WELCOME to WEDNESDAY OCTOBER 26, 2022
Here’s the Story……
In the year 2010, the Lord came unto Noah, who was now living in the United States, and said: Once again the earth has become wicked and over-populated, and I see the end of all flesh before me. Build another Ark and save 2 of every living thing long with a few good humans. He gave Noah the blueprints, saying: You have 6 months to build the Ark before I will start the unending rain for 40 days and 40 nights. Six months later, the Lord looked down and saw Noah weeping in his yard – but no Ark. Noah! He roared, I’m about to start the rain! Where is the Ark ? Forgive me, Lord, begged Noah, but things have changed. I needed a building permit. I’ve been arguing with the inspector about the need for a sprinkler system. My neighbors claim that I’ve violated the neighborhood zoning laws by building the Ark in my yard and exceeding the height limitations. We had to go to the Development Appeal Board for a decision. Then the Department of Transportation demanded a bond be posted for the future costs of moving power lines and other overhead obstructions, to clear the passage for the Ark ‘s move to the sea. I told them that the sea would be coming to us, but they would hear nothing of it. Getting the wood was another problem. There’s a ban on cutting local trees in order to save the spotted owl. I tried to convince the environmentalists that I needed the wood to save the owls – but no go! When I started gathering the animals, an animal rights group sued me. They insisted that I was confining wild animals against their will. They argued the accommodations were too restrictive, and it was cruel and inhumane to put so many animals in a confined space. Then the EPA ruled that I couldn’t build the Ark until they’d conducted an environmental impact study on your proposed flood. I’m still trying to resolve a complaint with the Human Rights Commission on how many minorities I’m supposed to hire for my building crew. Immigration is checking the status of most of the people who want to work. The trade unions say I can’t use my sons. They insist I have to hire only Union workers with Ark-building experience. To make matters worse, they seized all my assets, claiming I’m trying to leave the country illegally with endangered species. So, forgive me, Lord, but it would take at least 10 years for me to finish this ark. Suddenly the skies cleared, the sun began to shine, and a rainbow stretched across the sky. Noah looked up in wonder and asked, “You mean you’re not going to destroy the world?” “No,” said the Lord. “The government beat me to it.” That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a WONDERFUL WEDNESDAY! people, stay safe, and whatever you do,
don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁
q u o t e s o f t h e d a y
We are only as strong as we are united,
as weak as we are divided. J.K. Rowling
One who gains strength by overcoming obstacles
possesses the only strength which can
overcome adversity. Albert Schweitzer
Courage isn’t having the strength to go on,
it is going on when you don’t have the strength.
That which does not kill us makes
us stronger. Friedrich Nietzsche
Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
Sam walks into his boss’s office. “Sir, I’ll be straight with you, I know the economy
isn’t great, but I have over three companies after me, and I would like to Â respectfully
ask for a raise.” After a few minutes of haggling the boss finally agrees to a 5%
raise, and Sam happily gets up to leave. “By the way”, asks the boss as Sam is getting up,
“which three companies are after you?” “The electric company, water company,
and phone company”, Sam replied. 😳
Tuesday’s’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “
“Ma, sooner or later, there comes a point in a man’s life when he’s gotta face
some facts. And one fact I gotta face is that, whatever it is that women like, I ain’t got it.”
A touching movie about two people who aren’t the beautiful, glamorous, people of the world, but just two regular people who haven’t yet found anyone to love and to love them. Eventually, Marty, played by Ernest Borgnine, and Clara, played by Betsy Blair, find their way to love. The movie won four Oscars, including Best Actor, Best Picture, Best Director, and Best Writing, Screenplay
Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???
“I assume he had a mother, but I am not certain”
Tuesday’s Quizzler is….
Our usage dates back a long, long way. While among the first tools, our prototypes were bone and plant. Today we are usually made of steel.
We are related by design but not purposes, though sometimes we work well together, especially in the holding business.
We have relatives of different shapes and sizes. A hollow one is a real sticker and our Chinese cousins can be all over you.
In Great Britain we are a popular name for a pricking or tingling sensation, and to be on us in the U.S. is to be in a state of excessive uneasiness.
Answer: Pins and Needles.
Notes: A hollow one: a syringe needle is hollow.
Chinese cousins: acupuncture needles can be all over you.
Tuesday’s Quizzler is…….
My first is novel, shiny and bright
My second a warring rose of white
My third are a-changin’, did Dylan write
My whole to press will expedite
What am I?
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in THURSDAY’S Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! 😎 Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
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