WELCOME to FRIDAY DECEMBER 23, 2022
Did you know that hanging lights on a Christmas tree is one of the three most stressful situations
in an on-going relationship? (The other two danger zones are teaching your mate to drive and
wallpapering. Don’t EVEN think of going there!) So I now present for you….
Things NOT To Say When Hanging Christmas Lights
–“You’ve got two red lights right next to each other. You’re supposed to go yellow,
green, red, blue, not yellow, red, red, green, blue…”
–“Up a little higher. You can reach it. Go on, try.”
–“What on earth do you do to these lights when you put them away every year? Tie them in knots?”
–“Come away from that aluminum ladder, kids. I’m going to fry that sucker.”
–“If you’re not going to do it right, don’t do it at all. Don’t just throw them on, like
you do the icicles. You’re worse than your father.”
–“Give me that!!”
–“You’ve got the whole thing on the tree upside-down. The electric pluggee thing should
be down here at the bottom, not up at the top.”
–“I don’t care if you have found another two strings, I’m done!”
–“You’ve just wound ’em around and around – I thought we agreed it shouldn’t look like a spiral this year?”
–“Have you been drinking?!!?”
–“Okaaay! Looks like we’re FINALLY done here now. Not too shabby huh? Hey… wait a minute, where’s the cat?”
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a GREAT CHRISTMAS WEEKEND people, stay safe, and whatever you do,
don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁
q u o t e s o f t h e d a y
“According to a new report, the cost of all the gifts listed in ‘The
Twelve Days of Christmas’ song is up $233 from last year. Man,
that Lords a Leaping union is killing us.” -Conan O’Brien
“A novelty shop is selling a hipster nativity scene that features Joseph
with his hair in a man bun. Which explains why Mary was so
adamant about remaining a virgin.” -Seth Meyers
“Christmas is that magical time of the year when we’re forced to spend
money we don’t want to spend to travel to places we don’t want to go
to see the people we really don’t want to see.” -Jimmy Kimmel 😁
Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
As we were putting out cookies for Santa on Christmas Eve, I accidentally dropped one.
“No problem,” I said, picking it up and dusting it off before placing it back on the plate.
“You can’t do that,” argued my four-year-old.
“Don’t worry. Santa will never know.”
He shot me a look. “So he knows if I’ve been bad or good, but he doesn’t know
if you dropped a cookie on the floor?” 😳😳😳
Thursday’s’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “
“I just don’t like my son spending all his time with a man who carries a gun and goes around whacking people.”
While travelling to visit with relatives, Rachel’s son Samuel witness the murder of a police officer in the washroom of the train station. Being Amish, Rachel is not thrilled about having her son exposed to the violent world that Detective Book is a part of. When Book is shot during the course of his investigations, he ends up hiding out in the Amish community until he recovers.
Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???
“I didn’t kill my wife.”
“I don’t care.”
Thursday’s Quizzler is….
A 3-letter word has been taken out of each of the following words. Can you figure it out?
RE _ _ _
_ _ _ RESE
_ _ _ ITA
ES _ _ _ E
CAPRESE (an Italian-style salad)
CAPITA (as in, “per capita”)
Friday’s Quizzler is…….
My father gave me a brain teaser with two groups of words missing. The four words in each group are anagrams of each other. I’ve solved the first group, but I’m stuck on the second group. Can you help?
Last spring, a GANDER and his mate began frequenting the small pond in my backyard. Their diet RANGED from grass in the spring to corn in the fall, so while it wasn’t a problem yet, I feared that my vegetable GARDEN would be in DANGER later that year. I had to relocate them.
This wasn’t one of my 1, but I knew a little about their habitat. My lawn was probably 2 than what they were used to, but it wasn’t a great location. They prefer to nest on an island where they can safely 3 their young. Behind my property was a large pond beside a 4. To make that pond more attractive than mine, I added a floating platform, anchored to the bottom, to serve as an artificial island. When they saw this, they were happy to move.
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in MONDAY’S Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! 😎 Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
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