Tuesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!


Here’s the Story……
So, you want a day off. Let’s take a look at what you are asking for:
There are 365 days per year available for work. There are 52 weeks per year in which
you already have 2 days off per week, leaving 261 days available for work. Since you
spend 16 hours each day away from work, you have used up 170 days, leaving only 91
days available. You spend 30 minutes each day on coffee break, which counts for 23 days
each year, leaving only 68 days available. With a 1-hour lunch each day, you used up another
46 days, leaving only 22 days available for work. You normally spend 2 days per year on sick leave.
This leaves you only 20 days per year available for work. We are off 5 holidays per year, so your
available working time is down to 15 days. We generously give 14 days’ vacation per year, which
leaves only 1 day available for work and I’ll be gosh darned if you are going to take that day off!
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a HAPPY TUESDAY! people, stay safe, and whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁

q u o t e s o f t h e d a y

“According to a new study, men are naturally programmed to want more than
one woman even when in monogamous relationships. And the scientists who
conducted the study want to know if they can crash on your couch for a while.” -Seth Meyers

“The NYPD is apparently teaching its officers how to be more polite. It’s true
last time I got frisked, the cop was like, ‘Have you lost weight?'” -Jimmy Fallon

“The TSA is cracking down on the so-called comfort animals, the ones people bring
on the plane because they claim to be too nervous to fly alone. The airlines have had
enough and they only want trained service animals to be allowed on the planes. I don’t
blame them. Have you been on an airplane recently? It’s like a Noah’s Ark of Chihuahuas
and Maltipoos. If you’re so emotionally unstable that you need to hold a poodle to get on
a plane, maybe you shouldn’t get on a plane.” -Jimmy Kimmel

Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
A seven-year-old boy is sitting at the dinner table with his parents. Suddenly he announces,
“Me and Janie next door are gonna get married!”
“Oh?” says the mother, amused. “And how old is Janie?”
“Six,” replies the boy.
“Well,” says the father, “what are you going to do for money?”
“I get 5 dollars a week allowance,” says the son, “and Janie gets 2. We figured that if we put them together, we’ll be okay.”
“I see,” says the father. “But what are you going to do if you have any children?”
“Well,” says the boy, “so far we’ve been lucky.” 😳😳😳

Monday’s’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “
“Isn’t it simple as one, two, three? One: The working conditions are bad. Two: They’re bad because the mob does the hiring. And three: The only way we can break the mob is to stop letting them get away with murder.”

Answer: “On the Waterfront!
This story about Terry Malloy, a would-be prize fighter turned longshoreman, and the battle he has with himself on whether or not to stand up and be counted against the corruption and death going on at the docks. Father Barry is a Catholic activist priest who, in this quote, urges Malloy, played by Marlon Brando, and the other longshoremen to fight for their rights and to testify against the perpetrators of murder. The movie was nominated for 12 Academy Awards and won eight of them, including Best Picture, Best Actor, Best Screenplay and Best Director.

Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???
“Ma, sooner or later, there comes a point in a man’s life when he’s gotta face some facts. And one fact I gotta face is that, whatever it is that women like, I ain’t got it.”

Monday’s Quizzler is….​
A spoonerism is a transposition of initial sounds of two or more words (as in “tons of soil” for “sons of toil”).
So… What is a spoonerism for a counterfeit creature as opposed to a banquet of oven-cooked foods?

Answer: The first is a fake beast, and the second is a bake feast!

Tuesday’s Quizzler is…….
Our usage dates back a long, long way. While among the first tools, our prototypes were bone and plant. Today we are usually made of steel.

We are related by design but not purposes, though sometimes we work well together, especially in the holding business.

We have relatives of different shapes and sizes. A hollow one is a real sticker and our Chinese cousins can be all over you.

In Great Britain we are a popular name for a pricking or tingling sensation, and to be on us in the U.S. is to be in a state of excessive uneasiness.

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in WEDNESDAY’S Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! 😎 Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

https://elisabethluxe.com., http://www.themuscleministry.com.

CHECK THIS BOOK OUT online at https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07FF669PT/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1531337765&sr=1-1&keywords=The+Banquet+Servers+Hand+Guide#, Amazon.com: The Banquet Servers Hand Guide (Basic) eBook: Euclid Strayhorn: Kindle Store.
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