Monday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

WELCOME to MONDAY JANUARY 23, 2023

Marriage quotes 01
Marriage is not a word. It is a sentence–a life sentence.

Marriage is very much like a violin; after the sweet music is over, the strings are attached.

Marriage is love. Love is blind. Therefore, marriage is an institution for the blind.

Marriage is an institution in which a man loses his Bachelor’s Degree and the woman gets her Masters.

Marriage is a thing which puts a ring on a woman’s finger and two under the man’s eyes.

Marriage certificate is just another word for a work permit.

Marriage is not just a having a wife, but also worries inherited forever.

Marriage requires a man to prepare 4 types of “rings”:

  • The Engagement Ring
  • The Wedding Ring
  • The Suffe-Ring
  • The Endu-Ring

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a GREAT MONDAY people, stay safe, and
whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁

q u o t e s o f t h e d a y

“A dog in Seattle is making news after commuters noticed it had been riding the
bus to a local park all by itself. Everyone says the dog is amazing, while the dog
said, panicking, ‘I gotta find that blind guy.
I’m in a lot of trouble if I don’t find him.” -Jimmy Fallon

“A study showed that every hour of TV you watch after the age of 25 shortens your
life by 22 minutes. That doesn’t sound too bad to me. You’d probably watch
TV with that 22 minutes anyway.” -Jimmy Kimmel

“Police are looking for a woman who stole $3,000 worth of cat-grooming supplies
at an airport baggage carousel. Police describe the suspect as ‘single.'” -Seth Meyers

Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
On my first day working at the gas station, I watched a senior co-worker measure the
level of gasoline in the under ground tanks by lowering a giant measuring stick down into them.
“What would happen if I threw a lit match into the hole?” I joked.
“It would go out,” he replied very matter-of-factly.
“Really?” I asked, surprised to hear that. “Is there a lack of oxygen down there or some safety
device that would extinguish it before the fumes ignited?”
“No,” my co-worker continued. “The force from the explosion
would most likely blow it out.” 😳😳😳

Friday’s’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “
“The United States Government just asked us to save the world. Anyone wanna say no?”

Answer: Armageddon!
An asteroid, the approximate size of Texas, is hurtling towards the Earth, threatening to wipe out life as we know it. A crack team of deep core drilling specialists is sent up into to space to implant a nuclear device inside the asteroid, to save the world.
This quote is spoke by the head of the drilling team (played by Bruce Willis) when he presents the job offer to his team.

Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???
“By Grabthar’s hammer, by the sons of Worvan, you shall be avenged.”

Friday’s Quizzler is….​
If a hunter goes out his front door, goes 50 miles south, then goes 50 miles west, shoots a bear,
goes 50 miles north and ends up in front of his house, what color was the bear?

ANSWER: White. The hunter is at the north pole, and the bear is a white polar bear.

Monday’s Quizzler is…….
A man picked up a plastic water bottle and filled it to the rim with water. He put a ketchup sachet in it and closed it up.

The man approached a woman and said, “If you can solve how this works, I’ll give you a dollar.”

The man said “down” and the sachet of ketchup suddenly went down. Then he said “up” and it went up. Then he said “down”, and when it was halfway down, he said “stay” and it stayed.

How did he do this?

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in TUESDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! 😎 Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

RECOMMENDED WEBSITE LINKS:
https://elisabethluxe.com., http://www.themuscleministry.com.

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