Thursday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

WELCOME to THURSDAY JANUARY 12, 2023

Doesn’t It Annoy You When…

…there’s a car alarm nearby that goes on for hours and
the owner is nowhere to be found?

…you buy an answering machine so you won’t miss any calls, and then
everyone hangs up when they hear the machine answer?

…there’s a cop car in sight and everyone thinks they have to drive
10-15 mph slower than the speed limit?

…you’re reading a magazine and all those annoying little
subscription cards keep falling out?

…you tell someone that a door is locked and they try to open it anyway,
like it’ll magically open for them and not you.

…someone says, “well, to make a long story short” and then
they go on telling it for another 15 minutes.

…a friend or family member says “Yuck! This is awful!!”
and then tells you to try some.

…you have to inform five different sales people in the same
store that you’re just looking around.

…you rub on hand cream and can’t turn the
bathroom doorknob to get out.

…a waiter or waitress is not around at any time other
than right after you put food in your mouth.

…your tire gauge lets half the air in your tire when
all you want is a pressure reading.

…there’s a dog in your neighborhood that
barks at EVERYTHING.

…the power goes out, and you discover every
flashlight you have has dead batteries.

…someone gets in the express lane at the supermarket
and writes a check or uses a credit card.

…the elevator stops at every floor and nobody gets on.

…you almost ALWAYS back up your computer files but the week
you don’t, your hard drive crashes and you lose everything.

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a WONDERFUL WEDNESDAY people, stay safe, and
whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁

q u o t e s o f t h e d a y

You will face many defeats in life, but never let
yourself be defeated. -Maya Angelou

The greatest glory in living lies not in never falling,
but in rising every time we fall. -Nelson Mandela

In the end, it’s not the years in your life that count.
It’s the life in your years. -Abraham Lincoln

Never let the fear of striking out keep you
from playing the game. -Babe Ruth

Life is either a daring adventure or
nothing at all. -Helen Keller

Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize
how close they were to success when they gave up. -Thomas A. Edison

You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You
can steer yourself any direction you choose. -Dr. Seuss

Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
Shakey went to a psychiatrist. “Doc,” he said, “I’ve got trouble. Every time I get into bed,
I think there’s somebody under it. I get under the bed, I think there’s somebody on top of it.
Top, under, top, under. “you gotta help me, I’m going crazy!”
“Just put yourself in my hands for two years,” said the shrink.
“Come to me three times a week, and I’ll cure your fears.”
“How much do you charge?”
“A hundred dollars per visit.”
“I’ll sleep on it,” said Shakey.
Six months later the doctor met Shakey on the street. “Why didn’t you ever
come to see me again?” asked the psychiatrist.
“For a hundred buck’s a visit? A bartender cured me for ten dollars.”
“Is that so! How?” “He told me to cut the legs off the bed!” 😳😳

Tuesday’s’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “
“You’re not the man I knew ten years ago.”
“It’s not the years honey, it’s the mileage.”

Answer: Raiders of the Lost Ark!
Desperate to recover the Ark before the Germans do, Indiana Jones seeks out the daughter of his former teacher, Abner Ravenwood, to try and find the headpiece for the Staff which will reveal the location of the Ark’s resting place. However Ravenwood is dead, and the piece is in the possession of his daughter, who just happens to be Indy’s former love.

Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???
“You want to explain the math of this to me? I mean what’s the sense of risking the eight of us to save one guy?

Tuesday’s Quizzler is….​
Dylan, Brandon, Chris, and Boris were playing Texas-Hold’em where each player receives two cards. In this hand, each man received two cards in the same suit and no man received cards in the same suit as any other man. The first cards were an ace, a king, a queen and a jack. The second cards were a ten, a nine, an eight, and a seven. From the clues given, determine the first and second card and that suit the cards were in.

1) Chris and Boris both have a picture card, and one of them has spades and the other the nine.
2) The man with the king does not have hearts or the seven and neither does Dylan.
3) Brandon does not have the jack or the eight.
4) Chris sits to the right of Brandon who sits to the right of the man with diamonds, who sits to the right of the man with the queen of clubs.
5) The jack, the ten, the eight, and the diamonds are in four different hands.

Answer: Dylan had Queen and eight of Clubs
Brandon had Ace and ten of Hearts
Chris had Jack and seven of Spades
Boris had King and nine of Diamonds

Wednesday’s Quizzler is…….
Does your first name have another homophonic meaning? Here are some examples, wade and
Wade or wait and Wayte. See how many words and first names you can identify. Remember, spellings may vary.

  1. To throw away, starts with C
  2. A very strong wind, starts with G
  3. A North American songbird having a rust-red breast gray or black upper plumage, starts with R
  4. Magnificent; sumptuous, starts with R
  5. Any of various often crested birds of the genera Garrulus, Cyanocitta, Aphelocoma, and related
    genera within the family Corvidae, often having a loud, harsh call, starts with J
  6. To delay or be late in going, coming, or doing, starts with T
  7. To place in the ground, starts with B
  8. A church that is or once was part of a monastery or convent, starts with A
  9. The superior of a monastery, starts with A
  10. A leaf or one side of a leaf, as of a book, letter, newspaper, or manuscript, starts with P
  11. Belief that does not rest on logical proof or material evidence, starts with F
  12. A usually portable device for raising heavy objects by means of force applied with a lever, starts with J

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in FRIDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! 😎 Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

RECOMMENDED WEBSITE LINKS:
https://elisabethluxe.com., http://www.themuscleministry.com.

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