Monday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!


Fairy Tales Rewritten
This is my version of how fairy tales and children’s stories should have gone. It points out the absurdity and foolishness that we just take for granted when we tell or read the story to our kids. Some may claim the stories are metaphors and have hidden lessons in them, but I maintain that a good story, even one with a metaphor or lesson, should still make sense. I’m not saying these stories would be more entertaining this way, but I derive a sense of entertainment from rewriting them to be more logical.

  1. Goldilocks – The bears lock the door when they leave and Goldilocks can’t get in. The End.
  2. Little Red Riding Hood – The wolf eats Little Red Riding Hood when he meets her in the forest instead of
    going through all the trouble of taking a shortcut and impersonating her grandmother. The End.
  3. The Three Little Pigs – The wolf eats all three pigs while they’re building their houses. The End.
  4. All Curious George books – The man with the yellow hat takes responsibility for his pet instead of leaving
    him unsupervised. George no longer gets into trouble. The End.
  5. The Wizard of Oz – Dorothy trades her slippers for the Wicked Witch’s broom and goes home. The End. (via xkcd)
  6. Rumpelstiltskin – When the king asks the miller if it’s true that his daughter can spin straw into gold the miller says,
    “Of course not, I was being metaphorical.” The End.
  7. Cinderella – Cinderella goes to the ball in her normal clothes and even the shallow
    Prince can see she’s beautiful. The End.

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a GREAT MONDAY! people, stay safe, and whatever you do,
don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁

q u o t e s o f t h e d a y

“A new study found that good-looking people are more likely to have
daughters than sons. And ugly people are more likely to have cats.” -Jimmy Fallon

“A New Jersey restaurant is offering a special menu this month that doesn’t list prices,
but instead asks customers to pay what they think is fair. According to the sign in the
window, the restaurant is called ‘This Space for Rent.'” -Seth Meyers

“They say it now costs $250,000 to raise a child to age 18, and that doesn’t count
college, which is like $50,000 a year. So kids, if you want to give dad a great
Father’s Day gift, run away.” -Jimmy Kimmel

Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
An elderly couple had dinner at another couple’s house, and after eating, the wives left the
table and went into the kitchen. The two gentlemen were talking, and one said, ‘Last week
we went out to a new restaurant and it was really great.. I would recommend it.’
The other man said, ‘What is the name of the restaurant?’ The first man thought and thought
and finally said, ‘What is the name of that flower you give to someone you love? You know….
The one that’s red and has thorns.’ ‘Do you mean a rose?’
‘That’s the one,’ replied the man. He then turned towards the kitchen and yelled, ‘Rose,
what’s the name of that restaurant we went to last night?’ 😳😳

Friday’s’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “
“You’re not too smart, are you? I like that in a man.”

Answer: “Body Heat”
It would appear that Kathleen Turner hit “pay dirt” with her feature film debut. Although Turner had worked some on television, “Body Heat” was her first movie. Turner’s deep, sultry voice and alluring appeal was perfect for the scheming character of Matty Walker – a woman intent on using William Hurt’s character, Ned Racine, to help her murder her husband. The quote sets the tone for just how much sway Turner’s character, Matty, intends to have over Hurt’s character, Ned, as the “predator” becomes the “prey”. The film’s writer/director, Lawrence Kasdan, went on record to say the way Turner sounded was exactly the way he had “heard” the character in his head as he wrote “Body Heat”. Unrelated movie bit: Christopher Reeve refused the part of Ned Racine when it was offered to him. Reeve said (later) that he did not think he could play the part of a “seedy lawyer” and he was very glad his friend, William Hurt, had taken the role.

Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???
The declaration of “I am your number one fan. There is nothing to worry about. You are going to be just fine.”

Friday’s Quizzler is….​
Find the common phrase that is represented by the following computer program code. Some amount of computer programming knowledge will help, as certain programming conventions are used. However, it may be solved without, as it is written in a very high-level (i.e., human-like) language.

yourLocation = 50
fenceLocation = 100
For Each BladeOfGrass
If itsLocation > 100
Then itsColor = #009900
Else itsColor = #007700

Answer: “The grass is always greener on the other side.”
The location values are given for one dimension only, and since you are at 50, and the fence is at 100, any location less than 100 is “on your side” of the fence, and any location greater than 100 is “on the other side” of the fence. The program scans the location data of every blade of grass, and sets all that are on your side to one shade of green, and all others (those on the other side) to a brighter shade of green.

Monday’s Quizzler is…….
What expression is hidden here?

time+time you dough manipulation take take pets take take step step

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in TUESDAY’S Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! 😎 Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at,


CHECK THIS BOOK OUT online at, The Banquet Servers Hand Guide (Basic) eBook: Euclid Strayhorn: Kindle Store.


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