Wednesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

WELCOME to WEDNESDAY JANUARY 4, 2023

Identifying wasted time
TO: ALL PERSONNEL
FROM: ACCOUNTING

It has come to our attention recently that many of you have been turning in timesheets that specify large amounts
of “Miscellaneous Unproductive Time” (Code 5309). However, we need to know exactly what you are doing during your unproductive time.
Attached below is a sheet specifying a tentative extended job code list based on our observations of employee activities.
The list will allow you to specify with a fair amount of precision what you are doing during your unproductive time.
Please begin using this job-code list immediately and let us know about any difficulties you encounter.

Thank you,
Accounting

Attached: Extended Job-Code List
Code and Explanation
5316 Useless Meeting
5317 Obstructing Communications at Meeting
5318 Trying to Sound Knowledgeable While in Meeting
5319 Waiting for Break
5320 Waiting for Lunch
5321 Waiting for End of Day
5322 Vicious Verbal Attacks Directed at Coworker
5323 Vicious Verbal Attacks Directed at Coworker While Coworker is Not Present
5393 Covering for Incompetence of Coworker Friend
5400 Trying to Explain Concept to Coworker Who is Not Interested in Learning
5401 Trying to Explain Concept to Coworker Who is Stupid
5402 Trying to Explain Concept to Coworker Who Hates You
5481 Buying Snack
5482 Eating Snack
5500 Filling Out Timesheet
5501 Inventing Timesheet Entries
5502 Waiting for Something to Happen
5503 Scratching Yourself
5504 Sleeping
5510 Feeling Bored
5511 Feeling Horny
5600 Complaining About Lousy Job
5601 Complaining About Low Pay
5602 Complaining About Long Hours
5603 Complaining About Coworker (See Codes #5322 & #5323)
5604 Complaining About Boss
5605 Complaining About Personal Problems
5640 Miscellaneous Unproductive Complaining
5701 Not Actually Present At Job
5702 Suffering From Eight-Hour Flu
6102 Ordering Out
6103 Waiting for Food Delivery to Arrive
6104 Taking It Easy While Digesting Food
6200 Using Company Resources for Personal Profit
6201 Stealing Company Goods
6202 Making Excuses After Accidentally Destroying Company Goods
6203 Using Company Phone to Make Long-Distance Personal Calls
6204 Using Company Phone to Make Long-Distance Personal Calls to Sell Stolen Company Goods
6205 Hiding from Boss
6206 Gossip
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a WONDERFUL WEDNESDAY people, stay safe, and
whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁

q u o t e s o f t h e d a y

“The greatest discovery of all time is that a person can change
his future by merely changing his attitude.” Oprah Winfrey

“Every great dream begins with a dreamer. Always remember, you
have within you the strength, the patience, and the passion to
reach for the stars to change the world.” Harriet Tubman

“The people who are crazy enough to think they can
change the world are the ones who do.” Steve Jobs

“The truth is, unless you let go, unless you forgive yourself,
unless you forgive the situation, unless you realize that the
situation is over, you cannot move forward.” Steve Maraboli

Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
For thirty years, Johnson had arrived at work at 9A.M. on the dot. He had never missed a day and was never late.
Consequently, when on one particular day 9 A.M. passed without Johnson’s arrival, it caused a sensation. All work
ceased, and the boss himself, looking at his watch and muttering, came out into the corridor.
Finally, precisely at ten, Johnson showed up, clothes dusty and torn, his face scratched and bruised, his glasses bent.
He limped painfully to the time clock, punched in, and said, aware that all eyes were upon him, “I tripped and rolled
down two flights of stairs in the subway. Nearly killed myself.”
And the boss said, “And to roll down two flights of stairs took you a whole hour?” 😳😳😳

Tuesday’s’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “
“I’m placing you under arrest for the future murder of Sarah Marks and Donald Dubin, that was
to take place today, Apr. 22nd, at 0800 hours and four minutes.”

Answer: Minority Report!
There are no murders in the year 2054, not because people are any less violent, but because the precogs see the murders before they occur and the arrests are made in advance of the actual killings. It seems a perfect system, until Detective John Anderton finds that he is named as a possible future murderer, and he refuses to accept arrest without finding out why.

Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???
“On the water?”
“Well if we’re looking for a shark, we’re not going to find it on the land.”

Tuesday’s Quizzler is….​
Complete the series by making a selection from the pool.

Series: Hermes, Aphrodite, Gaea, Ares, Zeus, Cronus, Uranus, Poseidon, ?

Pool: Athena, Dionysus, Eros, Hades, Hephaestus, Hera

Answer: The series is the equivalent Greek names for the planets, which are Roman. When the Romans assimilated Greek mythology, they renamed many of the Greek gods.
Mercury = Hermes
Venus = Aphrodite
Earth = Gaea *
Mars = Ares
Jupiter = Zeus
Saturn = Cronus
Uranus = Uranus **
Neptune = Poseidon
thus
Pluto = Hades

  • Although earth is not a Roman god, Gaea is Mother Earth in Greek mythology.
    ** The Romans did not change the name of the Greek Uranus.

Wednesday’s Quizzler is…….
Today little Frederick and his mother visited a school and a family. While they were there, they saw a band, checked out the litter, and noticed a sleuth standing nearby. Later that day, they watched an army and a troop for quite a while, and noticed they were standing beside a battery. As they were leaving to go home that day, Frederick and his mother saw a party just near the den and were indeed very happy.

What was happening here?

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in THURSDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! 😎 Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

RECOMMENDED WEBSITE LINKS:
https://elisabethluxe.com., http://www.themuscleministry.com.

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