Monday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

WELCOME to MONDAY FEBRUARY 27, 2023

Here’s The Story……
Ben Shapiro, an intensely musical individual, was burdened with a brother-in-law who had the
virtue of being a successful businessman, but who was undeniably the least cultured person in
town. Ben found this very humiliating and labored to introduce the poor creature to the finer things in life.

At last, through much effort, Ben persuaded his brother-in-law to accompany him to a presentation of the
opera ‘Carmen’. He held his breath, fearing some last-minute event would spoil everything, but the day
came and Ben and his brother-in-law actually entered the opera house and took their places in an excellent box.

To Ben’s satisfaction the opera seemed to catch his brother-in-law’s fancy at once. He listened open-mouthed
and round-eyed, following every move and absorbing every note.

Ben was absolutely triumphant when, as they were leaving the theater, his brother-in-law was singing under
his breath, “To-ray-a-dor-uh, guard-un! To-ray-a-dor, To-ray-a-dor!”

Ben said, beaming, “So you like the Toreador Song, do you?”

His brother-in-law replied with excitement, “Of course I do! And as a practical businessman I’m not afraid of
making a prediction, either. I’m telling you, that song’s going to be a hit!”

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a GREAT MONDAY people, stay safe, and
whatever you do, don’t forget to laff it up! Peace, I am outta here! Eucman! 😁

q u o t e s o f t h e d a y

“The U.S. Army has officially lifted its ban on soldiers having dreadlocks. This is
good news for the Army’s elite Hacky Sack Corps.” -Conan O’Brien

“Taco Bell has announced plans to offer a $600 wedding service at its flagship
restaurant in Las Vegas. And this is cool – the burritos are conveniently wrapped
in divorce papers.” -Seth Meyers

“A new report finds that over 55,000 bridges in the U.S. were found to have major
structural problems last year. When asked how they’re going to fix them, the government
was like, ‘Eh, we’ll cross that gaping hole when we get to it.'” -Jimmy Fallon

Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
As the high school teacher was correcting essays written by her students she read,
“Pedro jumped on his burrow and rode off into the sunset.”
She wrote at the bottom of the page, “You obviously have problems with homonyms.
A burrow is a hole in the ground. A burro is an ass.
At your age it’s time to learn the difference.”

Friday’s’ Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “
“You wore control-top pantyhose?”
“Did you put a pair in the box?”
“And how did you look in them?”
“Hot.”

Answer: What Women Want!
When a freak accident allows him to hear what women are thinking, Nick has no compunction at all about using the ability to achieve his own ends, at least not at first! This interchange takes place between Nick and his new boss, while Nick is explaining how far he was willing to go to try and understand the special needs of advertising to women. Mel Gibson and Helen Hunt starred, under Nancy Meyers’ direction.

Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???
“Water – women have, on average, about 5% more of it than men, making them subject to different forces of gravity. Oh don’t take my word for it, look it up in Newton, it’s there.”
“Can’t they be drained? I’m serious.”
“Well, I believe they’re waiting for us to drink more fluids.”

Friday’s Quizzler is….
For each of the pairs of words below, insert a word in the blank space between them to form two separate words such that the inserted word finishes the first word and begins the second. For example, given “MAN __ ON”, you would insert the word “GO” to form “MANGO” and “GOON”. The hint gives the number of letters in each of the words that must be inserted.

WIN _ HERE DISC AGE
TEN OR ANT LOCK
SIN ___ SHIP

ANSWER: NOW (winnow, nowhere)
US (discus, usage)
DON (tendon, donor)
HEM (anthem, hemlock)
KING (sinking, kingship)

Monday’s Quizzler is…….
Starting with a one-letter word, symbol, or abbreviation (Clue 1), add a letter and rearrange the letters to produce the next (Clue 2). Add another letter and rearrange for the next…and the next. You end up with a 10-letter word (Clue 10)!
[Foreign words may be used, but only if they are in common English usage.]

A clue is given for each word. Words increase in length by one letter at a time.

Maybe your car does 0 to 60 in 10 sec., but can you solve this “0 to 10” word pyramid in 60 sec.? Go on – open the stopwatch app!

** CLUES **

Churchill’s ‘Victory’ fingers
The ‘idiot box’
James Herriot or Debbye Turner, for example
What we do for our national leader every 3 years in New Zealand; (5 in UK; 4 in USA)
Plainly seen
Secretive (opposite of #5)
Change (e.g. currency)
Orchestrate or ‘work it’
Directing (an aircraft) towards a destination
Exaggerating or ‘hamming it up’
The Hint will provide starting letters from #6 onwards.

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in TUESDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! 😎 Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com., https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

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