WELCOME to THURSDAY JANUARY 5, 2023
Here’s The Story…
Once upon a time in their marriage, my Dad did something really stupid. My Mom chewed him out for it.
He apologized, they made up. However, from time to time, my mom mentions what he had done. “Honey,”
my Dad finally said one day, “why do you keep bringing that up? I thought your policy was ‘forgive and forget.'”
“It is,” she said. “I just don’t want you to forget that I’ve forgiven and forgotten.” 😳😳
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a GREAT THURSDAY people, stay safe, and
whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁
q u o t e s o f t h e d a y
When I go to casinos, the most ridiculous sign I see is the one that says…”If you
have a gambling problem, call 1-800-GAMBLER.” So, I call them and say, “I have
an ace and a six. The dealer has a seven. What do I do?”
Since spaghetti is now ‘pasta’ and a TV set is a ‘home entertainment system,’ the
manager of my grocery store did his best to jazz up the lowly egg. He still has some
work to do. A sign he put up in the dairy section advertised “Boneless Chicken.”
Before I could enroll in my company’s medical insurance plan, I needed to fill out a
questionnaire. As expected, the form was very thorough, leaving nothing to chance.
One question asked, “Do you think you may need to go to the emergency
room within the next three months?” 😳
Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
Students at school were asked to write about the harmful environmental effects
of oil on fish. One 11-year old wrote, “When my mom opened a tin of sardines
last night it was full of oil and all the sardines were dead.”
Wednesday’s’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “
“On the water?”
“Well if we’re looking for a shark, we’re not going to find it on the land.”
When a great white shark makes the waters off of Chief Brody’s island its feeding grounds, something has to be done to stop it. Unfortunately Chief Brody is not at all fond of the water, despite the fact that he lives on an island.
Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???
“Now what’s wrong with you?”
“You a low down dirty dog, that’s what’s wrong. Time for me to get away from you and enter Creation,
and your dead body’d be just the welcome mat I need.” –
Wednesday’s Quizzler is….
Today little Frederick and his mother visited a school and a family. While they were there, they saw a band, checked out the litter, and noticed a sleuth standing nearby. Later that day, they watched an army and a troop for quite a while, and noticed they were standing beside a battery. As they were leaving to go home that day, Frederick and his mother saw a party just near the den and were indeed very happy.
Answer: Frederick and his mother were at the zoo.
‘school’ of whales
‘family’ of otters
‘band’ of gorillas
‘litter’ of puppies
‘sleuth’ of bears
‘army’ of herrings
‘troop’ of dogfish
‘battery’ of barracuda
‘party’ of rainbow fish
‘den’ of snakes
Thursday’s Quizzler is…….
What common phrase is represented by this rebus?
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in FRIDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! 😎 Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
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