WELCOME to FRIDAY DECEMBER 30, 2022
University courses for men and women
Whatsamatta University’s Seminars For Men Fall Catalogue
Once again, the female staff at Whatsamatta University will be offering courses for men of all marital status in an attempt to help males and females understand each other better. Attendance in at least 10 of the following is required.
- Combatting Stupidity
- You Too Can Do Housework
- Resistance to Beer
- How To Properly Fill An Ice Tray
- We Do Not Want Sleazy Underwear For Christmas (Give Us Credit Cards)
- Understanding The Female Response To Coming Home Drunk At 4:00am
- Wonderful Laundry Techniques (also called “Don’t Wash My Silks”)
- Get A Life – Learn To Cook
- How Not To Act Like An Idiot When You Are Obviously Wrong
- Spelling – Even You Can Get It Right
- Understanding Your Financial Incompetence
- You, The Weaker Sex
- Reasons To Give Flowers
- Garbage – Getting It To The Curb
- You Cannot Always Wear Whatever You Please
- How To Put Down A Toilet Seat
- Give Me A Break – Why We Know Your Excuses Are Lies
- How To Go Shopping With Your Mate Without Getting Lost
- The Remote Control – Overcoming Your Dependency
- Helpful Posture Hints For Couch Potatoes
- Mother-in-Laws Are People Too
- The Weekend And Sports Are Not Synonymous
- How Not To Act Younger Than Your Children
- You Too Can Be A Designated Driver
- Male Bonding: Leave Your Friends At Home
- Attainable Goal – Omitting Foul Expletives From Vocabulary
- You Don’t Really Need That Porsche
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a GREAT REST OF THE YEAR people, stay safe, and
whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁
q u o t e s o f t h e d a y
“You’ve got to get up every morning with
determination if you’re going to go to bed with
satisfaction.” –George Lorimer
“A goal is not always meant to be reached; it often
serves simply as something to aim at.” — Bruce Lee
“Success is … knowing your purpose in life, growing
to reach your maximum potential, and sowing seeds that
benefit others.” –John C. Maxwell
“Be miserable. Or motivate yourself. Whatever has to
be done, it’s always your choice.” –Wayne Dyer
“To accomplish great things, we must not only act,
but also dream, not only plan, but also believe.” –Anatole
“Most of the important things in the world have been
accomplished by people who have kept on trying when
there seemed to be no help at all.” –Dale Carnegie
“You measure the size of the accomplishment by
the obstacles you had to overcome to reach your goals.”
–Booker T. Washington
“Real difficulties can be overcome; it is only the
imaginary ones that are unconquerable.” –Theodore N.
Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
How careers end…
Lawyers are disbarred.
Ministers are defrocked.
Electricians are delighted.
Far Eastern diplomats are disoriented.
Drunks are distilled.
Alpine climbers are dismounted.
Piano tuners are unstrung.
Orchestra leaders are disbanded.
Artists’ models are deposed.
Cooks are deranged.
Dressmakers are unbiased.
Nudists are redressed.
Office clerks are defiled.
Mediums are dispirited.
Programmers are decoded.
Accountants are discredited.
Holy people are disgraced.
Pastry chefs are deserted.
Perfume makers are dissented.
Butterfly collectors are debugged.
Students are degraded.
Electricians are refused.
Bodybuilders are rebuffed.
Underwear models are debriefed
Painters are discolored.
Spinsters are dismissed.
Judges are disappointed.
Vegas dealers are discarded.
Mathematicians are discounted.
Tree surgeons disembark.
Thursday’s’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “
“Stern if this factory ever produces a shell that can actually be fired, I’d be very unhappy.”
Answer: Schindler’s List!
Horrified by the way the Nazis treated the Jews, Oskar Schindler dedicated himself and his fortune to saving as many as he could. Under the guise of using them as workers in his munitions factory, he kept may of them from being sent to the gas chambers. He also tried to sabotage the war by making sure that the ammunition his factory produced was faulty.
Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???
“What is so great about discovery? It is a violent, penetrative act that scars what it explores. What you call discovery, I call the rape of the natural world.”
Thursday’s Quizzler is….
What common phrase does this rebus represent?
SKIN B-U-T SKIN SKIN SKIN
FLESH FLESH FLESH FLESH
MUSCLE MUSCLE MUSCLE
BONE BONE BONE BONE
Answer: Beauty is only skin deep. When spoken quickly the letters B-U-T sound
like the word “beauty,” and “B-U-T” is only as deep as the word “SKIN” is.
Friday’s Quizzler is…….
I have given you a starting word (a clue). Your job is to fill in the blanks with a 4-letter word that matches the clue already given. This 4-letter word must complete the 7-letter word next to it. Have fun!
- Therefore = ? = V_ _ TI _ _
- Whirl = ? = A _ _ IR _ _
- Demeanour = ? = A _ B _ _ _ T
- Shoestring = ? = G _ _ _ I _ R
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in NEXT YEARS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! 😎 Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
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