Tuesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

WELCOME to TUESDAY NOVEMBER 15, 2022

Here’s The Story…..
Because of the reaction people have when they wake up and realize it’s a workday again
and the weekend is over, the first day of the week is called Moanday.

Many people too busy to cook on the second day of the week just open a can of beans.
Hence the day is known as Tootsday.

By the third day of the week, people are wondering when they can ever find the time to get
everything done this week that they need to, hence the day is known as Whensday.

Too bleary to even count properly, people think it’s only Day Three of the week on the next
day, therefore it’s erroneously called Thirdsday.

On the last day of the workweek, people often go out “for a few” after work. By the time they
get home, they’re too tired to cook anything elaborate, so they just throw a piece of meat,
chicken, or fish in the skillet. That’s why the day is known as Fryday.

Saturday night all the singles let loose. There’s a lot of sexual hijinks. It’s pretty obvious
why the day is called Satyrday.

And on the last day of the week–and the weekend–people look at all the items on their to-do
lists that didn’t get crossed off, groan aloud, and make themselves promises they won’t
keep. Therefore the day is called Soonday.

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a HAPPY TUESDAY! people, stay safe, and whatever you do,
don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁

q u o t e s o f t h e d a y

“A new study suggests that ancient cave art from 40,000 years ago
was mostly done by women. So even back then men didn’t
have a say in decorating.” -Jimmy Fallon

“There’s an event company that specializes in fake weddings. The idea
is that many young people don’t want to get married but they do want
a wedding, so the company puts on a fake ceremony and a fake reception.
I can’t imagine writing ‘Will attend’ on an RSVP for a fake wedding. There
are already weddings for people who don’t want to get married

they’re called weddings.” -Jimmy Kimmel

“The FDA is currently debating whether the chocolate hazelnut topping
Nutella should be classified as a dessert or a spread. Which is ridiculous.
Nutella isn’t a dessert or a spread, it’s a cry for help.” -James Corden

Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
On our way to the ski hill, my friend’s children decided to “find me a man” by the end of the day.
The kids did their best to let it be known I was unmarried and to introduce me to anyone who
was skiing alone and therefore, in their minds, single.
To my great relief they finally got bored with their mission and charged off on their own. I then
made my way to the chair lift. As I moved near the front of the line, a gentleman close to my
age said “Excuse me, but are you single?”
Groaning inwardly, I said, “Yes, but despite what you may have heard, I’m really not looking to get married.”
He looked at me oddly. “All I want is someone to share the chair lift with.” 😳😳

Monday’s’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “
“They’ve been de-kaffir-nated.”

Answer: “Lethal Weapon 2”
“Lethal Weapon 2” was the 1989 follow-up to the highly successful first film, released in 1987. Danny Glover reprised his role as the “I’m too old for this” Roger Murtaugh and Mel Gibson is as manic as ever in the role of Martin Riggs. Most of the action for the quote scene has been set out in the question so it doesn’t bear repeating here. As for the closing line by Murtaugh… yes, it is cheesy. Yes, it is politically incorrect because it uses the South African equivalent of the “N” word but we tend to overlook that because it’s delivered with such panache by Glover.

Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???
“How do you like ya ribs?”

Monday’s Quizzler is….
Five veterans were sitting around a bar swapping war stories. From the information provided, determine each veteran’s branch of service, the year each was born, and each person’s current career.

The teacher was born in 1971.
The architect was born the year before Art Smith.
Susan Wilson, who served in the Coast Guard, is a year younger than the veteran who is now a nurse.
The Navy veteran, who wasn’t born in 1970, isn’t Mary Jones who now practices law.
The Army vet, who has published several books about the war, is neither Bill Johnson nor the oldest of the group.
The former Marine, who was born in 1969, isn’t Art Smith or Mary Jones.

Answer: Mary Jones, 1968, Air Force, Lawyer

John Brown, 1972, Army, Writer

Art Smith, 1971, Navy, Teacher

Susan Wilson, 1970, Coast Guard, Architect

Bill Johnson, 1969, Marines, Nurse

Tuesday’s Quizzler is…….
And now for more mystery quotes in the style of the Vowel-less knights…

dn’t knw wh m grndfthr ws; m mch mr cncrnd t knw wht hs grndsn wll b.
t’s rnng cts nd dgs t thr!
‘ll gt thrgh, cm hll r hgh wtr.

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in WEDBESDAY’S Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! 😎 Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

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