rosebuds”.
This romantic comedy garnered both Audrey Hepburn and the screenplay an Oscar.

Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???
“Isn’t it simple as one, two, three? One: The working conditions are bad. Two: They’re bad because the mob does the hiring. And three: The only way we can break the mob is to stop letting them get away with murder.”

Friday’s Quizzler is….
The following is an advertisement for a common item. The ad agency, however, is trying to entice buyers by making the item sound more impressive than it really is. Can you tell what is being sold here?

DEFY GRAVITY!
As you command water – or any liquid – to flow upwards! Could you be tampering with the secrets of the Earth? Your friends will be amazed! Just $1.99.

Answer: The item being advertized is a straw.

Monday’s Quizzler is…….
A spoonerism is a transposition of initial sounds of two or more words (as in “tons of soil” for “sons of toil”).
So… What is a spoonerism for a counterfeit creature as opposed to a banquet of oven-cooked foods?

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in TUESDAY’S Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! 😎 Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

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