WELCOME to TUESDAY JANUARY 31, 2023

Here’s The Story…….
A man is sitting in the coach section of a flight from New York to Chicago biting his finger
nails and sweating profusely. Noticing his disturbed expression, a flight attendant walks over
and says, “Sir, can I get you something from the bar to calm you down?”
The man gives a nod of approval while shaking terribly. She comes back with a drink and he
downs it quickly. Ten minutes later, the flight attendant sees the same man shaking and biting
his nails. She brings him another drink which he swallows immediately.
A half hour later she returns to see that the man is shaking uncontrollably, and apparently crying.
“My goodness,” the flight attendant says, “I’ve never seen someone so afraid to fly.”
“I’m not afraid of flying,” says the man sobbing loudly, “I’m trying to give up drinking.”
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a HAPPY TUESDAY people, stay safe, and
whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁

q u o t e s o f t h e d a y

“Best Buy will start selling solar panels in an effort to promote energy conservation.
Best Buy says you can find the panels right next to the 300 flat-screen TVs they leave on all day.” -Jimmy Fallon

“Lululemon is the company that makes yoga pants that are so tight they cut off circulation
to the part of your brain that decides how much money is OK to spend on yoga pants.” -Jimmy Kimmel

“There are some accusations that Silicon Valley discriminates against people because of their
age. Elderly groups are so furious about this that they plan to send Silicon Valley an angry fax.” -Conan O’Brien

Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
Judi and Gayle were at an auto show. There they saw a hot-rod with a jacked up rear end.
“Judi, why is the back end higher than the front?” Gayle asked.
“Don’t you know ANYTHING?” Judi sighed exasperated. “If you’ve got the
back up like that, then you’re always going downhill!” 😳😳😳

Monday’s’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “
“In VIETNAM, dinner was always a big thing”

Answer: “Goodfellas”
In this quote from “Goodfellas”, Henry Hill (Ray Liotta) reflects about one of the few high points that life behind bars has. This quote, continued with details of how the inmates prepared food and how each contributed a special skill, is also spoken as a self-reflecting voice-over, over the images of the food being prepared, just after Henry has submitted to being taken to jail.

Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???
“My mama always said LOVE was like a box of chocolates”

Monday’s Quizzler is….​
I went into a bar during my lunch break to get some food. I ordered my dinner and went up to the bar for a drink. It being lunch time, there was quite a long queue. I got talking to another guy who was also on his lunch break, and he said that if I gave him the money for the drink he would get it for me and bring it over to the table. I was quite suspicious of this person, so I agreed out of curiosity to see what he would do. Five minutes later he came over to my table with a glass of water for himself and he gave me my drink. I counted the change he gave me which was also correct. He had done something dishonest and was going to profit from it, but how?

ANSWER: He was having a working lunch and had got a receipt for my drink. He was going to claim expenses from his company for goods he never paid for!

Tuesday’s Quizzler is…….
Oxy the Moron set out into the world and learned a big word, OXYMORON!!! After
searching about this new word for some time, he came up with a teaser made especially for you!

Can you figure out which well-known oxymorons these words are?
Ex) Initial facsimile = original copy

1) solitary option
2) approximately precise
3) trivial calamity
4) accurate approximation
5) authentic duplication

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in WEDNESDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! 😎 Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

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